Funny Person Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny Person

Funny Person Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Person quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

His chin looked as though a farsighted person had attempted to sew two thickly cut pieces of bacon together in a dark room. — Christopher Paul Curtis

Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK? — Orson Scott Card

I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school? — Cecily Strong

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. — David Brenner

Ethical dilemmas have a way of sneaking up on a person. If something smells funny, stay away from it. Or help get rid of it. — Price Pritchett

Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids — Harvey MacKay

How funny it is that the most unlikely person sometimes becomes your ally. — Simone Elkeles

Always warm up the audience with a joke ... If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke ... — Jacob M. Appel

A lot of reality shows tend to harp on the negative. The person isn't pretty enough or can't sing well enough or maybe isn't even funny enough. — Bruce Nash

A skeptic is a person who, when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it is a forgery. — Morris Bender

You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor. — Katie Nolan

The only person I compete with is Satan. If that happens to be you, then could you please move out of the way? You're standing in Christ's spot. — Shannon L. Alder

I'm not interested in being one of those comedians who wants to look good and be this 'cool' funny person. I don't care how weird or ugly I look. — Chris Lilley

Finn gave a soft laugh. 'What's so funny?' 'I think you're the first person to actually apologise for inflicting pain. Usually it's someone's hobby. — Tabitha McGowan

I don't think I'm a funny person in general. I have had to learn comedy. — Ashton Kutcher

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you. — Barack Obama

I had explained that a woman's asking for equality in the church would be comparable to a black person's demanding equality in the Ku Klux Klan — Mary Daly

Funny how it works out though that when you expect nothing from a person, they might just give you everything you didn't know you wanted. — Jamie Kain

I'm not a quick wit. I'm only funny on paper. I mean, I'm not totally humorless! It's just that in person, I'm not quite the way I am on paper. — Mary Roach

I am the shortest and least funny person in my family. — Heather Donahue

Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person. — Chris Rock

I've been fighting to be who I am all my life. What's the point of being who I am, if I can't have the person who was worth all the fighting for? — Stephanie Lennox

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. — Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself. — Chelsea Handler

He's the funniest, smartest person I know. It doesn't mean he doesn't bug me and I'm sure I bug him sometimes. — Sarah Jessica Parker

It's funny because being comedic and happy and lighthearted is who I am as a person, so they're easier emotions for me to connect with. — Lindsay Lohan

Haha, I can't hit you. If I did, I'd feel sorry for the person who'd have to clean up the mess of your splattered brain. — Kyousuke Motomi

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life? — Natasha Leggero

I'm actually a thin serious person but I play fat and funny, but only for the movies. — Dom DeLuise

You can't just explain a joke. Either it isn't funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline. — Cass McCombs

Being funny is one of the ultimate weapons a person can have in human society. — Jerry Seinfeld

The difference between you and the funny person on TV is that they acted on their ideas. — Rob Manuel

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on. — Betty White

It's funny how you can hear only a few cords from a song and it'll transport you back in time to a particular person or place. — Janelle Smith Toussant

When a fat person goes in the water naked, would it still be called skinny-dipping? — Anthony Liccione

One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute. — William Feather

Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"? — Frankie Boyle

There just is not one person in my family who is not funny. — Michael Keaton

One person may look and only see a tree, whereas others may look and see a tree with leaves. — Adrian Sandvaer

This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track. — Erin Mitchell

Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor. — Ellen DeGeneres

I'm not a person who can spontaneously say funny things. — Ashley Williams

My wife's a loving, funny, Irish-spirited person, and I'm still surprised at some of the things she says. She makes me laugh every day. — Gary Sinise

The funny thing is that I write and I act a lot about being Jewish, but I don't really think about it as a regular person. — Liev Schreiber

There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. — Tim Heidecker

It's funny how seeing another person hurt can break you down faster than your own emotions -Audrey — Suzanne Young

The presidency has a funny way of making a person feel the need to pray. — Barack Obama

The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice. — Joey Lauren Adams

I am always happy, because whenever I am sad I just know that somewhere, somehow, there is a person who is PUSHING a door that says PULL. — Auliq Ice

Life is strange and funny with many winding roads ahead ... but the roads of greed and hypocrisy will lead to a person's downfall each and every time. — Timothy Pina

Funny how a little sleep, a little makeup, and a lot of contemplating can make you feel like a different person - a stronger version of yourself. — Anna Banks

At this point I'm sure he's more plastic than person, but most people who hate wrinkles become Daleks over time, anyway. — Ashley Poston

It is easy to smile at an insult and pretend it's funny when the person insulting you is hosing you with money. — Al Alvarez

I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try. — Gabriel Iglesias

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? — Steven Wright

That was a funny thing about friends, Marylin thought. You could know a person practically your whole life and she could still surprise you. — Frances O'Roark Dowell

I love you because you loved me first. Yet you love me, saying I loved you first. Funny, our love thrives believing the other person started it. — Richelle E. Goodrich

A comedian is not a person who opens a funny door - he's the person who opens a door funny. — Chuck Jones

I never thought of myself as like, a funny person. — Lena Dunham

I just admire a funny, confident, sassy woman and hopefully I'm that person. — Denise Bidot

The only person who worries about my mother is God, and that's only because she wants His job. — Sue Civil-Brown

If there's a sexier sound on this planet than the person you're in love with cooing over the crepes you made for him, I don't know what it is. — Julie Powell

What kind of person doesn't let you have gummi bears? — Libba Bray

If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny. — Chris Rock

Because friendship is about laughing when the other person is joking to make you feel better. Even if you don't find her joke all that funny. — Padma Venkatraman

It's funny how there can be something special about that one person isn't it? — Marisa Calin

I just don't know what I'd do without a brain, Simone!" I say. "I mean, what's a person without one? — Randa Abdel-Fattah

People think it's funny when a dumb person can't do things the same way they can. — Daniel Keyes

You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be or the person they will be. — Samantha Stroh Bailey

It's funny how aimless a person can feel at times, even when they know God is in control. — Chris Fabry

In a funny way, I like the past, I'm a very nostalgic person. — Elle Fanning

Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out. — Rich Vos

You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused.
"No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same. — L.A. Casey

It's funny how you can know a person, think of him as your closest friend, and still never gain access to the secret chambers in his heart. — Jennifer Finney Boylan

It would be a really bad idea to let this person loose."

"How bad of an idea?"

"Kicking-Hitler-out-of-art-school bad. — Rin Chupeco

When you argue with someone, you always argue at the level of the person with the lowest level of intelligence. You never argue up. — Spuds Crawford

Making love to a person in their sleep is the only guarantee they'll wake up with a smile on their face. — Bauvard

Love is a funny thing. It can make you the happiest person in the world when it's good, but when it goes bad, it can crush you beyond recognition. — Courtney Giardina

Optimism isn't funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. It's exaggeration. — Steve Toltz

I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one. — Cameron Diaz

he hadn't killed or shagged even one single person in front of me - which I felt was a rather good indication of his superior character. — Hettie Ivers

When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them. — Ashish Chauhan

Sometimes charm can make a person blind to truth ... look at Ted Bundy. — Shelley K. Wall

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit! — Sharon Swan

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that. — Adam Sandler

Well, the funny thing is, you are never the same person that you were the day before. — Jon Foreman

I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. — George Carlin

Not being funny doesn't make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humor does. — David Rakoff

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person. — Janeane Garofalo

Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of. — Maya Angelou

A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it. — Ann Landers

Has anybody ever told you you're a remarkably cynical person?"
"I like to think of it as learning from experience. — Benedict Jacka

Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions? — L.J.Smith

Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them. — Daniel Tosh

Apparently when it's two people, it's quirky and funny, but when it's a person doing the same stuff on her own, it's rebellious and antisocial. — Katie Alender

It's rude to stare, but the great thing about staring at a sedated person is that they don't know you're doing it. — Maggie Stiefvater

You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else. — Steve Carell

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny. — Gilbert Gottfried

May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch — Keisha Keenleyside