Titus's Quotes
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Titus's Quotes & Sayings
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Assumptions can get you killed. --Titus Ray, Chapter 2
— Luana Ehrlich
Everyone's a racist. It's the one thing that makes us all the same.
— Christopher Titus
They all three threw up shields at the same time, Titus for Iolanthe, Iolanthe for Titus, and Lady Wintervale for them both.
— Sherry Thomas
I've never minded finding out what others thought I didn't know. Titus Ray, Chapter 3
— Luana Ehrlich
You don't get a rebate at the end of your life for living with an idiot.
— Christopher Titus
If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.
— Christopher Titus
For whatever changes and leaves its natural boundsis instant death of that which was before. — Titus Lucretius Carus
My mom shot and killed her last husband. Yeah, my dad used to say Hey, dodged that bullet. Ha ha.
— Christopher Titus
My dad's all I've ever had. When I was 3 and 4, my mom used to take me to bars. I understand why now - babysitters cost beer, beer and-a-half an hour.
— Christopher Titus
How do we help the church get their respect back? I have a plan: pedophile crucifixions.
— Christopher Titus
My daughter lived with my wife being ill since she was 2.
— Titus Welliver
Is it good? It ain't Shakespeare, but then, Shakespeare wrote Titus Andronicus, so you tell me.
— John Scalzi
My father was on the Alcoholics Anonymous wishlist. My mother was on ... parole. And lithium.
— Christopher Titus
I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.
— Christopher Titus
In my family, goodness is just badness before its had something to drink.
— Christopher Titus
Divorce is just about change, you know. It's God saying, You need a change. And I'm going to make it so your bank account only has change.
— Christopher Titus
Japan is the perfect example of make plans, and watch God laugh.
— Christopher Titus
To fear death, then, is foolish, since death is the final and complete annihilation of personal identity, the ultimate release from anxiety and pain.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
Pride is a great energizer for me. --Titus Ray, Chapter 1.
— Luana Ehrlich
Rather, there must be seeds, unseen, combined 895 in many ways and common to many things.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
Words pass through walls and slip past lock and key,and numbing cold seeps to our very bones. — Titus Lucretius Carus
Constant dripping hollows out a stone.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
A craft can only have meaning when it serves a spiritual way.
— Titus Burckhardt
If the world is the product of nothing but natural forces and natural law, divine intervention is impossible.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
Matter's basic elements are solid,Completely so, and that they fly through time
Invincible, indestructible for ever. — Titus Lucretius Carus
A really good uniformed cop has tremendous people skills, and they learn how to read people.
— Titus Welliver
Life is one long struggle in the dark.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!
— Christopher Titus
Texas is killing people in the 73rd trimester.
— Christopher Titus
If you ask my dad for help ... he'll help. Like a vulture helps an over-run armadillo on a Texas highway. One peck at the time.
— Christopher Titus
Pray to the devils; the gods have given us over.
— William Shakespeare
Sisters ruin everything. It's in their job description.
— Christopher Titus
Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
— Christopher Titus
Oh yeah, I'm mentally screwed up for life. But I look good.
— Christopher Titus
The issue of fracking is a stick in the hornet's nest.
— Titus Welliver
We don't have home movies in my family. We have people's exhibit A.
— Christopher Titus
Terrorists, oh I'm sorry, Fox News tells us it's all illegal immagration's fault but it's not their fault, it's ours.
— Christopher Titus
After President Obama, President Rodriguez ... What's the worse that can happen? The border problem gets solved and the White House lawn looks better?
— Christopher Titus
My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect.
— Christopher Titus
A black widow loves her mate then kills him. A praying mantis loves her mate then eats him. Women love my dad, but he's too big to eat.
— Christopher Titus
Martha Stewart's a convicted felon and they gave her another television show. What's next, the Scott Peterson Fishing Hour?
— Christopher Titus
Satan called - he's changed the sheets, fluffed the pillows and laid out the complimentary chocolate. Hell is ready for John Edwards.
— Christopher Titus
Consider Palin for President? The most powerful job on earth? You don't give the dumb cheerleader the Uzi. That's in the Bible.
— Christopher Titus
Whenever you're pissed off, just remember that it's better than being pissed on.
— Christopher Titus
Step up or step aside.
— Christopher Titus
The government favors the most diplomatic language. That's why any letter to them should always start with, "Dear turkeys and foul maggots ... "
— Christopher Titus
And so, through the blank of void, all things must fall at equal speed, though not of equal weight.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
I lost 28 pounds in my divorce ... because that's what a soul weighs.
— Christopher Titus
So far as it goes, a small thing may give analogy of great things, and show the tracks of knowledge.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
The most powerful person in your life is the one that knows all your secrets and all your lies.
— Christopher Titus
If you're a racist, right now, in 2011 ... You just look like a retard, man.
— Christopher Titus
A Titus Andronicus catalog of threats beat at the door. They haunt my nightmares still.
— David Mitchell
For me, the greatest hurdle to success has always been failure.
— Christopher Titus
If within wood hide flame and smoke and ash then wood consists of things unlike itself.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
Denial is a powerful weapon. My dad taught me mind over matter. No matter how hurt I got, he didn't mind.
— Christopher Titus
The United States ranks 14th in the world in education. Even if we subtract Sarah Palin's test scores, it only bumps us to third. Damn you, Finland!
— Christopher Titus
Truths kindle light for truths.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
Obama says he's bringing 10,000 troops home. The Republicans are calling it a failed jobs program.
— Christopher Titus
God bless America. But God, please help Canada.
— Christopher Titus
We're ready for a real black President - someone like Jay-Z. Obama's fine, just not all black. He's our gateway Negro.
— Christopher Titus
Man's greatest wealth is to live on a little with contented mind; for little is never lacking.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
Clint Eastwood doesn't moisturize! But Clint Eastwood needs to moisturize!
— Christopher Titus
Dad thinks vengeance is the coolest thing about the Lord. That, and turning water into alcohol.
— Christopher Titus
Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.
— Christopher Titus
They had a big court battle over who got to keep me. Mom won; she made me live with Dad.
— Christopher Titus
One of the fundamental conditions of happiness is to know that everything that one does has a meaning in eternity
— Titus Burckhardt
Do not borrow fear before its time' ~ Titus
— Kate Quinn
I definitely do not support a constitutional amendment that has to do with prohibiting gay marriage.
— Dina Titus
Sometimes, to help the people you love, you've gotta commit a felony.
— Christopher Titus
My random acts of violence weren't random. They were premeditated.
— Christopher Titus
I have a dream! Because I have lived a nightmare.
— Christopher Titus
Anyone look back at their high school career and just shudder at what you got away with and didn't die?
— Christopher Titus
Does anyone ever shudder with the crap that you pulled off and didn't die?
— Christopher Titus
The normal make a living. The deranged make history.
— Christopher Titus
Titus looks like Tyson when he strips off in the dressing-room, except he doesn't bite and has a great tackle.
— Bobby Robson
Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.
— Christopher Titus
Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family ...
— Christopher Titus
Lady, if you laugh and you don't make a noise, you're a shaker, and it's freaking me out.
— Christopher Titus
My first car was a 1977 Oldsmobile Delta 88. Ugly car. More ugly on this car than a Rolling Stones group photo.
— Christopher Titus
Titus Bramble: The only explanation for his existence in the Premiership is that he is already here.
— Pete Gill
It becomes an emperor to die standing.
— Titus Flavius Vespasian
Fighting Dad's not a fight. Fighting dad is, Hi, you've just instigated your own mugging! Come on down!
— Christopher Titus
The absolute ruler may be a Nero, but he is sometimes a Titus or Marc Aurelius; the people is often Nero, but never Marc Aurelius.
— Antoine Rivarol
The body of a dead enemy always smells sweet.
— Titus Flavius Vespasian
Nobody should ever doubt that in the washing of rebirth (Titus 3:5) absolutely all sins, from the least to the greatest, are altogether forgiven.
— Saint Augustine
The atoms in it must be used over and over again; thus the death of one thing becomes necessary for the birth of another.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
We're looking for answers in a landfill instead of looking to people who bring the light.
— Christopher Titus
Everyone should think for themselves. I learned that in a book I bought called 'Everyone Should Think For Themselves'.
— Christopher Titus
Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.
— Christopher Titus
A lie is a lie ... unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a commonly held belief.
— Christopher Titus
Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.
— Christopher Titus
Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.
— Christopher Titus
Burning fevers flee no swifter from your body if you toss under figured counterpanes and coverlets of crimson than if you must lie in rude homespun.
— Titus Lucretius Carus
Pope John Paul didn't die - he pre-boarded.
— Christopher Titus
Such heinous acts could superstition prompt.12
— Titus Lucretius Carus
Jealousy - the Auschwitz of emotions.
— Christopher Titus