Sloane Crosley Quotes

New Yorkers have a delightfully narcissistic habit of assuming that if they're not conscious of a scene, it doesn't exist.

Being a writer is an endless study in human transition and lessons learned or forgotten or misapplied.

love is not boastful. But hate? Apparently hate has a big mouth.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

Teddy bears are best because they understand it's nice to be alone.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

I think it's hard to have a full-time job and write fiction, but for essays, you need to be in the world.

I write on weekends, on vacation, and, really - on deadline and on my floor. Both terrible for the back.

What can you do? Time grabs you by the scruff of your neck and drags you forward.

No one likes a clown who reminds them of why they hate ice-cream-truck music.

I spent a lot of time waiting for things to happen to me, which is more or less as pathetic as it sounds.

We all deserve to be congratulated, but sadly that would mean there's no one left to do the congratulating.

Why do people always want to put their hands on vulnerability? I sped up.

Its remarkable the logic we build around a misapprehension.

I have definitely had experiences where I can feel the shift from simply living my life to being slightly outside of my life and taking notes.

Who do you have to sleep with to get laid in this town?

It is my belief that people who speak of high school with a sugary fondness are bluffing away early-onset Alzheimer's.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.

The question is never "Should I be annoyed?" but "How annoyed should I be?

You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself.

You should never wear anything you can't afford to lose.

I need new ones of these. Victor pushed his glasses up the Sisyphean slope of his nose.

I think that most New Yorkers would object to calling me a New Yorker. I didn't grow up here.

I can't see the forest through the trees, except the trees are people.

Not all shabby is chic, just like not every porn actor is a star.

A human being can spend only so much time outside her comfort zone before she realizes she is still tethered to it.

Working on an essay versus a novel is like the difference between seeing to that curtain and seeing to New Jersey.

You know what they say: 'Why sit at a table that doesn't have key lime pie on it if you don't have to?'

Sometimes we don't know what we want until we don't get it.

Were they making the Kool-Aid in breathable form these days?

I thought of the past and how one should have respect for it, like the elderly.

I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.

Besides, a new decade is a chance to find oneself at the beginning of things. Oh, life! What a sweet little Etch A Sketch of time you are!

Sang's ass was not so much an ass but a continuation of leg and bone, covered by pockets because society demanded it be covered by pockets.

In every woman's wardrobe, there are certain accessories that cannot be separated from their back stories.

Americans love that, no? To think of jewelry as a dead thing. This is why you keep the Hope Diamond next to your dinosaur bones.

For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken.

The truth is, I wrote a novel when I was 23. It's hideously bad. Truly rotten.

The way the floors of the library became progressively less social as you worked your way up. The first floor was a meat market. The top was monkish.

Francine looked up and mouthed, "Thank you." "any titme," I lied.

And there's something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a Jennifer.

I don't do emoticons unless I'm making a big deal out of them. I'll type out, 'This is so amusing it makes me want to grin in pixels.' And then do it.

Out of all artists, authors are the least trained for the spotlight. Wanting attention isn't a requisite part of the package.

Yes. I am writing full-time. Which is strange. It feels like not having a job.

I love giving people advice on what to do with their books, but I don't really know how a Kindle Single gets covered.

I am the proud indentured servant of a brilliant art adviser who may or may not have purposely stapled my index finger to a manila folder

I had no idea that people thought Jews had horns. Where I came from, Jews had good grades and BMWs.

Hey there.' I cleared my throat. 'How are you?'
I'm engaged!'
Incidentally, this is an unacceptable answer to that question.

I was compiling a list in my head titled 'Reasons to Get Up: You Don't Have to Leave, but You Can't Pee Here.

The lies we construct to defend ourselves from humiliation are the strongest, refusing to be torn down.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

You just don't notice the time line of your own metamorphosis. Until you do.

The Darkness at Irving. Hope to have as much fun doing anything ever as these guys have on stage.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

I wouldn't want to live in Berlin. It's bombed out and there's a lot of techno.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

The last thing we wanted to do was offend you."
"The last thing you wanted was for me to take offense.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

It's remarkable the logic we'll build around a misapprehension.

The world I describe is about how people live now. It's not about zany people with unlimited, inexplicable funds in an apartment somewhere.

I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene.

I don't understand how you can be a decent writer and not know people.

The real proof that I have tried to love and that people have tried to love me back was never going to fit in a kitchen drawer.

I have a disproportionate amount of faith in the goodness of the world and that everything will actually work out okay.

It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep.

I can feel the tingling in my hand as if I've already slapped her, so right does it feel.

One day you turn and "social studies" has become "Chilean fiefdoms of the fourteenth century" and that's how you know you're in college.

I thought I'd had another few decades before my noise complaint years.

When you spin a globe and point to a city and actually go to that city, you build an allowance of missed opportunities on the back end.

Suburbia is too close to the country to have anything real to do and too close to the city to admit you have nothing real to do.

When you have a steady and lifelong group of girlfriends, chances are the person you're telling the story to is actually part of the story.

My A-number one visceral fear is speed. More than knives or snakes or confined spaces. Speed. I won't even go on a motor boat if I can help it.

A lot of people are lonely. A lot of people are lonely even when they're surrounded by other people.

It's never good to fall in love with someone whom you'd have to stab in the eyeballs to elicit a response.