Funny Mom Quotes: top 44 famous quotes about Funny Mom

Funny Mom Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Mom quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Funny Mom Quotes By Mark Buff: Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!" Michael Keaton

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!"
Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom — Mark Buff

Funny Mom Quotes By Casey Wilson: My parents are both super funny, and I

My parents are both super funny, and I always knew I wanted to be on 'SNL.' My mom and I would watch it a lot. — Casey Wilson

Funny Mom Quotes By Anthony Jeselnik: My mom's been having a hard time lately.

My mom's been having a hard time lately. She just found out that she has to have both of her breasts removed - if she's ever going to be good at golf. — Anthony Jeselnik

Funny Mom Quotes By Joyce Rachelle: How did I prepare for night shifts? When

How did I prepare for night shifts? When I was a small, anxious kid, I checked my mom in her sleep to make sure she was still breathing. — Joyce Rachelle

When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things. — Russell Brand

Funny Mom Quotes By Britney Spears: I performed at Mom and Dad's party when

I performed at Mom and Dad's party when I was four. Oh my gosh, I was singing a Madonna song, and I peed myself! — Britney Spears

Funny Mom Quotes By Hasil Paudyal: Congratulations to your mom and dad for birth

Congratulations to your mom and dad for birth of a sweet child!

Sorry that I couldn't wish them when you were born. — Hasil Paudyal

Funny Mom Quotes By Connor Franta: It's funny reading about how I behaved in

It's funny reading about how I behaved in the days before memories formed. So thanks for that input, Mom and Dad - wasn't so bad after all. — Connor Franta

Funny Mom Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield: My mom took me to a dog show

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!! — Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Mom Quotes By Danielle Joseph: Cake is for the weak, Mom always says.

Cake is for the weak, Mom always says. Funny, I thought it was for birthdays. — Danielle Joseph

Funny Mom Quotes By Rachel DeWoskin: Whenever anyone finds out there are seven kids

Whenever anyone finds out there are seven kids in my family, the imagine my mom and dad having sex. — Rachel DeWoskin

Funny Mom Quotes By Bob Saget: My dad's like, If your mom and I

My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars? — Bob Saget

Funny Mom Quotes By Jonathan Safran Foer: Fuck You!' [Oskar said] 'Exuse me!' [His mom

Fuck You!' [Oskar said] 'Exuse me!' [His mom said] 'Sorry. I mean, screw you.' 'You need a time-out!' 'I need a mausoleum! — Jonathan Safran Foer

Funny Mom Quotes By L.R.W. Lee: How do you know you're a mom? If

How do you know you're a mom? If you never have a Kleenex in your purse when YOU need it? L. R. W. Lee — L.R.W. Lee

Funny Mom Quotes By John Green: She's cute, I thought, but you don't need

She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom. — John Green

Funny Mom Quotes By Jacquelyn Nicole Davis: I DON'T KNOW! I HAVE NO FREAKIN' IDEA.

I DON'T KNOW! I HAVE NO FREAKIN' IDEA. I'M ONLY FIFTEEN. I want my mom. — Jacquelyn Nicole Davis

Funny Mom Quotes By Paula Pell: I grew up with an extremely funny dad,

I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny. — Paula Pell

Funny Mom Quotes By Robert Breault: There is a time early in life when

There is a time early in life when there seem to be countless reasons for happiness, and then you discover your mom is making them up. — Robert Breault

Funny Mom Quotes By Bauvard: Mom always said I was born to sit

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life. — Bauvard

Funny Mom Quotes By Alison Bechdel: Mom, how come you never go outside?""I told

Mom, how come you never go outside?"
"I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel

Funny Mom Quotes By Tina Fey: You know who DOES have a funny bone

You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar! — Tina Fey

Funny Mom Quotes By Erma Bombeck: Family life got better and we got our

Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate. — Erma Bombeck

Funny Mom Quotes By Daniel Nayeri: Waiters are the help, dear. It's like falling

Waiters are the help, dear. It's like falling in love with a blender! — Daniel Nayeri

Funny Mom Quotes By Yvonne Prinz: Mom, camping is not a date; it's an

Mom, camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. — Yvonne Prinz

Funny Mom Quotes By Trisha Yearwood: It's funny, the whole cooking thing came out

It's funny, the whole cooking thing came out of just a random thought of writing a cookbook with my mom and my sister for fun ... — Trisha Yearwood

Funny Mom Quotes By J. Lynn: Good, because if the guy isn't making you

Good, because if the guy isn't making you walk funny after sex, then probably isn't anything to write home to mom about. — J. Lynn

Funny Mom Quotes By Jamie Farrell: If my mom sees you here, she'll ---"

If my mom sees you here, she'll ---"
"Paper the walls with my innards while the innocents watch? — Jamie Farrell

Funny Mom Quotes By Rick Riordan: The Friday before winter break, my mom packed

The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school. — Rick Riordan

Funny Mom Quotes By Angelina Jolie: What's going to be funny is when they

What's going to be funny is when they think Mom and Dad are a little bit cool, because right now, we're not cool Mom and Dad. — Angelina Jolie

Funny Mom Quotes By George Lopez: At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance

At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom. — George Lopez

Funny Mom Quotes By Jamie McGuire: Look at him," she said, shaking her head.

Look at him," she said, shaking her head. "Travis Maddox: Mr. Mom. — Jamie McGuire

Funny Mom Quotes By Lauren Barnholdt: You're not eating the cheese, Frank says accusingly.

You're not eating the cheese, Frank says accusingly. And you're fucking my mom, I want to say back. — Lauren Barnholdt

Funny Mom Quotes By Kate Clinton: Moms Mabley said you have to say good

Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.' — Kate Clinton

Funny Mom Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Remember. Make him cry uncle.Cry uncle, my posterior.

Remember. Make him cry uncle.
Cry uncle, my posterior. I'm going to make him cry like a girl who broke her mom's designer heels at the prom. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Funny Mom Quotes By Eric Stonestreet: My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny

My mom's passionate and energetic and very funny and enthusiastic. — Eric Stonestreet

Funny Mom Quotes By George Lopez: Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops

Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi! — George Lopez

Funny Mom Quotes By Danielle Lee Zwissler: Mom let go of us and leaned back

Mom let go of us and leaned back so she could look us both in the eye. "No more spending the night in the tree fort, you two. — Danielle Lee Zwissler

Funny Mom Quotes By Martha Plimpton: It's not common for a woman on television,

It's not common for a woman on television, especially if she's the mom of the family, to be funny. She's usually a straight man or foil. — Martha Plimpton

Funny Mom Quotes By Angelina Jolie: That just sounds so funny, A-list. Really, I'm

That just sounds so funny, A-list. Really, I'm a mom, and that's how I'm going to be all my life. — Angelina Jolie

Funny Mom Quotes By Laura Benanti: My biggest influence is someone I really don't

My biggest influence is someone I really don't know at all: Tina Fey. Smart, funny, beautiful, self-deprecating, also a mom and a wife. — Laura Benanti

Funny Mom Quotes By Ilona Andrews: I squinted at her. "You're an adult." "You're

I squinted at her. "You're an adult." "You're an adult too." "But you're an older adult. You've had more practice." Mom leaned back and laughed. — Ilona Andrews

Funny Mom Quotes By Drew Carey: I was raised by just my mom. See,

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.. — Drew Carey

Funny Mom Quotes By Bill Watterson: I asked mom if I was a gifted

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me. — Bill Watterson

Funny Mom Quotes By Nyrae Dawn: You're doing fucking awesome, Colt whispers in my

You're doing fucking awesome, Colt whispers in my ear and I can't help but smile at that. Only he would use the word 'fuck' at my mom's funeral. — Nyrae Dawn