You're Not Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about You're Not Funny
You're Not Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational You're Not Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
You're funny, which you can't be if you're not smart. Dad says it's harder to make someone laugh than it is to make them smile.
— Cath Crowley
It's funny the things you think you're scared of until they're upon you, and then you're not.
— Gayle Forman
You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!
— John Green
If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny.
— Sarah Silverman
You're not exactly up for the Humanitarian of the Year award, so save your altruism for someone who can't see through you like cellophane.
— Rebecca McNutt
'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!'
— Russell Howard
I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them.
— Sarah Silverman
- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word.
— Rudyard Kipling
You Cannot Live as I Have Lived and Not End Up Like This: The Thoroughly Disgraceful Life & Times of Willie Donaldson.
— Jay Nordlinger
You're not celibate, then?" I breathe. Amusement lights up his eyes.
"No, Anastasia, I'm not celibate. — E.L. James
Nix: We're not leaving without her. So unless you want permanent houseguests of the destructive sort, just hand her over.
— Kresley Cole
I'm tall and thin but not strong, so you're either an athlete or you're funny.
— Keegan-Michael Key
And what have you been up to? she asked.Oh, I don't know really, I said. Not much. Learning how to be a good loser. — Miriam Toews
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
You're going to be trouble, aren't you?""Not if you give me everything I want."
"We'll see. — Zoe Forward
You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings.
— Glen Hansard
You're chained up." A wince pulled at Safi's eyes. "I upset the Admiral." "Of course you did." "It's not funny.
— Susan Dennard
Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?
— W.C. Fields
You're not going to campus. You're going out to get drunk and play with other ladies' boobies. - Kye
— Krista Alasti
I used to go in for Disney auditions, and they'd tell me, 'You're cute and nice but just not funny.'
— Gattlin Griffith
You're not eating the cheese, Frank says accusingly. And you're fucking my mom, I want to say back.
— Lauren Barnholdt
I love the studio audience. That's where I feel the most at home. You know right away if you're being funny or not.
— Kaley Cuoco
Writing is a funny thing. It's not like you're working on a schedule. It comes in fits and starts.
— Daphne Guinness
When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.
— Joel Barnett, Baron Barnett
Secret 3963. It's only a sucking chest wound if you're not the shooter.
— The Covert Comic
Are you okay?" I (Cassie) call up to him."Um. Define okay." (Ben)
"Okay means you're not bleeding to death."
"I'm okay. — Rick Yancey
If you try to be funny, you're not being funny.
— John Gordon Sinclair
You're not funny and nobody likes you!
— CM Punk
I do think funny is like sexy. You're either funny and sexy, or you're not.
— Christine Baranski
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
— George Burns
Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.
— Jerry Seinfeld
What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows.
— John Green
To his orchestra Stop da music, stop da music! You're supposed to follow da music, not chase it all over da place.
— Jimmy Durante
Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor.
— Ellen DeGeneres
Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly.
— Doug Stanhope
He caught her staring and smiled-not a conceited I-work-out-and-have-a-great-body type smirk, but more of a I'm-a-boy; you're-a-girl; life is good.
— Cherise Sinclair
You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
— Jeff Foxworthy
Ambition is a funny thing. You can completely screw yourself with it if you're not careful.
— Simon Le Bon
You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.
— Zach Galifianakis
How did you not know they broke up? You usually monitor his social media like he's al-Qaeda and you're the CIA.
— Heather Cocks
You named the chicken, Chicken?" She looked embarrassed. "When we decided not to kill it, I got attached. — Tracey Garvis-Graves
To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong!
— Chad Michael Murray
Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny.
— Ilona Andrews
Not one word," Kel warned. "Tobe and I have reached an understanding." Neal's lips twitched. "Why do I feel you did most of the understanding. — Tamora Pierce
Eat your heart out. Oh, wait. You can't. It's not organic.
— Susan Elizabeth Phillips
You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.
— Noel Fielding
You win, you dirty evil butt-munch. I'll never not let you stay over again. Now let's go back to bed.
— Ethan Day
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
— Susan Sarandon
Are you . . . lost?" "Not really," she told him. "We just don't know where we're going. — Joel N. Ross
Sometimes we know people who aretoo wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan
You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet.
— Jules Barnard
You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you're smart, you'll end up as a comedian. If you're not, you'll end up as a clown.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
You must never imagine, that just because something is funny, it is not also dangerous.
— Neil Gaiman
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
You're not worried about being compromised, are you?" he asked. "Because I've already done that.
— Lisa Kleypas
If I were you, I'd go and do that. : VikalpThat's why you're not me! : Yatharth. — Shubham Choudhary
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding? ... Noooo ... as funny as that is, I'm not
— Ellen DeGeneres
If you can't laugh at yourself, maybe you're not funny
— Benny Bellamacina
Often it's not we who shape words, but the words we use that shape us." "You're a funny bookseller, you
— Nina George
You see, we're America the Beautiful, not "America Well At Least She Has A Great Personality".
— Stephen Colbert
So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not?
— K.A. Mitchell
You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie.
— Jim Gaffigan
Two fat ladies, 88! Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course ... they're altogether a higher class of fat lady.
— Steve Coogan
Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there.
— Carol Leifer
Back from where? you're not going out again and leaving me here are you?? Holy Hercules I sound like somebody's wife
— Ruth Downie
So, deadpan I think just means not acknowledging for one second that you think that this is funny and clever.
— Patrick Warburton
Funny thing how when you reach out, people tend to reach right back. Best, then, to make sure your hand is open and not fisted.
— Richelle E. Goodrich
The thing about being a screenwriter, scriptwriter, scenarist, You get to have multiple personalities and not be charged.
— Andrea L'Artiste
