Kristen Schaal Funny Quotes

Kristen Schaal Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Kristen Schaal Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free. — Kristen Schaal

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners ... — Kristen Schaal

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm ... I'm hungry actually. — Kristen Schaal

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move. — Kristen Schaal

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well ... she's got eyes. — Kristen Schaal

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost. — Kristen Schaal

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys? — Kristen Schaal

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather. — Kristen Schaal

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex. — Kristen Schaal

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe. — Kristen Schaal

I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world! — Kristen Schaal

If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes. — Kristen Schaal

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility! — Kristen Schaal

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go. — Kristen Schaal

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it. — Kristen Schaal

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her. — Kristen Schaal

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome. — Kristen Schaal

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on. — Kristen Schaal

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground. — Kristen Schaal

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you. — Kristen Schaal

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths. — Kristen Schaal