Because when you're laughing, there is no other emotion in that moment except for joy.
I'm not ready to die. Period. To begin with, I cannot imagine a future without me in it. Can't do it. 
My mom told me when I was younger that when you jack off all of your dead relatives are watching. But then I figured who were they going to tell.
You know you're out of shape when you have a heart attack when you're watching television. 