I Believe Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational I Believe Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them? —
Leo Durocher

But I also happen to be someone who believes in tithing
the giving of a tenth . —
Ronald Reagan

I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real. —
Barry Watson

Some nice lady came over here with food for us all. She claimed to be your mother. I don't believe it
you're an asshole, and she's good people. —
Amy Lane

Sometimes they laugh at things I don't think are funny, but I believe if they're laughing at me, it's a good show. —
Mike Tyson

Bringing a pot plant to the office, I believe, is a sign of quite serious commitment. —
Danielle Wood

I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him. —
Ben Bailey

I don't believe in failure. I'm perseverant - I believe in failing. —
Bauvard

I don't believe in God, I only believe in Al Pacino, and that's the truth. —
Javier Bardem

I've done all the dumping, which is not a good thing. It's funny, because I married someone who has always done it as well. I believe I met my match. —
Josh Holloway

I'm a Leo. Leos don't believe in this astrology stuff. —
Tom Neff

Always keep a smile. I attribute my long life to that. I believe I will die laughing. That's part of my program. —
Jeanne Calment

How am I supposed to believe you when you're obviously carrying a fake monogram Gucci Bag? —
Madi Brown

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby. —
Criss Jami

Of course I do, Jack! You have to beLIEve me! —
Raymond Benson

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. —
Woody Allen

I believe our differences are the little pinches of salt that can make the marriage seem more flavorful. —
James E. Faust

I couldn't believe it. That was the first time I had ever seen somebody celebrate for a whole 40-second clock. That was ridiculous. —
Charles Woodson

I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't. —
Woody Allen

I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there. —
Jonathan Tropper

I don't believe in magic. —
J.K. Rowling

I have tried ... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies. —
Dylan Moran

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good. —
Howard Stern

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right. —
George W. Bush

Funny ... I still can't believe in God." "Does that matter now?" ... "He believes in you. —
A.J. Cronin

I no longer believe that just about everything is funny, if viewed from the proper angle. —
Tom Perrotta

Relaxed Empiricism
I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened. —
Bill Bailey

No way!" I yelled, taking it from him.
"I can't believe I made a pink knife."
"It's so cute! I love it. Finally, a companion worthy of Tasey. —
Kiersten White

I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. —
Eva Gabor

Jeffrey to Felicia - Given your peculiar fashions over the past four years, I'm afraid you've caused people to believe you're a little insane. —
Jen Turano

I can't believe I've missed this sport. It's all about fingering holes and caressing balls. —
K.A. Mitchell

I don't care if I'm funny. I just want people to believe I'm that guy. —
Jim Piddock

I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday ... unless there's a game on. —
Steve Martin

I don't believe in God, don't believe in the devil. Unless you want to count my mother. She might be Satan's sister, I suppose. —
Ellen Hopkins

I do not believe in any religion, I will have nothing to do with immortality. We are miserable enough in this life without speculating upon another. —
George Gordon Byron

I never lie. I believe everything I say, so it's not a lie. —
Mark Wahlberg

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends. —
Walt Whitman

I think religion is a funny thing because, when you see somebody who can really break it down, sometimes it feels foolish what you believe. —
Kevin Costner

I love being funny! I started in the theater when I was 9 and, believe it or not, always played the funny part! —
Robert Knepper

Simon gave her a startled look. 'I don't believe I have ever been condescended to by a woman before.' She shrugged. 'It was probably past time. —
Julia Quinn

I firmly believe that if you can't fool all of the people all of the time you should start breeding them for stupidity. - Weisshaupt —
Dave Sim

My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better —
Milton Jones