Jeremy Clarkson Quotes: top 69 famous quotes about Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Jeremy Clarkson quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won't let me turn the traction control off! — Jeremy Clarkson

You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed! — Jeremy Clarkson

He (Jeremy Clarkson) is the last man standing on the beach commanding the glaciers' melt waters to go back — A.A. Gill

I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over. — Jeremy Clarkson

That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It's like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'm not only in touch with my feminine side, I'm in touch with my gay side as well. — Jeremy Clarkson

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. — Jeremy Clarkson

Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are. — Jeremy Clarkson

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he's called the Stig. — Jeremy Clarkson

No, no, no. There's no such thing as cheap and cheerful. It's cheap and nasty & expensive and cheerful. — Jeremy Clarkson

We are going to have to stop penalising people for making that most human of gestures- mistake — Jeremy Clarkson

If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die! — Jeremy Clarkson

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite — Jeremy Clarkson

I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded! — Jeremy Clarkson

There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults! — Jeremy Clarkson

I am aware, of course, that many men do hate the sight of their wife and children. Doctors even have a name for these people: 'anglers'. — Jeremy Clarkson

Whenever I'm suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I'm straight off. — Jeremy Clarkson

They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away. — Jeremy Clarkson

Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. — Jeremy Clarkson

International hand of freindship. A cigarette — Jeremy Clarkson

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do? — Jeremy Clarkson

Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You've heard she's mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn't
you? — Jeremy Clarkson

It was as relaxing as being tickled. — Jeremy Clarkson

Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun. — Jeremy Clarkson

When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards. — Jeremy Clarkson

I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the Guardian hating me. — Jeremy Clarkson

This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots. — Jeremy Clarkson

Planet Earth thought it had Â£10. But it turns out we only had Â£2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth — Jeremy Clarkson

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President. — Jeremy Clarkson

I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing. — Jeremy Clarkson

In Conisborough there's no Hoxton Square to bring a bit of light relief. It's just mile after mile of broken windows and the bloody Earth Centre. — Jeremy Clarkson

God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place. — Jeremy Clarkson

Why is the forecast so bland? Why instead of 'stormy' don't they just say the sea's 'a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness'? — Jeremy Clarkson

I'm a horse of a man! — Jeremy Clarkson

Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius. — Jeremy Clarkson

I do not wish to help Jeremy Clarkson be amusing in the event of my death. — James May

Americans are good at herding Bison. The end. — Jeremy Clarkson

All this health and safety talk is just killing me. — Jeremy Clarkson

I have had an amazingly fortunate life. I'm a child from Yorkshire, which is sort of like Cleveland without the pretty bits. — Jeremy Clarkson

It couldn't pull a greased
stick out of a pig's bottom — Jeremy Clarkson

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw. — Jeremy Clarkson

Hollywood movies are designed for 15-year-old youths from North Dakota who, intellectually speaking, are on equal terms with a British zoo animal. — Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson is rather charming, but I can't stomach his public persona. I don't like his casual racism and casual misogyny. — Jo Brand

Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain. — Jeremy Clarkson

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends' houses so they don't see its backside. — Jeremy Clarkson

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler — Jeremy Clarkson

This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory. — Jeremy Clarkson

Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable. — Jeremy Clarkson

In Italy, you sometimes get the impression they'd be happier to lose the Ppe than lose their right to drive like maniacs. — Jeremy Clarkson

Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he's called the Stig. — Jeremy Clarkson

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time. — Jeremy Clarkson

If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks. — Jeremy Clarkson

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster. — Jeremy Clarkson

Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously. — Jeremy Clarkson

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED? — Jeremy Clarkson

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze. — Jeremy Clarkson

If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them? — Jeremy Clarkson

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley. — Jeremy Clarkson

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would. — Jeremy Clarkson

My epiglottis is full of bees! — Jeremy Clarkson

Column writing is like gas - it fills the available space. — Jeremy Clarkson

I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not. — Jeremy Clarkson

Sips fuel like a mouse sipping sherry from a hypodermic needle. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. — Jeremy Clarkson

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning, and you think you are an onion, this is your car, (about the BMW X3). — Jeremy Clarkson

There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on. — Jeremy Clarkson

I think people who watch 'Top Gear' think they're the only ones watching it, which I quite like, because it can hopefully last for a long time. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'd like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God. — Jeremy Clarkson