Funny You Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny You
Funny You Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny You quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Hide your gold, your faith and the reason of you journey.
— Eduard Heine
I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing.
— Mitch Hedberg
Finn gave a soft laugh. 'What's so funny?' 'I think you're the first person to actually apologise for inflicting pain. Usually it's someone's hobby.
— Tabitha McGowan
You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.
— Harvey Diamond
Do try The House by fresh new author, Susannah Mansfield, it's funny, sad and very different, you'll love the characters and the stories.
— Susannah Mansfield
I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff.
— Todd Phillips
A good time for laughing is when you can.
— Jessamyn West
Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you ...
— W. H. Auden
The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.
— M.F. Moonzajer
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
Fuck you.""Promise? — Carole Cummings
That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny.
— Faye Kellerman
See you in the funny papers, he said. Jaunty, he reminded himself; always jaunty. In my panache is their hope for salvation.
— Michael Chabon
Giggler, I think I hate you most of all.
— Alice Clayton
Funny thing about prayers. God hears them. But you just never know if, when, or how He's going to answer them.
— Becky Wade
Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?
— W.C. Fields
The only real significance she had attached to the memory was that it was funny what stuck with you.
— David Foster Wallace
I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."
— Tim Vine
Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds.
— Dave Barry
Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary.
— Ari Graynor
To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.
— Milton Jones
Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby".
— Ronald Reagan
How much detention did you get?Two weeks. One per arsehole. — Stephanie Perkins
To do something funny, you have to have experienced it in real life and digested it in a way that amuses you.
— Ted Danson
I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good. What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'!
— Mitch Hedberg
Manners, boy. I'll beat them into you if I have to.
— Lori Foster
What are those bulb things you're slicing?""You've never seen fennel? It looks like celery and tastes like licorice. — Ken Jennings
You must be careful when you ask people whether they're happy; it's a question that can upset them a great deal.
— Francois Lelord
The funny thing about writing is I think a lot of people assume that you're sitting in a garret with a quill pen for hour after hour.
— Lincoln Child
Why it's simply impassible!Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?
Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! — Lewis Carroll
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there
— Will Rogers
You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet.
— Jules Barnard
You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you're smart, you'll end up as a comedian. If you're not, you'll end up as a clown.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.
— Michael Caine
I recommend you don't attend the wheat and chaff bonfire.
— M.J. McGuire
Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking."
— David Letterman
Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts.
— J.K. Rowling
Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.
— Betty White
Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet
Mom, how come you never go outside?""I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel
You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell.
— Heather Hildenbrand
Get in my way again, boy, and you're going to learn that Velkan isn't the only one in this family who has fangs. Retta to Viktor
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
Funny how God offers you everything you've asked for, only to force you to turn it away.
— Sunjeev Sahota
You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
— Don Rickles
Be careful, though.""Aren't I always?"
"No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless. — Veronica Roth
Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.
— Jonathan Tropper
Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
— Henny Youngman
You're impossible," she told him. "Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. — David Eddings
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.
— Caitlin Hale
Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.""Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger
I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline.
— Michael Summers
You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson
What did you want me to do? Ask him for money?
— Mariana Zapata
Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
— Zach Galifianakis
Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be, that's stupid. So be yourself
— Christina Grimmie
You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.
— Elaine Stritch
The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy.
— Harriet Morgan
I know you can be funny without being filthy.
— Jonathan Winters
Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you.
— Dave Barry
Bless your heart, they don't mindthey're exceedingly
kind
They don't blame you
as long as you're funny! — W.S. Gilbert
Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me!
— Rick Riordan
A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."
— Frank Carson
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
— Caskie Stinnett
It's funny what happens when you become a grandparent. You start to act all goofy and do things you never thought you'd do. It's terrific.
— Mike Krzyzewski
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
— Jeff Foxworthy
