It Humor Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about It Humor
It Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational It Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying.
— Terry Pratchett
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
— P.G. Wodehouse
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
— Rodney Dangerfield
It will be in the key of delicious. - Bucky
— Darby Conley
You always need right moves, wheather it's life or romance..
— BHARAT SHARMA
The thing about growing old is that when you wake up with a new pain, you can just about count on it becoming a permanent part of your life!
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley
I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end.
— Mitch Hedberg
How come there's no terrorism with humor, which is a great way to humiliate your enemy? It's a great time for that.
— John Waters
It's like a jolt of electricity, but worse.
— Lee Davidson
Even celebrities, most people have a sense of humor. Most of the people we meet who we've done on the show, like it.
— Matt Stone
I'm more than a few neurons shy of a synapse right now, and it feels absolutely fan-fucking-tastic.
— Nenia Campbell
Humor is such a great gift - why leave it to chance?
— Joel Goodman
It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing.
— Gertrude Stein
Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds.
— Dave Barry
If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.
— Janet Evanovich
Be aware of the type of humor you use in your daily life. Just because people are laughing doesn't mean it is creating positive vibes.
— Alaric Hutchinson
You have a faculty for defining the simplest in terms of the grandiose, so that a poor devil like me can't understand it.
— Malcolm Bradbury
Especially the transcendental philosophy needs the leaven of humor to render it light and digestible.
— Henry David Thoreau
He comes.And he comes
loaded
with noise pollution.
If I ever prayed for anything,
it was for a man
to shut up. — Casey Renee Kiser
I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.
— Edgar Allan Poe
Talk Back? That's really what it's called? You're supposed to walk into some church basement and say, 'I'm here to learn how to Talk Back'?
— Catherine Gilbert Murdock
Was it possible to have an apartment sprayed for evil spirits like one would for bugs, or set up traps like for those big, city rats?
— K.L. Burrell
But this room looked like it had been decorated by the unholy lovechild of Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake.
— Rachel Hawkins
She'd run over Dankyo in an instant to get to Theo. Be a darn big bump in the road, but she'd do it.
— Cari Silverwood
My cat mocks me frequently. It's the universe's way of keeping me from getting too big of an ego.
— Michelle M. Pillow
Jesus!" Luke exclaimed."Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling. — Cassandra Clare
I understand toilets were not yet invented when you were born, but is it really so hard to put the seat down?
— Christy Gissendaner
Nicu: It's not fair! Everybody has fangs but me, and I can't even turn into a bat properly. Sometimes when I try I end up as a sparrow!
— Elias Zapple
It's lonely up in the top
— Kermit The Frog
When you come to a detour, take it.
— Jack Dancer
You're rather adorable when you're mad and can't do anything about it, you know.
— Amanda Lee Knauss
His eyes are peculiar. There is nothing in them, like an eclair without the cream filling. It's wrong, lack of cream.
— Gail Carriger
Ho there, it ignites!
— Nicole Sager
Find out what people want to do, then tell them to do it. They'll think you're a genius.
— Connie Brockway
Never get old. It's a ridiculously uncomfortable process Ath Creator should be made to find a cure for.
— Janny Wurts
Say it, woman.""It. Woman."
"God, you're a pain. — Kristan Higgins
It's your own fault for encouraging him ... , you know. Now he thinks he's a human being.Neal of Queens cove — Tamora Pierce
Tequila often gave people the desire to tackle the impossible. It did not, however, make impossible possible
— Darynda Jones
I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.
— Jimmy Carr
I've died before. It was boring, so I stood up.
— Warren Ellis
You aren't afraid of needles. I see one, and I start crying like a baby.""I've never seen you cry."
"It's on the inside. — Gena Showalter
Do you think he's the murderer?""It's worse than that
he's an actor! — Julian Fellowes
Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.
— Jim Butcher
My paycheck is so small it has an inferiority complex.
— Mallory Kane
Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.
— Rene Descartes
Clarity and focus doesn't always come from God or inspirational quotes. Usually, it takes your mother to slap the reality back into you.
— Shannon L. Alder
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
— Dorothy Parker
I think it needs work. Like all your other songs.""Yeah, well, your face will need some work after I give you a good beatin'. — Kami Garcia
It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
— Dorothy Parker
Religious ceremonies are of paramount importance in Bali ( an island, don't forget, with seven unpredictable volcanoes on it-you would pray, too).
— Elizabeth Gilbert
MS. THOMPSON, it said in heavy block letters, PLEASE KEEP YOUR FELINE OFF MY PROPERTY. IF I SEE IT AGAIN, I WILL EAT IT.
— Patricia Briggs
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
— Steven Wright
2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"
— Henny Youngman
I feel no grief for being called somethingwhich
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski
Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there.
— Kira Peikoff
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
— Janet Evanovich
You'd tell the world what your best friend wore to sleep if you thought it made a good enough story.
— Patricia Briggs
Anything designed to be inoffensive isn't worth your time life itself is pretty offensive, ending as it does with death. — Holly Lisle
So you like to stretch the truth?" he asked me. "Stretch, fold, spindle, staple or cut, whatever it takes to get it to fit just right".
— Neil Leckman
Trust is not hoping your partner will love you; it is KNOWING that they DO.
— Julieanne O'Connor
My daughter doesn't even get my humor. She's like, 'Um, no. I don't get it, Dad. Mmm, no, not that one, Dad.'
— Kevin Hart
If we want less and less, we may in fact receive more and more of what we need. It may work like that.
— Art Hochberg
What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off?
— Parker S. Huntington
My life is so bad that it's worse than it really is.
— Brian Spellman
