John Oliver Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about John Oliver
John Oliver Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational John Oliver quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Integration begins the day after the minds of the people are desegregated.
— John Oliver Killens
I would hate to meet myself at 15.
— John Oliver
I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!
— John Oliver
I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.
— John Oliver
Americans just don't understand dry wit.
— John Oliver
We have to undo the millions of little white lies that America told itself and the world aboutthe American Black man.
— John Oliver Killens
The Negro was invented in America.
— John Oliver Killens
Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.
— John Oliver
Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
— John Oliver
Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
— John Oliver
Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can.
— John Oliver
I feel like any time John Oliver is added to something, the comedy is instantly there. He's so funny.
— Alison Brie
Drumpf is like a Magic 8-Ball. Every time you shake him, he gives you a different answer.
— John Oliver
I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
— John Oliver
I would never heckle someone. That's why I think I'm so interested in someone that would.
— John Oliver
When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
— John Oliver
![John Oliver Quotes By John Oliver: Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/john-oliver-quotes-by-john-oliver-1161371.jpg "John Oliver Quotes By John Oliver: Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face")
Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
— John Oliver
I'm like John Wayne. I only play good guys. Describing his cameo role on a TV series.
— Oliver North
When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
— John Oliver
I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.
— John Oliver
Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.
— John Oliver
Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or rather the hashish.
— Oliver St. John
Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
— John Oliver
A Southern accent is not a club in my bag.
— John Oliver
Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
— John Oliver
I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think.
— John Oliver
Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
— John Oliver
Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
— John Oliver
I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.
— John Oliver
The German language is so sonorous, isn't it? Beautiful language ... the language of poetry. Angry, angry poetry.
— John Oliver
The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not.
— John Oliver
I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse.
— John Oliver
Mr. President, no one is saying you broke any laws, we're just saying it's a little bit weird you didn't have to.
— John Oliver
Western man wrote "his" history as if it were the history of the entire human race.
— John Oliver Killens
the houses much smaller and meek and timid and nondescript, and even the trees were scantily clad.
— John Oliver Killens
Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
— John Oliver
People are friendlier in New York than London.
— John Oliver
I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
— John Oliver
One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
— John Oliver
The Negro loves America enough to criticize her fundamentally. Most white Americans simply can't be bothered.
— John Oliver Killens
Some men never recover from education.
— Oliver St. John Gogarty
Life is a short walk. There is so little time and so much living to achieve.
— John Oliver Killens
Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
— John Oliver
Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
— John Oliver
My fight is not for racial sameness but for racial equality and against racial prejudice and discrimination.
— John Oliver Killens
Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
— John Oliver
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
— John Oliver
Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
— John Oliver
I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
— John Oliver
You know that things are not going well when you lose the moral high ground to a TMZ reporter,
— John Oliver
I can't relax. I find vacations problematic.
— John Oliver
It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.
— John Oliver
There is no greater anesthetic than sport.
— John Oliver
Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
— John Oliver
Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
— John Oliver
When you see people say crazy things on our show, they mean this stuff,and that's easy to forget: They're not joking.
— John Oliver
You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
— John Oliver
There are some people who watch NASCAR for the highly skilled driving - but most people watch it for the crashes.
— John Oliver
I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
— John Oliver
I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
— John Oliver
The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
— John Oliver
If a queen bee were crossed with a Friesian bull, would not the land flow with milk and honey?
— Oliver St. John
Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
— John Oliver
Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.
— John Oliver