Quote Humor Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Quote Humor
Quote Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Quote Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid!
— Fakeer Ishavardas
What I learn today I shall know forever. Whether or not I remember that I know it is a different story.
— Richelle E. Goodrich
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
— Robert Benchley
I don't have a hot date. I don't even have a lukewarm date.
— Sarah Morgan
Do you know how much damage we could do to each other in an hour?
— David Bischoff
The sun doesn't live in England; it comes here on holiday when we're all at work.
— Benny Bellamacina
I believe it was Gayelord Hauser, the nutritionist, who said, 'You are what you eat,' but if you happen to be an intellectual, you are what you quote.
— Joseph Epstein
Given up, Khouri? It's not in my dictionary.
— Alastair Reynolds
The truth is, I feel myself being fascinated and repelled by her: She's both a mirror of myself and a door to part of this island that I'm not.
— Maggie Stiefvater
Who are you?' Gaia gasped.The girl froze for a moment.
Looked at her. Smiled and said, 'Who am I? I'm the Breeze, bitch! — Michael Grant
Monthly, out of common courtesy, he went to inquire after the invalid Charles, who refused either to die or get better.
— Winston Graham
I'm very much down to earth, just not this earth.
— Karl Lagerfeld
Sam told me as we were hanging up our coats that Bob was "baked like a fucking cake." I really had to quote that one even though it has a swear. — Stephen Chbosky
When you can't handle the heady concoction of wine and women, it's time to pack up your bags and quit.
— Anurag Shourie
If your treated like a puppet find a new ball of string
— Benny Bellamacina
Pride is a great energizer for me. --Titus Ray, Chapter 1.
— Luana Ehrlich
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.
— Steven Wright
Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards
— Benny Bellamacina
Always think in circles to get your ideas around
— Benny Bellamacina
As Samson demonstrated, going bald ruins lives.
— Brendan Jack
You're like an oceanic Lassie." My grin twitched on my face, threatening to tumble over into laughter again.
— Katherine McIntyre
The irony of rule followers is they often quote a lot of people that do not follow as many rules as they do.
— Shannon L. Alder
At a certain age almost all the questions a person asks him or herself are really just about one thing: how should you live your life?
— Fredrik Backman
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
— Darynda Jones
What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer.
— Carroll Bryant
If you find yourself cutting corners, go in a circle instead
— Benny Bellamacina
You're only as old as you feel.
— Lucy Ivison
Just remember, we're all in this alone.
— Lily Tomlin
No one plows the field just by thinking about it.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
He was all over me like brown rice!
— L'Poni Baldwin
He has his head in the clouds. He must live in a skyscraper.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Opposities are married.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
I'm like a stray cat. If you feed me, I don't leave.
— Michelle M. Pillow
I don't eat food, I eat fat.
— Bradley Wright
Pause while reading a book only in case of two things:1. To kiss
2. To sip coffee
Too bad both are a luxury. — Saleem Sharma
Who's stupid now, Jimbo?!
— April Henry
Just eat some chex mix and have a glass of milk and you'll be fine.
— Caleb Eversole
Play and be happy.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
Why would I draw the short straw?
— Kresley Cole
It is a sign of immaturity to believe that being older than someone (automatically) makes you more (mentally) mature than them.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
His boat sank. They were all on his side.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
A wise man once said NOTHING ... He just let her vent, nodded his head and live happily ever after!
— Tanya Masse
I could say how well he dances, but that isn't true, for he dances like that big friendly bear I saw last Christmas.
— Winston Graham
I know the power of speech. I don't talk much.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Quote taken from Chapter 1:The June afternoon had clear, blue skies - ideal weather for birdwatching. — Ed Lynskey
I mean, I can understand not being as pricey as Percy or Jason, maybe ... but am I worth, like, two Franks, or three Franks?
— Rick Riordan
Avoid the stage of old age sit in the audience, it's all the rage
— Benny Bellamacina
In my day, we got suspicious if 125k people followed us.
— Eric Christopher Jackson
Fuck you!" "Right here?" He crossed his arms. "That definitely wouldn't help your getting over me.
— Stacey Marie Brown
Ms. Bennett, do you know who I am? I am not accustomed to being spoken to in such a manner.
— Jane Austen
Men weigh love with hands.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
I know what ails you.
— Tom Lucas
If Socrates was alive today he would say : I know that I know everything. That's what contemporary philosophers do.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
In his life there was only one woman. The other one.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not?
— K.A. Mitchell
Why would you come to Italy to see Spanish steps? That's like going to China for Mexican food, isn't it?
— Rick Riordan
Treasure the beauty of youthful life and the wisdom of adulthood.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
Searching through Monster while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married.
— Crystal Woods
Humor is the honey in my tea.
— Marcia Sirota
We all know I'm marrying you, as soon as you get over your thing with dog tags and realize a stethoscope is way sexier, anyway. - Tanner
— Kandi Steiner
This quote will self-destruct in ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Just kidding ... Or am I?
— Craig Benzine
It sounded somewhat doom-laden, so I felt obliged to look it up more thoroughly, in case I should eat some chocolate rather quickly.
— Carol Anne Dobson
A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Love is worth dying for, said the spermatozoid.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Don't fucking quote me!
— Roni Batti Kajou
I quote others only in order the better to express myself.
— Michel De Montaigne
My favorite quote in the world is this one.
— Richelle E. Goodrich
Though you can live for as much as you like, but your longevity is stupidity if you were leading a worthless life.
— Michael Bassey Johnson
I've never quite understood why the knuckleheads of the planet so outnumber the rest of us.
— Duane Hewitt
He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much!
— Ljupka Cvetanova
There is a perfect marriage. Any marriage counselor can tell you that.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
You put cow dung on my face?' 'Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is so clear?
— Renita D'Silva
Our parents would not be 'The best parents in the world' (to us) if they were not our parents.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Did you just seriously quote Grease? I think I'm gonna have to revoke your man card.
— Elizabeth Sharp
Want wisdom? Laugh at yourself.
— Maggie Bishop