Funny Sarcasm Quotes: top 63 famous quotes about Funny Sarcasm

Funny Sarcasm Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Sarcasm quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

When it rains it pours and when it shines you get melanoma. — Sol Luckman

I wouldn't be caught dead sacrificing myself for this country. — Sol Luckman

You're sure you didn't leave? Didn't try to explore Thunder Bay again, maybe go down to the park and, I don't know, dismember some poor jogger? — Kendare Blake

Child-- "I can't be patient, that's not a word, so don't even say it mommy."

Mommy-- "What? — Mel Brown

Sarcasm isn't at all funny when it's the truth — Colleen Hoover

Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I'm sorry I missed the meeting and hurt your little feely-weels okay? — Nenia Campbell

Brightness ... I believe you stray into sarcasm."
"Funny.I thought I'd run straight into it,screaming at the top of my lungs. — Brandon Sanderson

I understand that you don't want to marry me," I said. "I mean, I don't know why, since I'm simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste. — Merrie Haskell

You couldn't find your dick in the dark, you scheming, sleaze-mongering scumwad. — Nenia Campbell

So the reason I was struck again and again was because of my overwhelmingly positive energy. Funny, I'd always thought of myself as a pessimist. — Jennifer Bosworth

Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot. — Stephanie Perkins

So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient. — Nenia Campbell

You must be a blast on long car rides."
"Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic. — Nenia Campbell

Who the hell calls at two in the morning?"
"Maybe it's Matt Wilde, confessing his love," Lindsay says.
"Very funny, — Lauren Oliver

Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back. — Sandra Chami Kassis

Lea, you know you should never have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. — Christine Zolendz

You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss? — Nenia Campbell

We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters. — Sandra Chami Kassis

What exactly constitutes an emergency in a modelling agency? Two girls fighting to death with a hair straightener? — Kate Forster

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn't know, we would know. Men won't get this, but women will..because we KNOW — Karen Gibbs

It would be the last thing he did if he beat my dog. — Holly Hood

Double Sword Tavern." Tristan said, reading out loud. "Sounds charming and inviting. — B.C. Morin

Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to smell it. — K. Martin Beckner

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.'
'And yet it is still extremely funny. — Cecelia Ahern

Yeah, it's a kodak moment. Quick, take a picture.
Sarah scoffs. I stick my tongue out at her. — Annie Brewer

Push my buttons, and I'll push you off a bridge. — Karen Quan

Hello, Mrs. Tran ... I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars I asked for. — Nenia Campbell

History teaches us virtue, but nature never ceases to teachh us vice. — Ludwig Borne

Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all." -Crash — Hazel Blackthorn

Owr brave little shank! — James Dashner

I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Love is a fairytale blah, blah, blah. — Jessica Fortunato

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet. — Abraham Lincoln

You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet. — Jules Barnard

Sometimes we know people who are
too wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan

My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas

Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? — Hannah Harrington

She thinks you're stalking me."
"Why the hell would I do that? I see too much of your ugly mug as it is. — Margaret Watson

Men weigh love with hands. — Ljupka Cvetanova

It's a Christmas miracle. I had no tree. Now I have a forest. — Richelle Mead

Luke is the sort of boy Taylor Swift could at least three songs out of. — Beth Garrod

It's not hard to fail ... it's hard to accept you failed ... but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing — Josh Stern

Best to have only a few absolutely perfect trait - for example, my hair and eyes and sparkling personality - so you don't overwhelm. — Kiersten White

Ah, well, when you explain it like that, it seems obvious," said Mudge. "Of course, it always seems obvious once it's been explained. — Theodora Goss

I started rubbing my temples and she suggested I don't really get headaches. It just hurts me to think. — Kelley Armstrong

I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house? — Ljupka Cvetanova

She'd met Colin on a Monday.
She'd kissed him on a Friday.
Twelve years later.
She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic. — Julia Quinn

It's funny, ma'am, how sometimes you're so sarcastic but it doesn't sting."
"Because of my dimples. Dimples are a get-out-of-jail-free card — Dean Koontz

Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions? — L.J.Smith

What is your advice to young writers?"
"Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes. — Charles Bukowski

The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head. — Eoin Colfer

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much! — Ljupka Cvetanova

Nothing beats camping out in a dreary Jotunheim forest while your friend stitches runes on a giant bowling bag! — Rick Riordan

We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting. — Nenia Campbell

Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn't have the heart to tell my father. — Holly Hood

If you are reading this, I'm dead. Don't celebrate too much. Jesus is watching. — Katie Graykowski

Knives and candlelight," he said, "how romantic. — Nenia Campbell

We don't have dealings. He just stalks me. I'm popular like that. — Nenia Campbell

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson

I got an 'A' in Business Marketing in college!- as if that means a goddamn thing in the real world ... — Whitney Gracia Williams

Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'. — David C. Holley