No Girlfriend Funny Quotes

Collection of top 30 famous quotes about No Girlfriend Funny

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No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By John Green: You will not kill my girlfriend today, International You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality! John Green
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Daniel Tosh: You know your girlfriend is too young when You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary. Daniel Tosh
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Kristen Schaal: Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well ... she's got eyes. Kristen Schaal
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Dave Attell: I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend. Dave Attell
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Linda Kozlowski: After 'Crocodile Dundee,' I turned down lots of After 'Crocodile Dundee,' I turned down lots of stuff, most of it where I'd play the girlfriend of some funny man. — Linda Kozlowski
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Bo Burnham: I'm a stand up comic and I always I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch. — Bo Burnham
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Steve Coogan: I'm 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years I'm 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net! — Steve Coogan
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Steven Wright: I'd like to sing you a song now I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring." — Steven Wright
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Susan Mallery: To the stupidity of men, " Dakota said, To the stupidity of men, " Dakota said, raising a glass. "And my brother, who is their king. — Susan Mallery
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Daniel Tosh: I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she's in the shower. — Daniel Tosh
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Moby: That is not all I need. I need That is not all I need. I need dogs. A house filled with dogs and a smart, funny, kind, loving girlfriend or wife. — Moby
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I've never been to a hotel with a I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito. — Mitch Hedberg
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By M.F. Moonzajer: We all men want a bad girl friend, We all men want a bad girl friend, but a good wife. — M.F. Moonzajer
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Erin McCahan: Are there days when you find life terribly Are there days when you find life terribly confusing?

Only when I have a girlfriend. — Erin McCahan
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Billy Connolly: A mate of mine has just told me A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!" — Billy Connolly
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Eugene Ormandy: Think of your girlfriend or boyfriend or whomever Think of your girlfriend or boyfriend or whomever you want to. — Eugene Ormandy
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Frankie Boyle: I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day ... Chlamydia. — Frankie Boyle
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield: And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone! — Rodney Dangerfield
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield: During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. — Rodney Dangerfield
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Adam Ferrara: My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice. — Adam Ferrara
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Stacey Wallace Benefiel: Dude, could you please get off my girlfriend Dude, could you please get off my girlfriend before I beat the crap out of you ? I don't want to injure her. — Stacey Wallace Benefiel
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Simone Elkeles: Cause if you were my girlfriend and a Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder. — Simone Elkeles
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen. My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen. — Mitch Hedberg
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Aristotle.: Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed. — Aristotle.
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Robbie Amell: My girlfriend doesn't think I'm funny at all. My girlfriend doesn't think I'm funny at all. — Robbie Amell
No Girlfriend Funny Quotes By Jimmy Carr: Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?" — Jimmy Carr