Funny Soon To Be Married Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about Funny Soon To Be Married

Funny Soon To Be Married Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Soon To Be Married quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse. — Henny Youngman

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? — Steven Wright

God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married. — Jim Norton

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. — Elayne Boosler

Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure! — Oscar Wilde

You think batting your lashes is going to get you out of this?"

"Of course not. You're a married man, detective. — M. Kane

Oh the wonders of being married. Put a gun in one hand and a woman in the other, I'm never sure who's going to kill me first. — Michael W. Grimard

Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women. — Gloria Steinem

I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things. — Gilbert Gottfried

I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff. — Wendy Liebman

Opposities are married. — Ljupka Cvetanova

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along. — Groucho Marx

My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice. — Adam Ferrara

When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much. — Joel Barnett, Baron Barnett

Peyton, I'm not married and you're not a lesbian. Think of the possibilities. — Robyn Carr

It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married. — Regina King

I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed? — Henny Youngman

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. — Robert Frost

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. — Freddie Mercury

If we (Lauren and Jim) ever get married, we're just going to put helmets on, run into each other from a hundred yards, and smash together like rams — Jim Carrey

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot. — Minnie Pearl

Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies. — Nigella Lawson

It's funny when you get married, you do find other couples to hang out with. — Jennifer Lopez

'Married with Children' was racy. It was sexist. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was funny. — Katey Sagal

Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there. — Carol Leifer

Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you. — Kristen Schaal

There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!' — William Cosmo Monkhouse

Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series. — Bob Hope

One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern. — Chelsea Handler

And there's no "I love you" message because Steve Ovett has married the girl — David Coleman