Home Funny Quotes
Collection of top 72 famous quotes about Home Funny
Home Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Home Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
This is one bar you should take home.
— Eugene Ormandy
Right now my favorite TV show - because it's too close to home - is 'My Name Is Earl.' That show kills me. There's some funny stuff in there.
— Rodney Atkins
After a time he fell asleep, and some unsteady fairies had to climb over him on their way home from an orgy.
— J.M. Barrie
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
— Alfred Hitchcock
It's funny. That feeling of home. It's so temporary, like bathwater: the warmth eventually grows cold.
— K.M. Alexander
I got a smoke alarm at home, but really it's more like a 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.
— Mitch Hedberg
I attacked him, he healed me, then he took me hunting, I threatened him, and he took me home. Wow. That was like a date.
— Juliann Whicker
The doctor's wife ate two apples a day, just to be safe. But her husband kept coming home.
— Joseph Gordon-Levitt
It's the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife.
— Charles Barkley
When I'm at home alone, I run up the stairs naked. It's quite funny.
— Louis Tomlinson
Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there.
— Chelsea Handler
'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'
— Tommy Cooper
There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed.
— Neneh Cherry
You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.
— Craig Ferguson
I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me.
— Daniel Dae Kim
It's a funny business. I kind of compare it to baseball. I'm always looking for a home run.
— Billy Mays
You see much more of your children once they leave home.
— Lucille Ball
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
— Henny Youngman
That awkward moment when you realize someone was actually home the whole time you were singing on the tops of your lungs.
— Kasey Collin P. Dumdum
War's a funny thing. Some men go off and come home again just fine. But there's some that come home and never do come back.
— Victoria Wilcox
I love the studio audience. That's where I feel the most at home. You know right away if you're being funny or not.
— Kaley Cuoco
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
— Groucho Marx
Can I buy you an ice cream beforeI take you home? I feel like it's the least I can do after scaring your shirt off.
— Tamara Summers
It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
It's not funny. I'm going to be miserable without you.""Then come home with me so you don't have to be. — Georgia Cates
What do you mean, "Not to worry, she's home safe with Skiboy"?What the hell is a "Skiboy"? — Meg Cabot
I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.
— Steven Wright
I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!
— Rodney Dangerfield
Mom, camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.
— Yvonne Prinz
I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.
— Lauren Myracle
I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff.
— Prince Philip
I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."
— Henny Youngman
It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
— Jimmy Carr
One of the fundamental rights of mankind should be that of wearing as many or as few clothes as one likes inside one's own home.
— Sachin Kundalkar
I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours.
— Chris Eigeman
I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
We all have that one friend that walks into your home like its their home
— Thabang Gideon Magaola
Tuck's home, so I suggest we use our indoor voices.
— Elle Kennedy
I've never walked home wearing just a pink robe and a pair of slippers.
— Jessica Sorensen
Agatha: "If you say anything smug or stuck-up or shallow, I'll have Reaper follow you home."Sophie: "But then I can't talk! — Soman Chainani
I'm good at blowjob.
— Lauren Baker
Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home," I say. "Katniss, I live three houses away from you," he says.
— Suzanne Collins
Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.
— Jerry Coleman
This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet, we've destroyed our home, so it is fundamentally important.
— Ross Perot
You know, if you play on home soil sometimes funny things can happen and you have that push of the crowd.
— Ruud Gullit
If I go back home to Wittenberg, I'll lie down in a coffin and give the maggots a fat doctor to eat.
— Martin Luther
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.
— Mitch Hedberg
What is this Sweet Home Alabama? You have a baby. In a bar.
— Kristen Proby
That home run ties it up, 1-0.
— Jerry Coleman
