Groucho Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Groucho
Groucho Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Groucho quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I always preferred Harpo to Groucho Marx.
— Lee Evans
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
— Groucho Marx
Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I'm glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
— Groucho Marx
Once I put it down I couldn't pick it back up.
— Gerald Massey
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
— Groucho Marx
But what makes wage slaves? Wages!
— Groucho Marx
If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
— Groucho Marx
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.
— Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that. — Groucho Marx
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"
— Groucho Marx
Goodreads is where introverts unite.
— Groucho Marx
Was that you or the duck?
— Groucho Marx
The only real laughter comes from despair.
— Groucho Marx
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
— Groucho Marx
Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.
— Groucho Marx
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
— Groucho Marx
If I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you!
— Groucho Marx
Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspective.
— John Lithgow
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
— Groucho Marx
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
— Groucho Marx
I hate London when it's not raining.
— Groucho Marx
With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.
— Groucho Marx
Do you mind if I don't smoke?
— Groucho Marx
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
— Groucho Marx
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
— Groucho Marx
Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
— Groucho Marx
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
— Groucho Marx
I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
— Groucho Marx
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
— Groucho Marx
My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs
— Groucho Marx
Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
— Groucho Marx
![Groucho Quotes By Groucho Marx: He [Harpo] loved life and lived it joyously](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/groucho-quotes-by-groucho-marx-679898.jpg "Groucho Quotes By Groucho Marx: He [Harpo] loved life and lived it joyously")
He [Harpo] loved life and lived it joyously and deeply and that's about as good an epitaph as anyone can have.
— Groucho Marx
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
— Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
— Anthony G. Oettinger
Humor is reason gone mad.
— Groucho Marx
It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going.
— Groucho Marx
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
— Groucho Marx
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
— Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
— Groucho Marx
Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
— Groucho Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
— Groucho Marx
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
— Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
— Groucho Marx
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
— Groucho Marx
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
— Groucho Marx
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
— Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
— Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
— Groucho Marx
What have future generations ever done for us?
— Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
— Groucho Marx
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
— Groucho Marx
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
— Groucho Marx
Budget: a way of going broke methodically
— Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
— Groucho Marx
Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?"Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight. — Groucho Marx
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
— Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
— Groucho Marx
Here's to our wives and girlfriends ... may they never meet!
— Groucho Marx
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
— Groucho Marx
I was born at a very early age. Before I had time to regret it, I was four and a half years old.
— Groucho Marx
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
— Groucho Marx
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
— Groucho Marx
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
— Groucho Marx
Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?""Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers! — Groucho Marx
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
— Groucho Marx
![Groucho Quotes By Groucho Marx: [Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/groucho-quotes-by-groucho-marx-353774.jpg "Groucho Quotes By Groucho Marx: [Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart.")
