Parenting Humor Quotes
Collection of top 41 famous quotes about Parenting Humor
Parenting Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Parenting Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
— Bill Cosby
Jokes about butts WORKED.
— Drew Magary
He was afraid to pick up the baby. If he touched it, it might bond with him or something. Or he might leave fingerprints all over it.
— Judith Arnold
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
— Bill Cosby
Adoption is the most intentional process on Earth.
— Jody Cantrell Dyer
Remember how we put stickers with your name on your pocessions that could be stolen.We didn't put a sticker on your innocence so don't lose it!
— Candace Allan
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
— Jim Gaffigan
But it's a child! You're a man!""Your powers of observation are formidable," said Charles. "You are a credit to your optician. — Katherine Rundell
This is why we can't have nice things...
— Madge Madigan
Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.
— Scott Dikkers
We're gonna do like Posh and Becks and call it after the place it was conceived.""Where's that?" I asked.
"King of Prussia. — Henry G. Radcliff
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
— Dorothy Parker
And have your mother put my head on a stake? Do you have any notion what that would do to my handsome good looks?
— Catherine Gilbert Murdock
Take care of the elderly people.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.
— Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
— Phyllis Diller
Our parents would not be 'The best parents in the world' (to us) if they were not our parents.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If I hear any more loud voices, you will both be auctioned off on eBay. I could use the extra money.
— J.R. Rain
Too much alcohol hampers people's ability to parent. That's why I've chosen to remain childless.
— Kyra Davis
Parenting fucked you up.
— Abigail Barnette
Education is the best gift my parent gave me.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
— Jim Gaffigan
For me, adoption was grief in reverse.
— Jody Cantrell Dyer
Momma always said when Randy got an idea in his head it was more likely to come attached to a foot in his ass than a check in the bank.
— Joe Schwartz
Isn't it wonderful to give birth to your own kind?
— Lailah Gifty Akita
Like I tell our kids, 'Your Mom isn't always right and I'm not always right. But together, WE'RE ALWAYS right!
— J. Thomas Steele
In that day, we didn't have no remote controls and vacuum cleaners. If you wanted all that stuff you had children!
— Tyler Perry
Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt.
— S.K. Tremayne
My need to parent is so much bigger, sometimes, than my children's need for parenting.
— Margot Page
