Shandling Quotes
Collection of top 49 famous quotes about Shandling
Shandling Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Shandling quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me.
— Garry Shandling
I had no idea who I was when I started. I was frightened to death and had no natural performing skills.
— Garry Shandling
I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.
— Garry Shandling
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
— Garry Shandling
I am interested in how human beings react to crisis and conflict.
— Garry Shandling
I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.
— Garry Shandling
The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me.
— Garry Shandling
I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer.
— Garry Shandling
I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.
— Garry Shandling
I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity.
— Garry Shandling
In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.
— Garry Shandling
After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."
— Garry Shandling
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.
— Garry Shandling
Some people think the world will end in 2012. I think we've got until 2014. I'm an optimist.
— Garry Shandling
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
— Garry Shandling
My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.
— Garry Shandling
I've been on a state of high alert since high school. I didn't need 9/11 to remind me that we live on a ball of flame.
— Garry Shandling
I like to talk on the cell when I do interviews. That way, I double my chances of getting brain cancer: from the cell phone, and from the questions.
— Garry Shandling
I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
— Garry Shandling
I enjoy 'The Apprentice' and the one that's called 'Take My Life' and the other one called 'Stop Hitting Me.'
— Garry Shandling
They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.
— Garry Shandling
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
— Garry Shandling
Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.
— Garry Shandling
When I don't have a good time, it's usually because there's a stiffness that stifles creativity.
— Garry Shandling
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell
— Garry Shandling
First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.
— Garry Shandling
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
— Garry Shandling
I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.
— Garry Shandling
I've always felt that the truth is in the silence.
— Garry Shandling
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.
— Garry Shandling
I'd like to do more acting.
— Garry Shandling
I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.
— Garry Shandling
It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.
— Garry Shandling
Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.
— Garry Shandling
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
— Gary Shandling
Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.
— Garry Shandling
I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present.
— Garry Shandling
There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored.
— Garry Shandling
Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"
— Garry Shandling
Dogs are not people. Be leery of any woman who refers to her dogs as her 'kids,' because you'll only end up paying for their schooling.
— Garry Shandling
It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are the problem. Don't get me wrong. I think men have their problems just as much as women.
— Garry Shandling
