Pet Humor Quotes: top 34 famous quotes about Pet Humor

Pet Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Pet Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes. — Noel Fielding

What I knew for sure was that he had a quick temper, a cocky attitude, and a southern accent ... Apparently he also has a pet cougar. — Stacy Mantle

Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop? — Henny Youngman

Prayer is a recognition of the greatness of our God. — Timothy Keller

This is the story of how I "came down with cat," even though I had decided I would never, ever, own any pet. — Nils Uddenberg

My sister wanted a cat for a pet ... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark. — Chic Murray

Wow. Who would want a fish for a pet when they could have a turtle?! — Christopher Paul Curtis

Conscience is like a pet: If you spoil it by too much attention it'll start yipping at the most inopportune times. — Connie Brockway

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is." — Tim Vine

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense. — Christopher Moore

I sheep's idea of bravery : To become a wolf's pet. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Wasn't allowed to have pets. I killed my pet cockroach when it crawled into my ear. — Katherine McIntyre

I love these pet names," she said, gazing soulfully up into his eyes, "Nitwit. Sap skull. Termagant. How they make my heart flutter! — Loretta Chase

You'll have to be my conscience." He knew his flaws, and he knew the parts of him that were irrevocably broken. "Mine isn't going to grow back. — Nalini Singh

Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good. — Zach Braff

I had to prove myself to a lot of different people. — Gerard Butler

Okay, go hang up your kitty pictures and pet your car. — Abigail Roux

A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot! — Henny Youngman

Leif stared at me, utterly still, the way only vampires and pet rocks can manage. — Kevin Hearne

Pet peeves should be kept on a leash. — Daniel Thompson

Whoever controls work and wages, controls morals. — Susan B. Anthony

You absolutely don't know what's going to happen next - that's surrender. — Art Hochberg

Did he eat the other cats at the pet shop? He's huge! — Yori

A well-tied tie is the first serious step in life. — Oscar Wilde

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it. — Amy Sedaris

He's not a pet. He's an accident victim. — H.M. Ward

Hell's bells. I don't call him the Fist of God as a pet name, folks. — Jim Butcher

Dog enough not to be human, human enough to be a pet — Rosemary J. Kind

Out of the soil of humility grow blessings and honor. — Matshona Dhliwayo

I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars. — Steven Wright

That was pretty easy, and I wrote it while delousing my pet tapir. — Greg Gutfeld

Education is as much about learning what you don't know as it is about adding to what you do. — David McRaney

A young man who isn't a socialist hasn't got a heart; an old man who is a socialist hasn't got a head. — David Lloyd George

Tanaquil gently toed the peeve. "I'll unfasten the window. Jump out to the lower roof and run."
"Stay and bite," said the peeve. — Tanith Lee