Masturbation's Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Masturbation's
Masturbation's Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Masturbation's quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Virtual sex, no matter how realistic, was really nothing but glorified, computer-assisted masturbation.
— Ernest Cline
Instead of being a well-known painter, I became everybody's favorite dirty joke. Come to think of it, teaching masturbation skills is pretty weird.
— Betty Dodson
To masturbate is to imagine: physically.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Parthenogenesis means never having your mother tell you to stop doing that or you'll go blind.
— Seanan McGuire
Reading - like masturbation - is something you do alone and very little in life brings more pleasure.
— Chloe Thurlow
Sex without love is nothing more than a complex form of masturbation.
— August Clearwing
The piano bar is the gateway to the halls of masturbation.
— Henry Miller
Use of masturbation as a way of soothing yourself to ward off death anxiety so you can fall asleep.
— Irvin D. Yalom
But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
— Woody Allen
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
— Patrick Murray
Today I will masterbate!
Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written Today I will masterbate
if I want to! — Al Franken
Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written Today I will masterbate
if I want to! — Al Franken
I even made love to myself once. Uhh, I wasn't suppose to tell you that.
— Gary B.B. Coleman
In the United States, the last recorded clitoridectomy for curing masturbation was performed in 1948
on a five year old girl. — Eve Ensler
on a five year old girl. — Eve Ensler
Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
— Chelsea Handler
The war against illegal file-sharing is like the church's age-old war against masturbation. It's a war you just can't win.
— Lawrence Lessig
If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row.
— Jeremy Piven
Worry is a habit that shatters our peace of mind and needlessly drains our energy, a form of mental masturbation without any benefits.
— Sue Patton Thoele
If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.
— Dennis Miller
Masturbation! The amazing availability of it!
— James Joyce
Abused as we abuse it at present, dramatic art is in no sense cathartic; it is merely a form of emotional masturbation ...
— Aldous Huxley
Love is what makes sex more than masturbation. If there is no love even if you are really with a partner you masturbate with a partner.
— Slavoj Zizek
Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure.
— Thomas Szasz
Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.
— Karl Kraus
What was said about him, what the females needed to believe about him, was just oral masturbation for mouths that needed to be otherwise occupied.
— J.R. Ward
When it comes to sex: some men treat women as objects; some women treat objects as men.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
AA 241:87 - I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization.
— Ernest Cline
Private moments held not a candle to coitus, not even the expensive kind of candle that made the whole room smell of far off seasons.
— Thomm Quackenbush
Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I've been married but I'm not anymore. And I still believe in love.
— Nick Saint Clair
The palm of his hand was a dull red. Not a good sign.
I jerk off left-handed, he thought, at least that's something. — Stephen King
I jerk off left-handed, he thought, at least that's something. — Stephen King
Procrastination is like masturbation, in the beginning it feels good, but in the end, you're just f***ing yourself!
— Michael McCarthy
Female masturbation is permissible unconditionally.
— Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah
At the end of the day, I was still a virgin, all alone in a dark room, humping a lubed-up robot.
— Ernest Cline
I have a Ph.D. in masturbation.
— Amelie Nothomb
Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.
— Matt Groening
Writing is like masturbation. It might not bear fruit, but it certainly does feel good.
— Charles Delmar
Self improvement is masturbation...
— Chuck Palahniuk
Writing is like a mental masturbation to me.
— Lina K. Lapina
Stars today are just masturbation images.
— Robert Mitchum
Your imagination and some masturbation is a much better alternative to finding out what kind of person a bit of casual sex transforms you into.
— S.A. Tawks
If you say children wouldn't know anything about masturbation on their own, you've never changed a little boy's diaper.
— Joycelyn Elders
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
— Bob Saget
Masturbation is great for the right arm
— Daron Malakian
People who detest their sanity love to tell you they are insane, authors included...and all for a few bucks. Their charlatan madness is masturbation.
— W.T. Shad
Masturbation is good for the right arm.
— Daron Malakian
I had a moral tutor, but never saw him (the only words of his I remember are 'The three pleasures of life -drinking, smoking, and masturbation')
— Philip Larkin
When they say take from my body, I think I'll take from mine instead. Getting off, getting off while they're all down stairs.
— Tori Amos
Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.
— Dudley Moore
Remember how it felt yesterday? What you saw me do?" I snorted and grinned. "Man, do I ever. I remembered twice last night and again this morning.
— Missy Welsh
Masturbation is a democratic pleasure, practiced by rich and poor, young and old, married and single.
— Mason Cooley
For the most expensive way to realize an orgasm, men open their wallets. For the cheapest, they close their eyes.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It's disgusting. On trains, the number of those people doing that strange masturbation-like gesture is multiplying.
— Hayao Miyazaki
My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.
— Roddy Piper
With a shaking hand, he reached for his cock, and stroked it slowly from base to tip.
Clearly, prayer time was over. — Rosanna Leo
Clearly, prayer time was over. — Rosanna Leo
Fuck you . . . you fucking body-dysmorphia porn-addict trust-fund-baby compulsive-masturbation motherfucker.
— Warren Ellis
Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.
— Dana Gould
For years I thought babies came out of belly buttons and masturbation meant chewing your food really well
— Charlotte Stein
Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand.
— Robert Clark
I do not need a man. I am devoted to masturbation. I think it's probably one of the most pleasurable experiences in life.
— Gloria Stuart
Prince's music calmed me as much as masturbation or a cheeseburger.
— Jonathan Lethem
They are this horrible thing where you are distorted. The chin is too big, the head is too small. No, this is electronic masturbation.
— Karl Lagerfeld
Clinton masturbates in the sinks.
— Ann Coulter
Masturbation is pleasure without cost. So how might you make people pay?
— Christopher S. Hyatt
Ideology is masturbation, a jerk-off afforded to those few privileged with time on their hands and no wolves at the door.
— Rick Remender
[On masturbation:] I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.
— Joycelyn Elders
Twas the night before Thanksgiving.
All the food's in the oven.
And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'. — Craig Ferguson
All the food's in the oven.
And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'. — Craig Ferguson
They command a fascination, however reluctant, that borders on psychic masturbation.
— Hunter S. Thompson
If I'm going to merely ramble, maybe I should just snuggle under the warm covers, think of Miu, and play with myself.
— Haruki Murakami
Well, one thing you can say for masturbation ... you certainly don't have to look your best.
— Mart Crowley
Philosophy stands in the same relation to the study of the actual world as masturbation to sexual love.
— Karl Marx
Bouldering is like masturbation: not as good as the real thing but you don't need to worry about your protection.
— Scott Grimes
Life is just masturbation in a sense, mentally. What people do is they just create a world out of their self-reflection.
— Frederick Lenz
You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
— Woody Allen
Masturbation is our first and natural form of sexual activity and if that's inhibited or damaged, then we suffer for the rest of our lives.
— Betty Dodson
Just like real sex, the touching was good, but there came a point in time when a woman needed to be filled - deeply.
— Lacey Alexander
It's what I call "mental masturbation", when you engage is some pointless intellectual exercise that has no possible meaning.
— Linus Torvalds
I think the internet is the greatest waste of time since masturbation was discovered.
— Norman Mailer
Physics is to math what sex is to masturbation.
— Richard Feynman
Masturbation is killing thousands and tens of thousands.
— Ellen G. White
Masturbation is the new polygamy.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
He looked like an angelic little boy who had been kicked out of his orphanage for failing to take part in group masturbation.
— Charles Wright
Masturbation = Imagination + Activity. Worry = Imagination + Negativity.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I hung a picture of him above my bed and learned by hand the internal workings of the female combustion engine.
— Shannon Celebi
Masturbation is the thinking man's television.
— Christopher Hampton