Sarcasm Humor Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Sarcasm Humor

Sarcasm Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Sarcasm Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I'm financially ugly. — Rea Lidde

I watched you undress. Shame on you! — Ljupka Cvetanova

It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'. — Cassandra Clare

Ah, Proph." Tom paused. "You did have a nightmare last night."
"And here I thought maybe I dreamed it," Prophet muttered sarcastically. — S.E. Jakes

While the man is putting on it's shoes, the woman can buy dozens of high heels. — Ljupka Cvetanova

I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point. — Jim Butcher

Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'. — Shannon Hale

You can give me detention. Oh, wait, that's right ... you aren't the boss of me. So I guess you can just bite me. -Dean — Jeff Mariotte

I almost short her once or twice, but the excitement ends there. — Becca Fitzpatrick

Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of A. indifference and B. disinterest in what the critics say. — Panic At The Disco

The key to humor is often self-loathing or sarcasm. In a sense, that's how self-loathing is made palatable. — James Gray

It's always a pleasure to see you," I told him, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Remember, red lights are for quitters. — Molly Harper

Because we don't really sparkle. — John G. Hartness

No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is ... beastly. — Victoria Scott

I'm fully aware that some of the stuff I write is going to offend people or p*ss them off. They should be fully aware that I don't really care. — Briana Blair

I thank Lord Brahma that your preference doesn't extend to a man being loyal to same woman for many lifetimes! — Amish Tripathi

it's a losing battle at this point,but so was the alamo — Mary Elizabeth Summer

I'm sorry I missed the meeting and hurt your little feely-weels okay? — Nenia Campbell

Your wit is always such a delight, Mr. Zeklos. I can barely contain myself around it. — Richelle Mead

I try to smile at her, but I can't extend my flexibility training to my mouth, it just won't move. — Steph Campbell

I'm very nice. I'm nice to everyone who deserves my niceness. -Emmy — Robin Benway

Who the hell is that?!
Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Weapons master is giving me special lessons." she (Amily) chuckled. " He calls then How Not To Get Killed lessons. — Mercedes Lackey

You couldn't find your dick in the dark, you scheming, sleaze-mongering scumwad. — Nenia Campbell

Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot. — Stephanie Perkins

There is a fine line between sarcasm and hostility, you seemed to have crossed it. What's up? — Cassandra Clare

When friends become overfriendly - smell fish! — Adhish Mazumder

You must be a blast on long car rides."
"Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic. — Nenia Campbell

I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible. — Jane Austen

You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss? — Nenia Campbell

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. — P.G. Wodehouse

Don't waste yer' breath kid. Explainin' anything to that one? It's like tryin' ta' slap the dumb off a retard ... -George Foster — Shawn Durnin

Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back. — Sandra Chami Kassis

You must have been going very fast."
"I was, until I hit the fence. — Anthony Horowitz

As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight. — Nenia Campbell

I know the power of speech. I don't talk much. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Forgive me, Your Grace. Are you suggesting a woman is some sort of ... piece of fruit to you? One squeeze, and you know if she's ripe? — Tessa Dare

Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'. — David C. Holley

Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads. — Lee Westwood

Cam's wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed.
"Holy Hell," Callie whispered, blinking.
"More or less," Arriane said — Lauren Kate

It was stealing her breath, imbecile. Go get a towel. -Christophe, Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow — Lilith Saintcrow

Without question, his picture did not do him justice, but again, he was dead when it was taken — Loren D. Estleman

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson

Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?"
"Is that including, or not including you? — Anthony Horowitz

There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden's brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload. — Courtney Kirchoff

Would somebody please tell him whose idea it had been to kill the entire state of Colorado? — Justin Cronin

They were all on his side. Hi boat sank. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others. — Gayle Forman

Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all." -Crash — Hazel Blackthorn

Hello, Mrs. Tran ... I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars I asked for. — Nenia Campbell

The standard clauses of the American dream only included two weeks of vacation a year. — Jeff Deck

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.'
'And yet it is still extremely funny. — Cecelia Ahern

A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers? — Cassandra Clare

The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelace's. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelace's again. Take it and enjoy the consequences. — Jonathan Stroud

Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life? — Nicki Elson

Son-- "We don't need ladders, we have obsidian, bro."

Mommy's thoughts-- "...............................
.......fucking minecraft — Mel Brown

Double Sword Tavern." Tristan said, reading out loud. "Sounds charming and inviting. — B.C. Morin

I guess we'll just sit around here and casually die, then. — Olivia Harvard

At least that left hope for him. Except "Beauty and the Geek" wasn't exactly the proper translation of the popular fairy tale. — Kelly Moran

Some sarcasm is best told simply. Some humor is best told big and some is best told small. — Kevin Hart

Give a hippie too much money and anything can happen. — Neil Young

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I think I would have more fun chopping thistles with a butter knife. — K. Martin Beckner

Uh, yeah - how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me. — Tahereh Mafi

You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too? — Rachel Caine

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. — Jess C. Scott

Come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire. Oberon — Kevin Hearne

It's okay to like jerks. I mean, it'd be better to like a nice guy, but there aren't any. — Daniel Handler

It's a Christmas miracle. I had no tree. Now I have a forest. — Richelle Mead

Are you sure that's Val?"
"No," said Freddie. "It's Lassie in a wolf suit. — Debra Doyle

Time for the likeliest story since Mary told Joseph it was God's. — Val McDermid

I've been surrounded by nitwits my entire life. — Chelsea Ballinger

I didn't intend it to come out sarcastically, but I guess that's just where my tone of voice automatically goes these days. — M.A. George

You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don't go nutty on me. — Nicki Elson

I'm not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car. — Nicki Elson

Have you tried talking to her?"
"No. We've been punching her in the face repeatedly. What? You don't think that will work? — Cassandra Clare

Though drowned was just as dead as any other way of dying. — Mercedes Lackey

My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas

Yeah, over my scattered panties, I asked him to dinner and told him to bring a friend. - Laney — Joann I. Martin Sowles

How does knowing 'things could be worse' than what I already deem awful make me feel any better? You mean I could sink even lower? Oh joy! — Richelle E. Goodrich

Whoosh! went the bluebird of sarcasm, zooming miles above Dale's head. — Sarah Rees Brennan

Aphorism, n. Predigested wisdom. — Ambrose Bierce

Life's a party. So smile and eat shit and pretend it's fucking caviar. — Nenia Campbell

We don't have dealings. He just stalks me. I'm popular like that. — Nenia Campbell

Coincidences are like unicorns.you can believe in them all you want,but that doesn't make them real — Mary Elizabeth Summer

Aww, did we masturbate through the tears last night? — Kresley Cole

What? You mean this crap shack isn't part of the Four Seasons. Shocking. — Ashley Elston

I'll only go if there's cake.

~Tobias "Four — Veronica Roth

We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting. — Nenia Campbell

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much! — Ljupka Cvetanova

Whatever doesn't kill them, makes them make reality TV shows ... — Glen Duncan

Worms have crawled up your nose and eaten your wits. — George R R Martin

Don't sound so surprised. I have sensible moments, you know. — Elizabeth Peters

The cops got out of the car and came straight towards me. My first thought was, How hypocritical ... They head straight for the kid all in black ... — Bella Shadow

Why is a man with a knife after your blood? Who sent him? I would like to write the fellow a letter of thanks! — Elizabeth Peters

She'd met Colin on a Monday.
She'd kissed him on a Friday.
Twelve years later.
She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic. — Julia Quinn

Think people really want to know what's out there?"
"Probably not. People don't know what they want, Evelyn, or life wouldn't suck — Lizzy Ford

Any boy who'd love a sailboat-patterned, swimsuited sausage who tames rabid foxes would be wonderful. And impossible. — Fanny Britt

Be the Chocolate

What if I want to be the bird who eats the Chocolate? — No One

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace — Cassandra Clare

If she hasn't learned to appreciate my sterling character and spectacular good looks by this time, it's not likely she will. — Elizabeth Peters