I'm Back Funny Quotes
Collection of top 67 famous quotes about I'm Back Funny
I'm Back Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational I'm Back Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good.
— Andy Richter
You say very funny things. I am sorry I can't say funny things back. This is not a funny time for me.
— Kurt Vonnegut
I pull out my e-reader and get back to my fictional boyfriend. Lord knows he won't cheat on me.
— M.D. Saperstein
For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.
— Rodney Dangerfield
'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!'
— Russell Howard
I have a mind like a steel trap. Stuff gets in there and WHAM! it never gets back out again.
— Bill Austin
The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, Spring back or Fall in.
— Dave Beard
I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone.
— Steven Wright
I recently bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back, Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the TV!
— Milton Jones
I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.
— Bill Watterson
I was a drummer in the bugle band in cadets. I marched. It's probably quite funny to look back on it.
— Gordon Lightfoot
I sometimes close my eyes during a show because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids.
— Mitch Hedberg
I recently bought a cat, but took it back a day later because our personalities clashed.
— David Mitchell
It's funny, isn't it? When you are young you just want to be old, and then later you wish you could go back to being a kid.
— Lauren Oliver
Wouldn't have pegged you for a dancer," he spoke to my mind."Funny, I would have pegged you for a stalker," I shot back. — Becca Fitzpatrick
Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
— Erma Bombeck
When did you grow a back bone?" Cassius stopped pacing and actually smiled a little.Kendall wasn't appeased "I borrowed Jory's — Gabrielle Evans
I wonder if vampire's eyebrows can grow back.
— Robert Pattinson
I'm pretty sure my stomach has a sliver in it from rubbing up against my backbone, so back off, bitch.
— H.J. Bellus
Warren returns from his room and sits back down at the table. "I walked away for dramatic effect," he says. "I wasn't finished eating yet. — Colleen Hoover
When I turn back to Jase, he's again beaming at me. "You're nice." He sounds pleased, as if he hadn't expected this aspect of my personality.
— Huntley Fitzpatrick
I shook my head back and forth as though I was a human etch-a-sketch, erasing the memory.
— Nicole Gulla
I got some tartar-control toothpaste a while back. I've still got tartar, but it's under control.
— Mitch Hedberg
2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."
— Henny Youngman
Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's a heavy mist before my eyes.
— James Stewart
Yes, I'm back," he said, "And look who I ran into."Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard."
"As hard as I could. — John Flanagan
I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
I feel no grief for being called somethingwhich
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski
When I was 12, I snapped my arm in two. My wrist still has a funny bump because they didn't join it back together so great.
— Jessica De Gouw
You win, you dirty evil butt-munch. I'll never not let you stay over again. Now let's go back to bed.
— Ethan Day
If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.
— Jim Carrey
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
Back from where? you're not going out again and leaving me here are you?? Holy Hercules I sound like somebody's wife
— Ruth Downie
When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back
— Rodney Dangerfield
I squinted at her. "You're an adult." "You're an adult too." "But you're an older adult. You've had more practice." Mom leaned back and laughed.
— Ilona Andrews
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
— Jimmy Carr
I survived a divorce, no children and come to Paris three days per week. My cat ran away on a love adventure; don't know when he will be back.
— Tionne Rogers
Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.
— Frankie Boyle
At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.
— Kristen Schaal
If I get killed, put my boots back on me.
— John Sandford
If I go back home to Wittenberg, I'll lie down in a coffin and give the maggots a fat doctor to eat.
— Martin Luther
You're only as sick as your secrets. Either it comes out their way or my way. I talk about myself behind my back. And I'm funny about it.
— Carrie Fisher
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
— Henny Youngman
I used to do drugs, but that was way back there.
— Dave Attell
She whistled when she noticed my back. I assume because of my injuries. I mean, my ass just isn't that spectacular.
— Lish McBride
Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"
— Henny Youngman
Back in my State, I'm very close to being able to control the weather. I'll be all-powerful, once I've figured that out.
— Brandon Sanderson
You're not eating the cheese, Frank says accusingly. And you're fucking my mom, I want to say back.
— Lauren Barnholdt
I started a novel right before 'The Imitation Game,' so it's funny now, four years later, to be coming almost back to finishing it.
— Graham Moore
Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back.
— Sandra Chami Kassis