Life Humour Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Life Humour

Life Humour Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Life Humour quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

-I'm a girl, I'm his friend and I'm attractive too, so don't just ignore me like I was a pile of squid guts! She felt like saying back to them. — Andrew James Pritchard

Darling, whose book is this to be?"
"Ostensibly yours, my sweet"
"I see
rather like my life since I met you?"
"Yes darling — John Wyndham

The main causes for divorce
are marriages. — A.J. Beirens

Tony smothered the life that me and Ma had built, a furry mould growing over a sweating slab of cheese. — Kerry Hudson

The sun doesn't live in England; it comes here on holiday when we're all at work. — Benny Bellamacina

Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle. — Carl Hiaasen

I'm pretty irreverent. There is a lot of need to find humour in life. Although I'd never be as disrespectful to laugh at someone's expense. — Michael Bolton

Age may catch up with you, just never let it over take you. — Benny Bellamacina

I ain't scared to lend a hand
I ain't scared to clench it either — Mie Hansson

Sleepwalking is the perfect exorcise for lazy people — Benny Bellamacina

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever becoming one."
"Don't vote. It just encourages them ... — Billy Connolly

You can't spell American without "I can. — A.D. Aliwat

Never try to swim through a sharp rock.
Go around! Go around! — Peter James West

Colorful characters are the odd shaped pieces that fill the holes in life's puzzle. — Richard Stephens

Never say no to now — Benny Bellamacina

Life would be a great deal easier if dead things had the decency to remain dead. — Doug MacLeod

Failure is something you experience on your way to success - unless you're a skydiver. — Peter James West

Being under pressure is great, if it's all in the right place. — Benny Bellamacina

Question everything, unless it's the answer — Benny Bellamacina

If the colour of life turns grey turn the palette the other way — Benny Bellamacina

Don't just live your life, set it on fire! — Ginger Sullivan

Uh-uh, I would rather got hrough the front door and tackle the giants than have to life-saving-suck-kiss you for five minutes. — Chanda Hahn

It's never too late to change, unless you're already fully undressed — Benny Bellamacina

Eat ten of your five a day and live twice as long — Benny Bellamacina

Sometimes the walk to the doctors is a better cure than the medicine you receive — Benny Bellamacina

I've just found out I'm allergic to nut-cases — Benny Bellamacina

When you're going out of your mind always leave the door open! — Benny Bellamacina

I like it subdued and tepid, with far to much milk — Andi James Chamberlain

There are a great many aspects to feline life, but the three most important - the Holy Trinity, if you will - are eating, sleeping and washing. — Jem Vanston

You don't need a big pen to write a tall story — Benny Bellamacina

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny. — Stephen Hawking

Never worry if you're excluded from the circle, sometimes it's full of squares. — Benny Bellamacina

Old age is not just for grown up's — Benny Bellamacina

Anyone who thinks money can't buy happiness has never owned a cat [or any pet]. — Arya Riverdale

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive. — Robert A. Heinlein

My father had a good sense of humour about a lot of things, including life, which I think I inherited. — Brian Dennehy

I'm eighteen; I'm a princess; and I'm a virgin. You know what? At this point in my life, I might as well be a unicorn. Happy freaking birthday to me. — Meg Cabot

Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor! — Christina Scalise

What could be worse than having to be seen resorting to your own life? — Gary Lutz

Here is a story in the worst way. I have no business being anywhere in it. It comes between me and the life I have coming. — Gary Lutz

You can't always be right, but you can be wrong a lot less — Benny Bellamacina

Ender began to eat, slowly and carefully, pretending not to notice he was the center of attention. — Orson Scott Card

Sometimes being given the elbow can turn out to be the best hand. — Benny Bellamacina

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. — Darynda Jones

The more ignoble I find life, the more strongly I react by contradiction, in humour and in an outburst of liberty and expansion. — Joan Miro

If you can't laugh at yourself, maybe you're not funny — Benny Bellamacina

We couldn't bring the sheep back to life, so there was nothing for it but to eat the evidence. — Karen Maitland

Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Humour is - how do I say this without sounding pompous - it's a huge part of my life. — Martin Freeman

Short cuts make long delays. — J.R.R. Tolkien

Life is a sexual transmission disease — Anonymous

Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it. — Douglas Adams

Clearly, she hadn't heard of the two words 'social' and 'life'. — Adele Rose

PEOPLE always REMEMBER to FORGET ME. — Shaikh Mustafa

Shit happens. You can either stand their and complain about the smell or you can wipe your shoe and keep walking. — Tommy Cotton

If you don't remove your hands immediately, I will render you unable to biologically maintain life. — Kaede Kouchi

Life is a sentence without any fullstops. — Danish Sayanee

If you forget who you've become remember who you are — Benny Bellamacina

Not sweet like fruits, the heart of a maiden is a little sour. — Bunjuro Nakayama

Always take a compliment, even if it's not yours — Benny Bellamacina

I think I know where my life went wrong. For all the world's a stage and I'm a lousy actor! — Greg Curtis

Walk tall but don't bang your head on low hanging branches. — Peter James West

Political life is best treated with antibiotics. — Colin Tegerdine

Without desire, one is a walking cadaver. — Karldon Okruta

Life summed up with a marketing slogan: Limited Edition! — Kevin Focke

Life is a Game; More you play, More you learns — Harishankar Kaushik Hsk

Sometimes God dillies and dallies,' Steve said, 'and sometimes he just points at you and tells you to hang up your jock. — Stephen King

Stone me, what a life! — Tony Hancock

Once upon a time,
there was a Zen sign
at every small railway crossing in America

Stop. Look. And listen. — Dick Allen

Life has a sense of humour; it hides its best treasures in unexpected places. — Mensah Oteh

Life is like yoga; the only way you can enjoy it is by relaxing into any position you happen to find yourself in. — Jon Wakeham

No Matter what you're, Matter is ; What you do. — Harishankar Kaushik

Life makes fun of us and we should help it. — David Brandon

Apparently, faith in life is one thing and faith in literature is another. — Gerald Weaver

With humour, there is life. — JR

Always stay one step a head, unless you're already there — Benny Bellamacina

An avalanche is just a snowflake that got pissed off. — Andi James Chamberlain

There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable. — Rufus Wainwright

If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess. — Honeya

When you reach the middle of your career ladder, turn it the other way around and slide down to the top — Benny Bellamacina

You ask me why I write. You might as well ask me why I breathe. I need oxygen to feed my body and ink to feed my soul. — Bryce Main

On the way home, I saw a fist fight between an adverb and a pair of parentheses.
I kept on walking. — Peter James West

I've found I can always manage to run for my life. I just need to know which direction to run in. — Jodi Baker

Nothing ever good came from a plan — J.E. Duah

If there was life without pie, then life would be a lie. — Steph

Life without a pasta machine is like life without music! — Margo Vader

You only get one life.
Too bad you already made a mess of it. — Peter James West

Going down in history is a dead end pursuit — Benny Bellamacina

If I had followed every urge I ever had, I would have had much more sex and killed a lot more people — Tommy Cotton

Always walk as if you're running late, it's healthier. — Benny Bellamacina

Follow your dreams but stop if you come to a cliff edge. — Peter James West

In some company it's perfectly all right to prick your finger, but very bad form to finger your prick. — George Carlin

Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile. — Zane Stumpo

Humour is ... the all-consoling and ... the all-excusing, grace of life. — C.S. Lewis

Achieve everything and fail at the rest — Benny Bellamacina

He's my cat! He's not God's cat! Let God have his own cat! Let God have all the damn old cats He wants, and kill them all! Church is mine! — Stephen King

People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones. — Sachin Tendulkar

My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas

My creative hands can't keep up with my creative mind, so I think I'll sit and rest on my creative behind — Benny Bellamacina

If we really exist merely to fulfill God's plan: then life is a television drama; with God being the scriptwriter, the director, and, the audience. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana