Relationship Humor Quotes: top 80 famous quotes about Relationship Humor

Relationship Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Relationship Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I don't do relationships because I don't want to love and lose myself. — J.C. Reed

Part of being friends with someone is knowing when to speak your mind and when to shut the hell up. — Christine Pope

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.' — Adam Ferrara

There is nothing to me but you. I know it's pathetic but, oh darling, it's true. — F.K. Preston

Forgive me if I don't take relationship advice from a dead teenager missing her vagina. — Brian K. Vaughan

Try me, and you start LOVING!! — Nikhil Anubhav Minz

I didn't like his tone. In fact I didn't like boys' tone when they knew they were hot and tried to be rude to girls because they knew they were hot. — Luella Christie

Son of a bitch!" Hunter stared. "I fucking hate it
when he does shit like that. That man has a supernatural relationship with gravity. — Pamela Clare

Beaumont wanted Esmond very badly. Esmond wanted Beaumont's wife. And she didn't want anybody. — Loretta Chase

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up. — Carroll Bryant

All around us is a nothing that stretches on for infinity. We humans can barely comprehend that. If we comprehend it we are rarely pleased. — F.K. Preston

My therapist told me that I over-analyze everything. I explained to him that he only thinks this because of his unhappy relationship with his mother. — Michel Templet

There's no doubt that Dick and I were in a relationship. It was one completely contrary to anything one would consider normal. — Dan Skinner

You're going to be trouble, aren't you?"
"Not if you give me everything I want."
"We'll see. — Zoe Forward

If you want more development in your relationship, move to an urban area. — Bauvard

In every relationship one must sacrifice to show thy love. Are you willing to make sacrifices for someone you love? — Jonathan Anthony Burkett

Maybe I should put an ad online. Honor student seeks overly self-confident young man for fake relationship. Terms negotiable. — Chris Cannon

Sometimes, you have to shot block a friend's prayer because she's asking God to bless an obviously bad dating relationship. — Jonathon Acuff

At least if I
was picking guys up in fits of drunken idiocy, they were not only handsome, but also even mildly clever. — C.E. Murphy

Sex and humor are the heart and lungs of a good relationship — Rosamund Lupton

Face Book keeps asking me to complete my relationship status; I doubt it has the soul of a gossip magazine column's starving journalist. — Shahla Khan

It's complicated. He's not ... ' Human? 'He's playing hard to get. — Nicki Elson

In any perfect relationship men should remember it's a matter of direction; she takes what's right and you take what's left. — Solitaire Parke

A friend asks, "Tell me one word which is significant in any kinds of relationship." Another friend says, "LISTEN! — Santosh Kalwar

How am I supposed to believe you when you're obviously carrying a fake monogram Gucci Bag? — Madi Brown

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian, it would make life so much easier. I hear they're more than ninety-percent faithful. What a concept! — Nanci Rathbun

Why you wanna treat Mama like she ain't got sense? — Hunter Murphy

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket. — Nicole McKay

Jealousy is not a result of love. It is a result of crossed relationship boundaries. Love and relationships should not be confused. — Julieanne O'Connor

Marriage is a blast. Like a bomb. — Julieanne O'Connor

If this constant bitter disappointment was love, then I was perfectly fine not to have anything to do with it. — Vann Chow

I need a sample of your blood,' said Kira.
Marcus raised an eyebrow. 'I didn't know we'd reached that stage of our relationship. — Dan Wells

That's where your definition of attachment comes in. I'm in a monogamous relationship with two people. — Robert Downs

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. — Chelsea Handler

Hi honey, I'm home! Take your pants off! Wesley announced. He kissed my cheek as he passed me and put his lunch container in the sink. — J.M. Colail

Friendship is the grease of life. — Ogwo David Emenike

When you're dating someone, you need to have intercourse at least ten times before you start talking about The Future. — Mimi Strong

Poverty does not always prevent a rich person from dating someone who is poor, unless the man is the one who is poor. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it — Elle Kennedy

Stop looking for your better half! You need to be whole to attract your better whole, if you expect to have a flourishing relationship. — Valerie J. Lewis Coleman

You're all here. Mixed in a bit with some of my cells. May have to redefine our relationship after this. — J.T. Bock

You know what, Michael? I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship of loathing. — Meinos Kaen

Did I miss the part where we were in a relationship? — Isabella Carter

Try me, amd you will start LOVING! — Nikhil Anubhav Minz

You have built a human relationship on the foundation of asbestos. — Greg Sestero

A man wants too many things before marriage, but only peace after it. — Pawan Mishra

Irritatingly angry people have no sense of humor when wearing their "angry pants. — Cathy Burnham Martin

Divorce is not always a doorway to happiness. The same can be said about marriage. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Those two need each other like a bullet needs a target — Wendy Higgins

I keep dying and hoping you notice me. But you're too busy living. — F.K. Preston

My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas

Geoff's arm emanated with a solid warmth I longed for after our days aboard S.S.
British-Craphole. — Katherine McIntyre

If you feel that you can solve others problems, then please, work little more on your own problems and solve them first. — Honeya

To love is easy, to be in a relationship is extremely difficult. — Santosh Kalwar

I would say I couldn't be in a relationship without equality, generosity, integrity, spirit, kindness and humor. And awesomeness! — Jennifer Aniston

Humor in a relationship is so important. Many women will say that. Some say, 'If they can make you laugh, it's the sexiest thing on earth.' — Helen Mirren

Women want a lot of sex with the man they love; men want to have a lot of sex with a lot of different women. — Dermot Davis

Watch it, buster. There's only room for one sarcastic malcontent in this relationship. — Christine Warren

Sid and Nancy's relationship forever illustrates the worst part of being in love with anyone, which is that people in love can't be reasoned with. — Chuck Klosterman

Violence can read like poetry. You just have to describe the act as if you're in love with the way your characters bleed. — F.K. Preston

My creativity keeps me from starving. Humanity keeps my life mundane. Loving secures my love for life, but my imagination keeps me sane. — F.K. Preston

God didn't make Eve from Adam's rib. He took out half of Adam's brain by accident. — Shirley Jump

Like Mum and that bastard." "You mean Da?"
"Call him what you like. — G.A. Aiken

Pheromones didn't care about tomorrow. They didn't care about education or employment or age. — Tracy Brogan

Me and God have a great relationship, but we're both seeing other people. — Dolly Parton

Oh, Anya! Let's have an intense spiritual relationship for no believable reason! — Vera Brosgol

No Marriage Is Perfect. But every relationship has value! — Rashika Roberts

Most of a husband's life is spent in doing research on his wife. — Pawan Mishra

Actually, I wish you were a chef. Then I'd get something out of this relationship. — Wesley Chu

Don't discuss your relationship problems with friends. Your zombie problems are another story entirely. — Jesse Petersen

My father chose my name , and my last name was chosen by my ancestors . That's enough, I myself choose my way — Ali Shariati

I have a very dark sense of humor. I swear. I have a very playful relationship with Jesus. — Anne Lamott

I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the fact that my boyfriend was a pervert. He was lucky he was so cute. — J.M. Colail

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love. — Bill Cosby

If you love three people at the same time, choose the first one, because if there was a 4th or 5th one, you might still fall for them. — Emmanuel Aghado

I always have my own opinion before my boss says his. — Gerry Geek

All that is required of you is an open mind and a little patience. — F.K. Preston

Chemistry is great, but eventually your relationship moves out of the laboratory. — Tim Fargo

The more she turned right the more I turned wrong. — Mark W. Boyer

There is my first insight, young woman. Always downplay the value of money; it will make it easier for him to hand it over — Ivena When Heaven Weeps Ted Dekker