Tom Lehrer Quotes: top 70 famous quotes about Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Tom Lehrer quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Think as you work, for in the final

Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: When you get to fifty-two food becomes more

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Some of you may have met mathematicians and

Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the

Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: If I can't get people to commit themselves

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I like Jon Stewart. He's not as obnoxious

I like Jon Stewart. He's not as obnoxious as Dennis Miller, whom I really can't stand. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say,

Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: If you asked me to write a rock

If you asked me to write a rock song or a rap song, I couldn't do it because they're not in my fingers. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: It is sobering to consider that when Mozart

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: It is a sobering thought that when Mozart

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I think the people who say we need

I think the people who say we need satire often mean, 'We need satire of them, not of us. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I know that there are people who do

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: We are the folk song army, every one

We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: And although I'm all for freedom of expression

And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Angels we have heard on High Tell us

Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Everything is so weird in politics that it's

Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I loved high school, but I wouldn't want

I loved high school, but I wouldn't want to do it again. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I ache for the touch of your lips

I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: You can't be satirical and not be offensive

You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I went from adolescence to senility, trying to

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Life is like a piano. What you get

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: There's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room

There's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now, two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: If a person feels he can't communicate, the

If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: The poor folks hate the rich folks, and

The poor folks hate the rich folks, and the rich folks hate the poor folks. All of my folks hate all of your folks, it's American as apple pie. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire

San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: The audience usually has to be with you,

The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: When you're in a public profession like I

When you're in a public profession like I was, and you stop doing it like I did, people think you're either crazy or dead. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Counting in octal is just likst counting in

Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal
if you don't use your thumbs. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I'm not interested in promoting myself or revealing

I'm not interested in promoting myself or revealing to total strangers anything about me. That's not my job. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I wish people who have trouble communicating would

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit.

Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Base eight is just like base ten really,

Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I feel that if a person has problems

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Step up and shake the hand Of someone

Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try! — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Don't drink the water and don't breathe the

Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air! — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: They love us everywhere we go. So when

They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Counting in octal is just like counting in

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your . — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I think that if people are having trouble

I think that if people are having trouble communicating with one
another, the least they can do is SHUT UP. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: People are stupider than anybody.

People are stupider than anybody. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things!

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things! — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

Bad weather always looks worse through a window. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I have always found it interesting ... that

I have always found it interesting ... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: You can raise welts like nobody else, as

You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Life is like a sewer - you get

Life is like a sewer - you get out of it what you put into it. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: An actress must never lose her ego -

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Be prepared, and be careful not to do

Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is

The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: When I was in college, there were certain

When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can't say 'girl.' — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I wasn't really a performer by temperament.

I wasn't really a performer by temperament. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: But in the new (math) approach, the important

But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: In one word he told me the secret

In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize; only be sure always to call it ... research. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Be it ever so decadent, there's no place

Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: For there is surely nothing more beautiful in

For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast! — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice.

Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: So long, Mom I'm off to drop the

So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: People would go anywhere to see a famous

People would go anywhere to see a famous person in the flesh, no matter what they do. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: In my youth there were words you couldn't

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.' — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide

If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Life is like a sewer: what you get

Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I don't have the temperament of a performer,

I don't have the temperament of a performer, and I certainly couldn't do it every night. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever

I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: The Lord's our shepherd, says the psalm. But

The Lord's our shepherd, says the psalm. But just in case, we better get a bomb. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Well, you ask a silly question, and you

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. — Tom Lehrer

Tom Lehrer Quotes By Tom Lehrer: Don't write naughty words on the wall if

Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell! — Tom Lehrer