Quote Humor Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Quote Humor

Quote Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Quote Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid! — Fakeer Ishavardas

Prayer works (unless God has a different plan for you, that is different than what you want). Pray now. It works best if God is undecided. — Juanita Ray

What I learn today I shall know forever. Whether or not I remember that I know it is a different story. — Richelle E. Goodrich

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. — Robert Benchley

I don't have a hot date. I don't even have a lukewarm date. — Sarah Morgan

Just fuck me up.
A caffeine-addict placing an order with the barista. — Julie Johnson

While the man is putting on it's shoes, the woman can buy dozens of high heels. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Do you know how much damage we could do to each other in an hour? — David Bischoff

After a long moment, Laurent said, I'm going to need some help standing up. — C.S. Pacat

The sun doesn't live in England; it comes here on holiday when we're all at work. — Benny Bellamacina

Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of — Josh Stern

I believe it was Gayelord Hauser, the nutritionist, who said, 'You are what you eat,' but if you happen to be an intellectual, you are what you quote. — Joseph Epstein

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees. — Ryan Lilly

Given up, Khouri? It's not in my dictionary. — Alastair Reynolds

Peace cannot be achieved; they have to be plucked out of their pod. — A.G. Phillips

Quote: a banal proverb that is considered profound when uttered by a celebrity. — Bauvard

Nothing makes sense, not that much of the world ever did."
Quote from the book: "UnHoly Pursuit: The Devil on My Trail. — A. White

The truth is, I feel myself being fascinated and repelled by her: She's both a mirror of myself and a door to part of this island that I'm not. — Maggie Stiefvater

Who are you?' Gaia gasped.
The girl froze for a moment.
Looked at her. Smiled and said, 'Who am I? I'm the Breeze, bitch! — Michael Grant

Monthly, out of common courtesy, he went to inquire after the invalid Charles, who refused either to die or get better. — Winston Graham

I'm very much down to earth, just not this earth. — Karl Lagerfeld

Sam told me as we were hanging up our coats that Bob was "baked like a fucking
cake." I really had to quote that one even though it has a swear. — Stephen Chbosky

When you can't handle the heady concoction of wine and women, it's time to pack up your bags and quit. — Anurag Shourie

If your treated like a puppet find a new ball of string — Benny Bellamacina

Pride is a great energizer for me. --Titus Ray, Chapter 1. — Luana Ehrlich

I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote. — Steven Wright

Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards — Benny Bellamacina

Always think in circles to get your ideas around — Benny Bellamacina

You can quote me, but I'll tell everyone that you're lying. — Jael Turner

As Samson demonstrated, going bald ruins lives. — Brendan Jack

You're like an oceanic Lassie." My grin twitched on my face, threatening to tumble over into laughter again. — Katherine McIntyre

The irony of rule followers is they often quote a lot of people that do not follow as many rules as they do. — Shannon L. Alder

At a certain age almost all the questions a person asks him or herself are really just about one thing: how should you live your life? — Fredrik Backman

Never let anyone use your toothbrush or your pen. -Author Wllm Worth — Wllm Worth

We can't predict what's going to happen, but having love is worth the risk. — Nina Crespo

There is a great need for a sarcasm font. — Darynda Jones

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. — Carroll Bryant

Bloody ashes, woman. This isn't a metaphor for anything! It's just boots. — Robert Jordan

If you find yourself cutting corners, go in a circle instead — Benny Bellamacina

I surround myself with books when I write, thus surrounding myself with writers... only they don't critique me and then get up for coffee. — Ryan Lilly

You're only as old as you feel. — Lucy Ivison

Just remember, we're all in this alone. — Lily Tomlin

Hello, I am a quote,and you are reading me,because otherwise, how would you see that i just said all that stuff — Guy

No one plows the field just by thinking about it. — Ljupka Cvetanova

He was all over me like brown rice! — L'Poni Baldwin

He has his head in the clouds. He must live in a skyscraper. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Opposities are married. — Ljupka Cvetanova

I'm like a stray cat. If you feed me, I don't leave. — Michelle M. Pillow

I guess it's worth a shot. More than likely a wasted bullet, but I'll fire anyway. — Brandy Nacole

I don't eat food, I eat fat. — Bradley Wright

Pause while reading a book only in case of two things:
1. To kiss
2. To sip coffee
Too bad both are a luxury. — Saleem Sharma

Who's stupid now, Jimbo?! — April Henry

Just eat some chex mix and have a glass of milk and you'll be fine. — Caleb Eversole

Play and be happy. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Why would I draw the short straw? — Kresley Cole

It is a sign of immaturity to believe that being older than someone (automatically) makes you more (mentally) mature than them. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

His boat sank. They were all on his side. — Ljupka Cvetanova

A wise man once said NOTHING ... He just let her vent, nodded his head and live happily ever after! — Tanya Masse

I could say how well he dances, but that isn't true, for he dances like that big friendly bear I saw last Christmas. — Winston Graham

I just found out I have an IQ of 208, and I don't know what that means. — Steven Wright

I know the power of speech. I don't talk much. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Quote taken from Chapter 1:
The June afternoon had clear, blue skies - ideal weather for birdwatching. — Ed Lynskey

I mean, I can understand not being as pricey as Percy or Jason, maybe ... but am I worth, like, two Franks, or three Franks? — Rick Riordan

Avoid the stage of old age sit in the audience, it's all the rage — Benny Bellamacina

In my day, we got suspicious if 125k people followed us. — Eric Christopher Jackson

I'm considering writing a self-help book and giving people 20 cents to read it. This way, I can be sure they all get new paradigms. — Ryan Lilly

Fuck you!" "Right here?" He crossed his arms. "That definitely wouldn't help your getting over me. — Stacey Marie Brown

Ms. Bennett, do you know who I am? I am not accustomed to being spoken to in such a manner. — Jane Austen

Men weigh love with hands. — Ljupka Cvetanova

I know what ails you. — Tom Lucas

If Socrates was alive today he would say : I know that I know everything. That's what contemporary philosophers do. — Ljupka Cvetanova

In his life there was only one woman. The other one. — Ljupka Cvetanova

So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not? — K.A. Mitchell

Be careful what you tell me. You could end up in my next novel. — P.C. Zick

Why would you come to Italy to see Spanish steps? That's like going to China for Mexican food, isn't it? — Rick Riordan

Treasure the beauty of youthful life and the wisdom of adulthood. — Lailah Gifty Akita

To be reborned many times over, you must unleash the power of inertia. But must you go out every time and reach for your highest potential? — C.C. Wyatt

Searching through Monster while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married. — Crystal Woods

Humor is the honey in my tea. — Marcia Sirota

We all know I'm marrying you, as soon as you get over your thing with dog tags and realize a stethoscope is way sexier, anyway. - Tanner — Kandi Steiner

This quote will self-destruct in ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Just kidding ... Or am I? — Craig Benzine

It sounded somewhat doom-laden, so I felt obliged to look it up more thoroughly, in case I should eat some chocolate rather quickly. — Carol Anne Dobson

A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Love is worth dying for, said the spermatozoid. — Ljupka Cvetanova

I opened my eyes to find a fuzzy face staring into mine. I laughed and scratched Boomer's head. "Your dog is a pervert, he watched the whole thing. — E.M. Denning

Don't fucking quote me! — Roni Batti Kajou

I quote others only in order the better to express myself. — Michel De Montaigne

My favorite quote in the world is this one. — Richelle E. Goodrich

Though you can live for as much as you like, but your longevity is stupidity if you were leading a worthless life. — Michael Bassey Johnson

Time and Tide wait for no Man; what about woman ? How Sexist ! — Gaurav Rao

I'll take risk on what I do on my life . Just mind your own business . — Azlnrdzi

I've never quite understood why the knuckleheads of the planet so outnumber the rest of us. — Duane Hewitt

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much! — Ljupka Cvetanova

There is a perfect marriage. Any marriage counselor can tell you that. — Ljupka Cvetanova

You put cow dung on my face?' 'Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is so clear? — Renita D'Silva

What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone's orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away. — Anne Carson

Our parents would not be 'The best parents in the world' (to us) if they were not our parents. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Did you just seriously quote Grease? I think I'm gonna have to revoke your man card. — Elizabeth Sharp

Want wisdom? Laugh at yourself. — Maggie Bishop