Oswalt Quotes
Collection of top 83 famous quotes about Oswalt
Oswalt Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Oswalt quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes.
— Patton Oswalt
I don't like to be the guy that stands out. I like kind of sneaking up on guys instead of being out front.
— Roy Oswalt
Does anyone act more like an overserious senior citizen with time running out on their chance for immortality than someone in their twenties?
— Patton Oswalt
It's the method of consumption, not what's on the plate.
— Patton Oswalt
I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act.
— Patton Oswalt
I'm a sucker for Thought Catalog. Shelby Fero is really funny on Twitter. And Patton Oswalt, he's sort of like a Twitter throb.
— Addison Timlin
There's something kind of beautiful about that pure love of things. Like, "I'll show that I love the thing I love by hating everything else."
— Patton Oswalt
Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
— Patton Oswalt
I'm so beyond genre, drama, comedies, I just want to do really good, interesting projects.
— Patton Oswalt
This is a dozer you can do anything with.
— Roy Oswalt
Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you're not being a slave to your possessions.
— Patton Oswalt
I have a very tiny house in Burbank. I drive an 8-year-old car. I'm gonna drive it into the ground. I enjoy what I enjoy.
— Patton Oswalt
I hate all sidekicks.
— Patton Oswalt
George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
— Patton Oswalt
I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.
— Patton Oswalt
The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing.
— Patton Oswalt
I've gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports.
— Patton Oswalt
If Kevin James or Paul Giamatti drop weight, I'm done. I don't want to be the last pudge out there.
— Patton Oswalt
Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes.
— Patton Oswalt
I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see.
— Patton Oswalt
When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.
— Patton Oswalt
Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.
— Patton Oswalt
Comedy and terror and autobiography and comics and literature-they're all the same thing. To me.
— Patton Oswalt
Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
— Patton Oswalt
If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
— Patton Oswalt
I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong.
— Patton Oswalt
I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted.
— Patton Oswalt
Any comedian who tells you how dark and dangerous they are, they're not dark and dangerous.
— Patton Oswalt
If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness.
— Patton Oswalt
Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things.
— Patton Oswalt
I've been in the same place for 10 years and having to say goodbye and clean out the locker is the toughest part.
— Roy Oswalt
To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.
— Patton Oswalt
Roy Oswalt is a drop and drive pitcher. What is a drop and drive pitcher? He is a guy who drops and drives. Very simple.
— Tim McCarver
I like a challenge. I always have.
— Roy Oswalt
It doesn't matter who's in the box. You go after them and get them out the best way you can.
— Roy Oswalt
Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.
— Patton Oswalt
I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over.
— Patton Oswalt
As much as I know people love the method and what you can draw out of yourself, a lot of acting is very imaginative.
— Patton Oswalt
I've always been a guy who likes big games.
— Roy Oswalt
I always heard that I was too small.
— Roy Oswalt
On any given night, I can throw a shutout.
— Roy Oswalt
Even if it's other people, like on MySpace pages, we're just as collective of enthusiasts now. That seems to be the world we're in.
— Patton Oswalt
Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I'll always go back to it. I'll never stop doing it, that's for sure.
— Patton Oswalt
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
— Patton Oswalt
You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.
— Patton Oswalt
I never said that movies were struggling behind TV. I'm just saying that movies have a better creative cache.
— Patton Oswalt
90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.
— Patton Oswalt
He smelled like carpeting, Scotch tape, and steak sauce.
— Patton Oswalt
Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.
— Patton Oswalt
I'm not familiar with the metric system.
— Patton Oswalt
I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.
— Patton Oswalt
Every time I go out there I expect to win.
— Roy Oswalt
People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.
— Patton Oswalt
Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors.
— Patton Oswalt
![Oswalt Quotes By Patton Oswalt: I identify [myself] as a stand-up first. Even](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/oswalt-quotes-by-patton-oswalt-1024492.jpg "Oswalt Quotes By Patton Oswalt: I identify [myself] as a stand-up first. Even")
I identify [myself] as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.
— Patton Oswalt
The man is clear in his mind. But his soul is mad.
— Patton Oswalt
The great ones show you what you can get away with. The shitty ones remind you what never to bother with.
— Patton Oswalt
Hobos' (a slang term that combines the words 'hope' and 'bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who then initiated intercourse')
— Patton Oswalt
Guys think I'm staring them down, but they watch ME for signs. Why can't I do the same to them?
— Roy Oswalt
I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.
— Patton Oswalt
