Political Humor Quotes

Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious - I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well. — George W. Bush

You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog! — Harry Truman

Politics is the only art whose artists regularly disown their masterpieces. — Raheel Farooq

Square school pizza disproves socialism more than any political argument ever did. — Richard Raley

Please don't kill me! — George W. Bush

The senator has got to understand if he's going to have - he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road. — George W. Bush

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. — Mary Louise Cecilia "Texas" Guinan

I want you to know that farmers are not going to be secondary thoughts to a Bush administration. They will be in the forethought of our thinking. — George W. Bush

Political correctness is modern day censorship. This still doesn't justify you in being a douchebag. — Kevin Focke

Dubya! What in Tarnation!? Why, I'll tan yer hide fer this!So, what's sex like after fifty, anyway? — George W. Bush

The president has kept all the promises he intended to keep. — George Stephanopoulos

If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it. — Stephen Colbert

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem. — Douglas Adams

Recession, terrorism, debts, political turmoil, disease, famine, mortality... screw it, I'm putting googly eyes on things. — Charles R.L. Guthrie

I like the pooch. When I've had a dog's snout in my mouth, we tend to develop a special bond. — Randy Quarles

I am mindful that we're all sinners ... — George W. Bush

Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis. — George W. Bush

I haven't had a chance to talk, but I'm confident we'll get a bill that I can live with if we don't. — George W. Bush

There are fears that Britain could be facing a double-dip recession, or worse still, a double-dip with misery sprinkles and fuck-where's-my-job-sauce. — Frankie Boyle

If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all. — George W. Bush

The suicide bombings have increased. There's too many of them. — George W. Bush

I would have my secretary of treasury be in touch with the financial centers, not only here but at home. — George W. Bush

It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then. — George W. Bush

One good thing about being an immigrant in the US, no one cares about my sociopolitical opinion. I exist like a bland wallpaper to all races. — Fidelis O. Mkparu

I'm struggling to keep up with her pace. Though I'm taller, she's built for speed and I'm built for political activism. — Jani Berghuis

You have to have a sense of humor if you follow politics. Otherwise, the sheer fraudulence of it all will get you down. — Thomas Sowell

It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term. — George W. Bush

It's my first trip as president of the United States. — George W. Bush

This is what I'm good at. I like meeting people, my fellow citizens, I like interfacing with them. — George W. Bush

The days of discriminating against religious institutions simply because they are religious must come to an end. — George W. Bush

I read the newspaper. — George W. Bush

I also have picked a secretary for Housing and Human Development. Mel Martinez from the state of Florida. — George W. Bush

There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me. — George W. Bush

Our politicians always show lame excuse to defend their cripple decisions. — Munia Khan

You subscribe politics to it. I subscribe freedom to it. — George W. Bush

It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea. — Robert Anton Wilson

What's a political?"
"Like a spy, but on your own side," said Maladict — Terry Pratchett

The point is, this is a way to help inoculate me about what has come and is coming. — George W. Bush

It's going to require numerous IRA agents. — George W. Bush

You can't believe that AIDS is a curse from God against Gays without accepting that Lyme Disease is a curse from the same God against Deer Hunters ... — T. Rafael Cimino

Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment. — George W. Bush

INDECISION NOW!' isn't a battle cry that's going to rouse anybody's blood. But I sometimes wonder if it isn't the sanest one. — Phillip Andrew Bennett Low

Presidents, whether things are good or bad, get the blame. I understand that. — George W. Bush

There is nothing worse than certainty. Doubt makes us weak. That is why it's so important. I've wasted too much of my life trying to be powerful. — Phillip Andrew Bennett Low

They have miscalculated me as a leader. — George W. Bush

You can't understand Twenty-first-Century Politics with an Eighteenth-Century Brain. — George Lakoff

We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program. — George W. Bush

Governor Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure. — George W. Bush

Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads. — George W. Bush

Had to pee like a racehorse at an Iced Tea convention. — Stephen Colbert

Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it. — Robert Orben

A comedian is better than a politician; at least there is no doubt. — Bangambiki Habyarimana

The only working model of socialism I have ever seen is in an elementary school classroom. — R.M. ArceJaeger

I expect you to work hard on our agenda. — George W. Bush

These demands are not open to negotiation or discussion. — George W. Bush

I Have Fought the Good Fight and Won — Carmen J. Viglucci

That's Washington. That's the place where you find people getting ready to jump out of the foxholes before the first shot is fired. — George W. Bush

Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles. — Bauvard

Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all. — Jasper Fforde

Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be open. — George W. Bush

I would rather write a book without a title if my true friend chooses to live in a million dollar home in London and acts foreign. — Duop Chak Wuol

We do not prescribe any prayer; we welcome all prayer. — George W. Bush

How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through? — George W. Bush

What good is it to be rich if we canna scrape up the scratch to buy a political prisoner on a whim? — Kresley Cole

You might want to comment on that, Honorable. — George W. Bush

We say to seniors, we understand how important prescription drug coverage, so prescription drugs will be an ingrinable part of the Medicare plan. — George W. Bush

I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember. — George W. Bush

There's been shock waves sent throughout all parts of the nation's economic fabric. — George W. Bush

Whatever it took to help Taiwan defend theirself. — George W. Bush

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that. — Don Rickles

Brains were no good to a working man; they only made him discontented and saucy and lose his jobs. She'd seen it happen again and again. — Flora Thompson

Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person. — George W. Bush

This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases. — George W. Bush

Democracy is a poor system; the only thing that can be said for it is that it's eight times as good as any other method. — Robert A. Heinlein

If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders. — George W. Bush

I don't see how we can allow public dollars to fund programs where spite and hate is the core of the message. Louis Farrakhan preaches hate. — George W. Bush

Our priorities is our faith. — George W. Bush

The problem with all politicians is that they are human. — Steven Ivy Attorney Entrepreneur

About 14 percent of our nation's civilian workforce is foreign-born. — George W. Bush

I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans. — George W. Bush

The fact that he relies on facts - says things that are not factual - are going to undermine his campaign. — George W. Bush

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents. — George W. Bush

I understand religion is a walk, it's a journey. And I fully recognize that I'm a sinner, just like you. — George W. Bush

Down the road, I'll probably have a kid or two or three. And there will probably be political events or spiritual things to comment on, and humor. — Alanis Morissette

I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified. — George W. Bush

There's a way you political folks have of coming round and round a plain right thing — Harriet Beecher Stowe

If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it. — George W. Bush

She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal - Antonio. — George W. Bush

Kosovians can move back in. — George W. Bush

I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know. — George W. Bush

As young Americans, you have an important responsibility, which is to become good citizens. — George W. Bush

I confirmed to the prime minister that we appreciate our friendship. — George W. Bush

The woman who knew that I had dyslexia - I never interviewed her. — George W. Bush

You know, if you find a person that you've never seen before getting in a crop-duster that doesn't belong to you, report it. — George W. Bush

Kids, don't trust any radical under twenty-five. His cock tends to get in the way of his political vision — Juan Antonio Butler