I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
— Larry David
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once ... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
— Henny Youngman
It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.
— Robert Orben
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. — Erma Bombeck
I wanted Cathy and Irving to actually say 'I do' and be pronounced husband and wife on Feb. 5, which is my mom's birthday. — Cathy Guisewite
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. — Rodney Dangerfield
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. — E. Joseph Cossman
