Maher Bill Quotes

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Maher Bill Quotes & Sayings

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Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: The shame would be if Democrats get thrown The shame would be if Democrats get thrown out of office without ever having tried Democratic policies. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I hate stupidity, but what I hate even I hate stupidity, but what I hate even more is when people actually brag about it. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: True patriotism is doing something for your country. True patriotism is doing something for your country. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Today Obama was seen leaving the White House Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: The country can't get well if the people The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: We are oblivious to suffering. We are cheap We are oblivious to suffering. We are cheap with charity if it's not close to our home. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Republicans are obsessed with abortion ... if they Republicans are obsessed with abortion ... if they really wanted to protect the weakest, most helpless people, wouldn't they protect the Democrats? — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Our mistakes from the past are just that: Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting him in context. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: If I can't suck your milkshake through a If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake
it's a glass of ice cream. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Cleavage is to a man what power is Cleavage is to a man what power is to a woman. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: We're a complacent society, hard to get riled We're a complacent society, hard to get riled up in the first place, and then when we do, it's misdirected. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: If you want to get rich with a If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: The only thing I hate worse than prophecy The only thing I hate worse than prophecy is self-fulfilling prophecy — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: You'd know if I was the de-facto leader You'd know if I was the de-facto leader of the Democratic Party, because you'd go down to Walgreen's and buy a pack of blunts. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: People sometimes say how standup is so hard, People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: In America, you're allowed to justify almost any In America, you're allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God's big book of bad ideas. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I don't respect religon. I don't respect superstitious I don't respect religon. I don't respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: When I was 5-years-old, I knew who Khrushchev When I was 5-years-old, I knew who Khrushchev was. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: You know, the only place in America where You know, the only place in America where the millionaires and billionaires are predominantly liberal is here in Hollywood. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I believe in God, I just give him I believe in God, I just give him more credit than being a single parent and an author. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Can we go back to using Facebook for Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got? — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: How can the Republicans get away with picking How can the Republicans get away with picking their Dennis Kucinich, but when - if the Democrats tried it, all hell would break lose? — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: We have a Bill of Rights. What we We have a Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Religion is defined as belief in and worship Religion is defined as belief in and worship of a controlling power and atheism is precisely not that. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: You're not a patriot unless even when you You're not a patriot unless even when you lose, it's still your country. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I just don't think a lot of Republicans I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: It's all been satirized for your protection. It's all been satirized for your protection. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: There is good news. Scientists sent a probe There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: If a President must constantly remind the people If a President must constantly remind the people that we're at war, then we're not. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: There is no debate here, just scientists and There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don't get a vote. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Some people think I enjoy debate. I don't. Some people think I enjoy debate. I don't. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average American. He unveiled his slogan this week: 'Are you better off than you were four wives ago?' — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I'm okay with it now that Obama's in I'm okay with it now that Obama's in office. I'm kind of trusting of him. But President Ted Cruz? Where this is going would bother me. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I love Jesus. I just don't like the I love Jesus. I just don't like the Christians who don't believe in what he says. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity. To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Clinton left the White House with all the Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I think what's dangerous is the idea that I think what's dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: We're all gonna be gay if we get We're all gonna be gay if we get health care! — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: This is why rational people - anti-religionists - This is why rational people - anti-religionists - must end their timidity and come out of their closet and assert themselves. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: My bank must stop trying to sell me My bank must stop trying to sell me identity theft protection. You know why I expect you to protect my money? Because you're a bank. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Religion is bad, drugs are good. Religion is bad, drugs are good. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: The point is, a leader does what he The point is, a leader does what he thinks is right, not what he thinks the popular thing is. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Everybody has a magazine and a channel. There Everybody has a magazine and a channel. There are 500 channels and 500 magazines, and we wonder why we're not united as a country. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: March Madnesss ... the only place where you March Madnesss ... the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.' — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Look, I have never made a secret of Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana ... About 50,000 times. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: We don't do sensible things. This is America. We don't do sensible things. This is America. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Tea-baggers love the truth. They just hate facts. Tea-baggers love the truth. They just hate facts. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Ray Comfort: I don't blame Bill Maher for mocking religion. I don't blame Bill Maher for mocking religion. I can see why he took the trouble to make the movie. In one sense, it's overdue. — Ray Comfort
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: New Rule: The Jacksons must trot out at New Rule: The Jacksons must trot out at least one family member who doesn't make us all ask, What went on in that house? — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: The Drug War is an addiction, really. The Drug War is an addiction, really. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I have two dogs. If I had retarded I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same thing. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I think the funniest stuff comes from the I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives? — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: The country has become much more conservative, partly The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I think capital punishment works great. Every killer I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I like groaning. That means that you're not I like groaning. That means that you're not pandering to their already settled prejudices. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I don't dislike children, I just don't particularly I don't dislike children, I just don't particularly want to be around with them a lot. Problem is, neither do their parents. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I urge the media to start referring to I urge the media to start referring to climate skeptics as what they really are: climate assholes. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Chris Hayes: The thing they're trying to stop is 30-million The thing they're trying to stop is 30-million people getting health insurance. That's the substance. — Chris Hayes
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Your fuselage shouldn't open more easily than your Your fuselage shouldn't open more easily than your pretzel bag. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Talk to women who've ever dated an Arab Talk to women who've ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good, — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit! — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: But females in even the most advanced Muslim But females in even the most advanced Muslim countries are simply, by law, not the equal of men. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Ask your doctor if getting off your ass Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I have two questions about Arnold Schwarzenegger. What I have two questions about Arnold Schwarzenegger. What does he know, and when will he know it? — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Why are there so many puritans in this Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can't the rest of us make them go away?! — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: The public is gullible ... If [many satirists The public is gullible ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in 'Dancing with the Stars.' — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: This country hates professors. It likes Toby Keith This country hates professors. It likes Toby Keith - 'I'm gonna put a boot in their ass.' If you don't do that, somehow you can't be strong. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: To most Christians, the Bible is like a To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bernard Goldberg: Bill Maher fancies himself the reincarnation of Lenny Bill Maher fancies himself the reincarnation of Lenny Bruce. — Bernard Goldberg
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I think girls hate each other, no doesn't I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring and the Olympics are gay. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: What mostly prevents black people from voting is What mostly prevents black people from voting is that drug laws send them to prison, and then they can't vote. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: In today's Republican Party, there's a term for In today's Republican Party, there's a term for people who hate charity and love killing: 'Christian.' — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: You would think there is a higher bar You would think there is a higher bar than having a Facebook page to run for president. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I love trains. It's the only way to I love trains. It's the only way to travel anymore where it doesn't involve a TSA agent slowly tracing the curve of my inner thigh. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: The politicians are no prizes, but the people The politicians are no prizes, but the people are even worse, they're so ill-informed. I never understand the pushback when I say people are stupid. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: The only silver lining I can find is The only silver lining I can find is that British accents aren't sexy anymore. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: When you want to make it clear to When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: As you go down the path of life, As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: If you came into the theater believing in If you came into the theater believing in the talking snake, it's kind of hard to leave the theater still believing in the talking snake. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: What does it take for Republicans to take What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'? — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Say that evil happens when good men do Say that evil happens when good men do nothing. And the Democrats prove it also happens when mediocre people do nothing. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Fame has sent a number of celebrities off Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I understand we're on our way to being I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there? — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: You want to spend your millions on a You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: We've been on a long break and I've We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at a 'birther' hotel. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: I think America causes cancer, longevity is less I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting. — Bill Maher
Maher Bill Quotes By Bill Maher: Little do women know what big ideas I Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants. — Bill Maher

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