If Mark Henry was the Titanic, the iceberg would've sank!
— Jerry Lawler
When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock.
— Jerry Lawler
Michael Cole, what did you get for Christmas? Except drunk.
— Jerry Lawler
It's not often that you see a smile on the face of the Viper, but it actually looks good on there.
— Jerry Lawler
Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!
— Jerry Lawler
It's about falling down and getting back up.
— Robbie Lawler
You don't really realize the effect those things have on you when you're growing up but then when you look back you can see how they molded you.
— Robbie Lawler
I also watched boxing all the time and Tuesday Night Fights on USA and just kept hitting my heavy back in the garage.
— Robbie Lawler
I've been through a lot of ups and downs. Just willing to get back up and grind every day to try and get better.
— Robbie Lawler
I'm Jerry Lawler, I make fun of women because I have no self-esteem.
— Santino Marella
Verbing Weirds Language only if you're expecting it to work in a simple way. This is a special case of the more general truth that Language Weirds. — John Lawler
The only thing harder than Terry Funk's legs are his arteries. — Jerry Lawler
When it comes to Shawn Michaels, there's always a way. — Jerry Lawler
The sport in 2000 wasn't as big as it is now [in 2008]. — Robbie Lawler
Go back to your bingo hall. — Jerry Lawler
One man's trash is another man's girlfriend. — Jerry Lawler
Mark Henry is so strong he eats steak with a spoon. — Jerry Lawler
Foley looks like an un-made bed. — Jerry Lawler
Sunny didn't make a fool out of Phineas, God beat her to that. — Jerry Lawler
The only reason I lost to Aldo Montoya was the intoxicating fumes there were coming off his body from being around Jake Roberts. — Jerry Lawler
It used to be that Shamrock was the world's most dangerous man, but now Shamrock is the world's most dangerous speedbump. — Jerry Lawler
Hey Mark Henry, where are your gold medals? We all know that if Mark Henry won a gold medal he'd just take it and have it bronzed. — Jerry Lawler
This man can make a horror movie without makeup. — Jerry Lawler
You know what they call a good looking girl in Philadelphia ... a tourist. — Jerry Lawler
The fats dented the flats. — Jerry Lawler
I don't need to do all the trash talking. I try to do it with my fists, my knees, and my feet. — Robbie Lawler
Dustin Runnels came up to me and asked me if I made my peace with God today. I don't know if I ever had a fight with him. — Jerry Lawler
If at first you don't succeed, see if there is a prize for the losers. — Jerry Lawler
A lot of military kids make a lot of moves but I only made the one, so it wasn't really an issue for me. — Robbie Lawler
The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink. — Jerry Lawler
Jim Ross you're a fine one to talk about how someone is dressed. — Jerry Lawler
Paul Bearer is so fat, he has his own gravitational pull! — Jerry Lawler
Crash Holly's so short, you can see his feet on his driver's licence photo. — Jerry Lawler
When you were born and your mom saw your face and your rear end, she said "Oh! Siamesse Twins!" — Jerry Lawler
If charisma were rain, Blackman would be a desert. — Jerry Lawler
Speaking of birthday suits, I think Mae Young's needs ironing! — Jerry Lawler
I had never thought about being a professional fighter but meeting Pat [ Militich ] and the guys just pushed me in that direction. — Robbie Lawler
What I've learned from those losses ... Priceless. — Robbie Lawler
I'd like to retain Trish Stratus's services. — Jerry Lawler
I asked Sunny if she would ever consider dating you. She said she would rather give birth to a porcupine on fire. — Jerry Lawler
I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper. — Jerry Lawler
Dolph Ziggler reminds me of Santa; everywhere he goes he brings an old bag with him. — Jerry Lawler
You know what they say in Arkansas ... manure happens. — Jerry Lawler
Get back up when you're knocked down. — Robbie Lawler
You never really know a woman till you meet her in court. — Jerry Lawler
There is an old adage: love thy neighbor, but don't get caught. — Jerry Lawler
Cheating is only cheating when you get caught. — Jerry Lawler
Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick. — Jerry Lawler
Cena with the WWE Title, Randy Orton with the Money In The Bank briefcase, & Daniel Bryan with the beard. — Jerry Lawler
You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in TV westerns ... if she had two more legs. — Jerry Lawler
You lost weight? Look around, you'll find it. — Jerry Lawler
I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school. — Jerry Lawler
Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them. — Jerry Lawler
Are you ready for some puppies?! — Jerry Lawler
Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband. — Jerry Lawler
I've been here for nine years, and over that time, these people have become like my family. — Jerry Lawler
Haha, you lose! I got your delicious Subway sandwich Jerry 'stupid' Lawler! — Santino Marella
I lived in Iowa for pretty much the rest of my life, but I just moved to St. Louis and opened up a gym and MMA training center. — Robbie Lawler
I'm not a racist like Bret Hart, I hate everyone equally! — Jerry Lawler
What the Hell. In 1988, I was the AWA heavyweight champion and I never came to Milwaukee. — Jerry Lawler
Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied! — Jerry Lawler
When David killed Goliath, Mae Young called the cops. — Jerry Lawler
As a baby, Bret Hart was so ugly that they had to put tinted windows on his incubator! — Jerry Lawler
What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up! — Jerry Lawler
Koko B. Ware is a crossword wrestler: he enters the ring vertically, and leaves horizontally. — Jerry Lawler
A little sex on TV never hurt anyone ... unless you fall off! — Jerry Lawler
I just try to keep getting better every day, and that's all I can do. — Robbie Lawler
Get that strait jacket that Heidenreich had and put it on Lita! — Jerry Lawler
J.R.'s got moves like Jagger! — Jerry Lawler
Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the Bible. — Jerry Lawler
Her, Me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions? — Jerry Lawler
What's twelve inches long and hangs in front on ass, Mankind's tie. — Jerry Lawler
When most people get drunk, they see snakes. But, when snakes get drunk, they see Jake Roberts! — Jerry Lawler
You know how I impress girls at the gym? I do pull ups: I pull up in a Corvette, in a Cadillac, and in a Mercedes. — Jerry Lawler
It's all about getting better and controlling the things that you can control, which is getting better day to day. — Robbie Lawler
If the Japanese are so smart, why do they eat with sticks? — Jerry Lawler
Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I meet the women of my dreams. — Jerry Lawler
As they say, anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation. — Jerry Lawler
The Dudleys are going to get the VIP treatment this SundayVery Intense Pain! — Jerry Lawler
![Lawler Quotes By Jerry Lawler: Jake [Roberts] is feeling a little under the](http://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/lawler-quotes-by-jerry-lawler-1863604.jpg "Lawler Quotes By Jerry Lawler: Jake [Roberts] is feeling a little under the")
Jake [Roberts] is feeling a little under the weather. He has bar-thritis. That's when because stiffin' a different joint every night. — Jerry Lawler
When God said 'Let there be light', Mae Young threw the switch. — Jerry Lawler
I got a little bit of the Marine mentality from my dad, I guess. You can't but help absorb the culture you're around. — Robbie Lawler
Look at the attention the Godfather's getting! Kick my leg, J.R.; kick me in the leg! — Jerry Lawler
I'd always done martial arts I was always interested in fighting. — Robbie Lawler
Can I press one for English? — Jerry Lawler
ECW stands for Extremely Crappy Wrestling. — Jerry Lawler
Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value. — Jerry Lawler
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma. — Jerry Lawler
I'm looking forward, that's all, I'm not looking backwards. — Robbie Lawler
Jake 'The Snake's' two best friends are Jim Beam & Jack Daniels. — Jerry Lawler
Is he dancing or having a seizure? — Jerry Lawler
Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix. — Jerry Lawler
I'm an artist and I can draw very well. I'm amazed that everybody can't draw well because I can do it so effortlessly. — Jerry Lawler
