I'm Crazy Funny Quotes

I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are. — Eden Ahbez

People that want it to just be funny should not despair, because there is so much true crazy comedy coming up. — Mary Steenburgen

Come Hell or High Water usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub — Josh Stern

My main objective is to be professional but to kill him. — Mike Tyson

There are moments of the most crazy all-encompassing joy. What a phenonenally beautiful kid. A funny, dear child. Kind and open and loving. — Elisa Albert

Wishing he'd...get the hell out the door before I do something crazy like ask him to whip out his goober. — Stephanie McAfee

All your Western theologies, the whole mythology of them, are based on the concept of God as a senile delinquent — Tennessee Williams

His heart beat so rapidly it might burst; he kept telling himself everything was fine so long as he remained a giraffe. — Andrew Sturm

Everyone's crazy except you and me. — Mark Frauenfelder

How are you doing, son?"
"If you don't get started, I'll rip out your heart and have it for breakfast."
- Michael to Solo — Gena Showalter

Funny how people that don't believe in nothin' are so quick to believe every crazy story about people like us. — Dean Koontz

I have a mind like a steel trap. Stuff gets in there and WHAM! it never gets back out again. — Bill Austin

I once took a poo in the woods while hunched over like an animal. It was AWESOME. — Drew Barrymore

What doesn't kill you makes you CRAZY, GRUMPY, MAD AS EVER? NO it makes you STRONGER! Yep,you'll get there eventually! — Karen Gibbs

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters? — Groucho Marx

You said she's a senior? Babe we're ALL crazy. — Cecily Von Ziegesar

Opinions are like feet. Everybody's got a couple, and they usually stink. — Jim Slattery

It's crazy and it's funny. It's an outrageous comment, an outrageous claim. — Mark Texeira

Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno! — Dave Attell

What do you want? Where's the goddamn ice I ordered? Where's the booze? There's a war on, man! People are being killed! — Hunter S. Thompson

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here! — Groucho Marx

I don't think I'm crazy, but then again, define crazy. — J. Lincoln Fenn

We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed ... But we're going back next week. — Groucho Marx

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did. — Groucho Marx

Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy. — Ilona Andrews

Love has a way of making the sane insane and the insane normal. — Shannon L. Alder

I don't understand your specific kind of crazy, but I do admire your commitment to it. — Darynda Jones

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs — Josh Stern

Oh, you're an expert in crazy people now?"
"A month with you and I feel I have a master's degree in the subject. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. — Groucho Marx

We're clear," she said. "You're kind of a psycho. I get that — Rachel Caine

Just because I'm insane doesn't mean I have to act all crazy. — Diana Rowland

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny. — Steven Wright

What I would do in order to be popular was, I'd put myself on line and joke around and be funny, and I was always known as the crazy kid. — Leonardo DiCaprio

I'm not crazy, but I suspect the voices in my head are. ~Chrissy — Kelli Sullivan

I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"! — Rodney Dangerfield

Phones are only good for ordering pizza and telling someone you're running late — Amy Reed

People were stopping me on the street to say, 'Oh my God, it's Crazy Eyes!' Which is kind of a funny thing to have people shout at you on the street. — Uzo Aduba

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy. — Johnny Carson

The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy. — Harriet Morgan

If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator — Josh Stern

Years of insanity have made this guy crazy! — Woody Allen

This was sharing office space with wacko and bordering on ludicrous. — Kelly Moran

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face. — Groucho Marx

Here's my advice: Go ahead and be whacky. Get into a crazy frame of mind and ask what's funny about what you're doing. — Roger Von Oech

When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service ... .that's no chocolate on the pillow — Josh Stern

He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy. — Rachel Caine

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!" — Henny Youngman

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! — Groucho Marx

Are you trying to tell all of us we have a bad signal-to-noise ratio? — Robert A. Heinlein

If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months — Josh Stern

What good is the Moon? You can't buy it or sell it. — Ivan Boesky

... where there's one there's ten.'
That's crazy math. — Emma Donoghue

All right, baby," Daphne crooned.
"Talk to Mama and tell me all your secrets ... — Jennifer Estep

My persona has always been what a man was never supposed to be. Outrageous, gregarious, crazy, silly, funny. — Richard Simmons

Don't gobblefunk around with words. — Roald Dahl

As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife. — Groucho Marx

Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it — Josh Stern

It's funny how people can change your life without meaning to. Even the fucked-up, crazy people leave everything different when they go away. — Seanan McGuire

Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island. — Christopher Moore

Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything ... .but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco — Josh Stern

If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried — Josh Stern

A crazy old lady, leading a band of teenagers against an angry supernatural Entity - who'da thought? — Diane M. Haynes

Crazy chicks are usually pretty tough. — Darynda Jones