Helen Fielding Quotes: top 73 famous quotes about Helen Fielding

Helen Fielding Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Helen Fielding quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Am going to cook shepherd's pie for them all - British home cooking. — Helen Fielding

Backlash, actually, by Susan Faludi, — Helen Fielding

You can't be ironic about dead people. — Helen Fielding

That is such crap. How dare you be so fraudulently flirtatious, cowardly and dysfunctional? I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. Goodbye. — Helen Fielding

Alcohol units: 5. Drowning sorrows. Cigarettes: 23. Fumigating sorrows. Calories: 3,856. Smothering sorrows in fat duvet. — Helen Fielding

Don't say 'what,' say 'pardon,' darling, and do as your mother tells you. — Helen Fielding

Bet I will become known as brilliant cook and hostess — Helen Fielding

Singletons should not have to explain themselves all the time but should have an
accepted status - like geisha girls do — Helen Fielding

I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. — Helen Fielding

I began to think I quite liked her really. It's always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself. — Helen Fielding

Work - once merely an annoying nuisance - has become an agonizing torture. — Helen Fielding

I like you very much. Just as you are. — Helen Fielding

Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs ... Mum ... Hi. — Helen Fielding

Is it just me or is Sunday a bizarre night for a first date? All wrong, like Saturday morning or Monday at 2 p.m. — Helen Fielding

E were always taught, instead of waiting to be swept off our feet, to 'expect little, forgive much'. — Helen Fielding

Bad enough when a man wanted to touch but could only look. Worse yet when he'd touched and not even noticed. — Helen Fielding

The point is you are supposed to vote for the principle of the thing, not the itsy-bitsy detail about this percent and that percent. — Helen Fielding

It was technological and black and thin and therefore Evil, but ... it was also a book. — Helen Fielding

10.35 p.m. Just pressssd d SEND. Issfineisn' tit. DO NOT TEXT WHEN DRUNK — Helen Fielding

I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect ... instead I choose Chaka Khan ... and vodka ... Bridget Jones — Helen Fielding

Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me. — Helen Fielding

I mean, I haven't rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone's aware of my existence in the world! — Helen Fielding

Emotional fuckwittage — Helen Fielding

Roxster, my photo is of an egg. — Helen Fielding

Why does turning on a TV these days require three remotes with ninety buttons? Why? — Helen Fielding

We cannot avoid pain, we cannot avoid loss. Contentment comes from the ease and flexibility with which we move through change. — Helen Fielding

Should Never,Ever have got involved with Men again. Had completely forgotten the nightmare of 'Why hasn't he called — Helen Fielding

Age of rationing ended some time ago and is now space rather than possessions which is in short supply. — Helen Fielding

One must not live one's life through men but must be complete on oneself as a woman of substance. — Helen Fielding

One has to be in control, otherwise the whole dynamic becomes a total disaster. — Helen Fielding

But the thing about having kids is: you can't go to pieces; you just have to keep going. — Helen Fielding

When someone loves you it's like having a blanket all round your heart ... — Helen Fielding

HARHARBLOODY HAR. Put that in your pipe hole and smoke it, society! — Helen Fielding

I hadn't been there ten minutes before there were three turds on the carpet. — Helen Fielding

I am brave, though I am alone. — Helen Fielding

Oh, darling, you can't go around with that tatty green canvas thing. You look like some sort of Mary Poppins person who's fallen on hard times. — Helen Fielding

Sink into morbid, cynical reflection on how much romantic heartbreak is to do with ego and miffed pride rather than actual loss — Helen Fielding

Where is the tuna? Where? Where? — Helen Fielding

When he's hot, he's hot; when he's not, he's not. But at least there is always food — Helen Fielding

Our culture is too obsessed with outward appearance, age and status. Love is what matters. — Helen Fielding

Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature - with — Helen Fielding

Maybe will go to yoga and become more flexible. Or maybe will go out with friends and get plastered. — Helen Fielding

Call me old-fashioned, but I did read in Glamour that one's shorts should always be longer than one's vagina. — Helen Fielding

It occurred to me that if Africa needed us, sometimes we needed Africa a great deal more. — Helen Fielding

I like you very much. Just as you are. Mark Darcy, Bridget Jones — Helen Fielding

I've had a lot of books rejected in my time. My first novel, which didn't get published, was, with hindsight, crashingly dull. — Helen Fielding

It is horrid to smirk. — Helen Fielding

Comedy tends to come out of things which are quite painful and serious. — Helen Fielding

Women today are bombarded with so many messages, like we should have Naomi Campbell's body and Madeleine Albright's career. — Helen Fielding

The whole bloody world's got a commitment problem.
It's the three-minute culture. It's a global attention-span deficit. — Helen Fielding

Is the whole world doomed to emotional trauma? — Helen Fielding

You only get one life. I've just made a decision to change things a bit and spend what's left of mine looking after me for a change. — Helen Fielding

My books have all generated controversy. — Helen Fielding

As Oscar Wilde says, thirty-five is the perfect age for a woman, so much so that many women have decided to adopt it for the rest of their lives. — Helen Fielding

Girls are so much nicer than men (apart from Tom-but homosexual). — Helen Fielding

I certainly think I'll end up writing about America in some form. I've taken plenty of notes. I like America very much. — Helen Fielding

It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals. — Helen Fielding

I will not Drink more than fourteen alcohol units a week. — Helen Fielding

Oh God, what's wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out? — Helen Fielding

It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage. — Helen Fielding

No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you. — Helen Fielding

I keep telling you, nobody wants legs like a stick insect. They want a bottom they can park in a bike in and balance a pint of beer on. — Helen Fielding

You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you wandered out of Auschwitz. — Helen Fielding

Nobody wants to be racist and I think that most people aren't. — Helen Fielding

I will not get upset over men, but instead be poised and cool ice-queen. — Helen Fielding

But if you are single the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else. — Helen Fielding

You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside. — Helen Fielding

mascara-ing her eyelashes with her mouth wide open (necessity of open mouth during mascara application great unexplained mystery of nature). "Don't — Helen Fielding

Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine year old off Twitter on the second date is not 'rather like in Jane Austen's day'. (Talitha) — Helen Fielding

This sort of, arrogant individualism which imagines each new generation can somehow create the world afresh. — Helen Fielding

Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes ... — Helen Fielding

I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second. — Helen Fielding

I'm no good at anything. Not men. Not social skills. Not work. Nothing. — Helen Fielding