Santa Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Santa

Santa Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Santa quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo. — Emo Philips

Not everyone in Santa Monica is a well-heeled, juice-cleansing, Prius-driving yogini, but for better or worse, that is the city's dominant chord. — Meghan Daum

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. — Bob Phillips

You can't trick The Universe - it's like Santa Claus that way. — Tracy McMillan

I like the fact that people are surprised by my age. I like the fact that I get carded. — Cara Santa Maria

Being alone at night is scary sometimes. — Leo Santa Cruz

When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment. — Leonard Maltin

Gotta keep an eye on those terrorist polar bears, and make sure Santa's elves aren't planning a holy war. — Graham McNamee

Have you ever wanted to put on a Santa suit?"
"I have always wanted to do that," said Carter gravely. — Richelle Mead

I was once part of a Christmas cabaret. I sang 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.' I tap-danced. I had a ten-gallon hat. It was quite absurd. — Peter Dinklage

Money solves nothing but it eases everything. — Santa Montefiore

The only thing wrong with the U.S. economy is the failure of the Republican Party to play Santa Claus, — Jude Wanniski

This I've learned in life: If you don't believe in Santa Claus, he can't bring you any presents. — Siri Mitchell

She stared at the castle. She had actually been summoned to a castle. A week before Christmas. — Fern Michaels

Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware
he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier this year. — Tim Burton

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos. — Christopher Titus

Reading is one of the best ways to bond with your child. Bond this Christmas with "It's Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus — Soraya Diase Coffelt

For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling. — Doug Larson

A man of fifty looks as old as Santa Claus to a girl of twenty. — William Feather

I joined the board of the Santa Fe Institute. — Esther Dyson

I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted. — David Cross

Those North Korean hackers are at it again. Earlier today they leaked Santa's naughty list. — David Letterman

Why doesn't Santa just park the god-damn sleigh in the driveway like a normal guest? (Your Temporary Santa) — David Levithan

God? Nope." requel's smile told me she was joking around to make this easier for me "santa clause? No again. — Claudia Gray

I live in Santa Fe, New Mexico. And I travel a tremendous amount. I'm in New York and California a lot, but then also I like faraway places a lot. — Ali MacGraw

He would be billed, in short, as being something like Jesus Christ, Albert Einstein, Alexander the Great, and Santa Claus all rolled into one. Not — James Friend

Dear Santa, WTF... — Darynda Jones

What about Santa's cookies? I suppose 'parents' eat those, too? — Will Ferrell

It's like pretending to be Santa and then stabbing someone with a candy cane! — Ellery Adams

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear. — Jeff Kinney

Tilli stroked her Chihuahua. Max's heart made a sound like the sleigh bells on Mrs. Santa Claus's dildo. — Tom Robbins

So Santa Claus is bogus but Grim Reapers are the genuine article. What does that say about the world? — Mindee Arnett

Before you descend into the Underworld, you must go to Santa Monica. — Rick Riordan

Prayer is not adult letters written to Santa Claus, and God is not some parent-like figure up in the sky who's going to take care of us. — John Shelby Spong

When I walk up the piazza of Santa Croce I feel as if it were not a Florentine nor an European church but a church built by and for the human race. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are a few YouTube clips of me singing at The King's Head in Santa Monica, so you can see how bad I am. — Vinnie Jones

No one could tell me not to eat an entire cake - not my mom, not Santa, not God - no one. It was my cake and everyone else could go fuck themselves. — Allie Brosh

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. — Matt Groening

Santa can't die, he punish bad people. Behave well and you won't punished! — Deyth Banger

Because I am still a little girl who believes in Santa and the tooth fairy and you. — Laurie Halse Anderson

Who is not a love seeker when December comes? Even children pray to Santa Claus. — Rod McKuen

It's easy to look like Santa Claus when you don't have to buy the groceries. — Claire Cook

Santa was a fake. — Stephen Lawrence

With big folks, either people think you look mean or it's more of a jolly Santa Claus, 'Oh, he's just a pudgy little teddy bear pillow.' — The Notorious B.I.G.

An entire gullible nation believed faithfully in Santa Claus. But Santa Claus was really the Gasman. — Gunter Grass

I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year. — Jimmy Fallon

The awkward moment when Santa accidentally leaves the price tag on your present. — Eddy Sims

Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That's why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig. — Neil DeGrasse Tyson

The title of that great Christmas song was 'Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,' and no one ever heard of it. — Patti Page

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat. — H.L. Mencken

Mom says you have to believe in Santa if you want presents on Christmas. — C.K. Walker

Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man. — Patti Smith

I said that Santa no longer traffics in coal. Instead, if you're bad he comes to your house and steals things. — David Sedaris

What an idiot Santa is for flying around alone. Because who would want to travel the world without another person's heartbeat beside him? — Rachel Cohn

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. — Steven Wright

Grandmother's knee is a wonderful place to learn about the Bible, ghosts, and even Santa Claus, but a mighty poor place to learn about history. — L.B. Taylor Jr.

My dad founded the 'Rancho Santa Fe Times' and won a lot of journalism awards. — Chris Hillman

Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, and every year, a dad gets stuck and dies. — Kyle Dunnigan

So, Santa's gone gangsta? — S.J. Harper

I still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and true love. Don't even try to tell me different. — Dolly Parton

Like everyone in his right mind, I feared Santa Claus. — Annie Dillard

These days, NORAD's peak period of public visibility is at Christmastime when it tracks the course of Santa and his sleigh. — Ted Koppel

I don't like good kids being corrupted by bad ones, Santa never does".

The Santa Killer — Stuart Francis

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental. — Julia Sweeney

The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus. — Pat Boone

I felt like a kid at Santa Claus's funeral. — David Gerrold

I live in a cabin in Santa Cruz. — Nell Newman

He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing out-of-uniform Santa. — Augusten Burroughs

Besides, the mhis that surrounded the compound could scramble anything from GPS to Santa Claus. — J.R. Ward

We're not mad at God, just like atheists don't hate Santa or Unicorns, they're just not there! — Hemant Mehta

I feel warm and reassured," I whispered. "He's like Santa. — Maureen Johnson

God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time. — Bil Keane

Rumors that the sun is out at Santa Ynez are without foundation, the radio said. — John Brunner

One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts. — Dennis Franz

Maybe we should spend less time teaching kids to believe in Santa and more time teaching them to believe in themselves. — Brooke Hampton

I live in Santa Barbara. My wife's American, and she lived in England for 11 years and then told me she'd had enough. — Martin Gore

How about that one?"
"That fat thing?"
"Amber, it is a Christmas tree. It is supposed to be fat and jolly looking, like Santa Clause. — Sarah Holman

I know who I want to fight, but I don't pick my opponents; I leave it up to my team. They make those kinds of decisions. My job is to fight and win. — Leo Santa Cruz

Well, she'd been in shock. She could've believed just about anything. The Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, Santa... Yes, Virginia, men do let you down. — Melissa Tagg

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide. — Milton Berle

You better watch out.
You better not cry.
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why,
Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in your ass. — Craig Ferguson

Holy Santa Claus shit, Nic! — Kathryn Perez

God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups. — Oliver Markus

Can you imagine getting a gun for a secret Santa? That is especially not a good idea if you work in a post office. — Chelsea Handler

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! — Francis Pharcellus Church

Like Santa Claus. You adults pretend he doesn't exist, but we know that he really does. — Orson Scott Card

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins? — Rush Limbaugh

Kids believe in Santa; adults believe in childhood. — Cate Kennedy

I'm so glad I put a hot, naked guy on my Christmas wish list. I just didn't think Santa would actually deliver one. — Patricia W. Fischer

Look, at some point, people have to tell their kids that Santa Claus isn't real. I hate to be the guy to do it, but it's just not real. — Floyd Landis

Santa Claus is just a story," says Seth. "He's just the opening band to God. There is no Santa Claus. — Chuck Palahniuk

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. — Dick Gregory

What are you wearing?" She'd never done this before, but a mutual exchange of information seemed reasonable. "Santa suit. — Samanthe Beck

Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad. — Daniel Suarez

Jeez! I thought you said you were just gonna set up the tree? It looks like Santa shit Christmas in here! — Toni Aleo

When I go home to Santa Cruz, I'm the same girl as when I grew up. — Marisa Miller

Maybe he was the anti-Santa, of the South Pole, and he was going to show them where the elves made lumps of coal for Anti-Christmas. — Lev Grossman

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down. — Dana Gould

All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes. — Maud Lindsay

I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus. — Joe Nichols