Funny John Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny John

Funny John Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny John quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes. — John Desmond Bernal

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. — John Mortimer

John Ford was so funny that I couldn't wait to go to work in the morning. — Richard Widmark

You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone. — John Madden

You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality! — John Green

Here's a guy who can use his arms and legs at the same time. — John Madden

Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto. — John Barrymore

To me, racist jokes are not funny. I am politically correct, in a weird way. I like to push the boundaries that are politically correct. — John Waters

You don't have paperwork," Savitri said. "You give it all to me." "Is it done?" I asked. "As far as you know, yes," Savitri said. — John Scalzi

They'll score if they can just get into the endzone. — John Madden

Nahum bobbed again. 'My crest is cropped by croaking cranes. I go to drown in doleful dumps, dead-drunk with drearihead. — John Bellairs

It's funny what people will do to be remembered. — John Green

If you lose your best cornerback and punter, I'd say that's a double loss. — John Madden

I opened the door. He looked down at my shirt and smiled. "Funny," he said.
"Don't call my boobs funny," I answered. — John Green

No headboards were broken. — John Green

Life is about more that quotes about life — John Chaplin

It's a mystery why certain people find certain things funny. — John C. Reilly

I feel like any time John Oliver is added to something, the comedy is instantly there. He's so funny. — Alison Brie

Diana Rigg is built like a brick mausoleum with insufficient flying buttresses. — John Simon

Yes it's her husband. She hasn't got over it. Died thirty years ago. — John Cleese

Why write about the past? Well, there's more of it. — John Cleese

If that was the last event of the night, it would have made a terrible ending. It was just the beginning, though. — John Duover

If you go to Bed Bath & Beyond without a coupon, people will wonder if you're OK. — John Pinette

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed. — John Cleese

Oh my god, I am a banana. — John Green

To be creative and spontaneous, you have to live with imperfection. — John Abercrombie

We were not actually famous, I have to add. People were just drunk. — John Duover

I can't see that it's wrong to give him a little legal experience before he goes out to practice law. — John F. Kennedy

It's too difficult to start right from scratch and try and be funny out of the blue. — John Cleese

She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom. — John Green

It'd be funny if one of them was called Gavin. Funny but irrelevant. — John Marsden

A good part's a good part. You can play serious and funny moments with a well-written role. — John Krasinski

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!' he screamed.
'So that's Sara,' I said.
'Yes.'
'She seems nice. — John Green

Remove yourself, sir! — David McCullough

The defense should be expecting a run or a pass here. — John Madden

Maturity does not always come with age; sometimes age comes alone. — John C. Maxwell

The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder. — Chic Murray

I find that when I tell lawyer jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don't think they're funny and the non-lawyers don't think they're jokes. — John Roberts

I don't like John Terry and I never have. He's got funny eyes and he's a cry baby. He's also a Cockney. — Noel Gallagher

She is funny without ever being mean. — John Green

I often say if men were meant to fly we would have been born with either feathers and wings or at the very least parachutes that pop out of our butts. — John Zakour

As long as you're excited about what you're playing, and as long as it comes from your heart, it's going to be great. — John Frusciante

I think I gravitate towards people who express themselves in a simple and funny way. — John Slattery

You arrogant little snot (John Hammond) — Michael Crichton

The thought of you being removed from the rotation is not funny to me. — John Green

I've always had a bit of a feminine aura, but I don't mind. Russell Brand has one, too. — John Duover

All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf. — John Wayne

It was an office of a guy who won't take spam from anybody. — John Zakour

Regarding creating a new work ... Sometimes you have to beat it like a red-headed step-child. — John P. Sousa

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting. — John Green

Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee. — John Madden

[W]ithout humour you cannot run a sweetie-shop, let alone a nation. — John Buchan

Heath Slater, or the chick from Wendy's — John Cena

When I die, I want it to say 'Short and Funny' on my tombstone. — John Requa

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. — John Wayne

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through! — George Lopez

Pretty nearly any stroke of fate can be made to look like a funny coincidence if you try hard enough and wait long enough. — John Wyndham

I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time. — John Hodgman

I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all. — John Hodgman

Bigots are actually funny to me in the way that people who still wear parachute pants give me a chuckle. — John Ridley

She never called her son by any name but John; 'love' and 'dear', and such like terms, were reserved for Fanny. — Elizabeth Gaskell

He might want to watch where he lands when tackling that guy, because he could really hurt his hand if it gets stepped on. — John Madden

I mean, we're ninjas."
"Well maybe you're a ninja," I said
"You're just a really loud, awkward ninja," Margo said, "but we are both ninjas. — John Green

That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on. — John Lambie

I thought that was a really childish idea. So I did it. — John Duover

I wish I knew how to quit you, Tumblr. — John Green

One minute, I was saying, "Hello, Mr. Bunny!" and smiling at its sweet little face and funny floppy ears. The next, the fucker savaged me. — John Cleese

The pigs can't stop the fox; I'm too quick,' Takumi said to himself. I can rhyme while I run; I'm that slick. — John Green

In order for this team to win the game, the quarterback has to throw the ball. — John Madden

I like drama. I love being in a drama where I get to be the funny guy. That's what I really love the most. — John Leguizamo

I see no women out here, and you're chanting about a male organ, now tell me who's the fruit booty? — John Layfield

I'm usually not the straight guy. I'm sometimes more the funny guy, depending on the situation. — John Kapelos

I know a lot of funny people in a lot of funny places. — John Mellencamp

He would have scored a touchdown if he hadn't been tackled right there. — John Madden

People are funny. They look down from all sorts of heights and then if the looking down has no effect they get unsure. — John McGahern

Offering Dragons quarter is no good, they regrow all their parts and come on again. They have to be killed. — John Berryman

How funny are dogs? — John Marsden

I had a funny feeling that day, all day: something about how much I liked my life and where I was with it. — John Darnielle

Funny, that. For so long Wormwood had desired the throne and then, when he'd had it, it hadn't been worth desiring after all. — John Connolly

Like the NRA says, it's better to have a machine gun and not need it than to need a machine gun and not have it. — John Sandford

When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well. — John Cleese

This one's for Alaska Young! — John Green

Tennis is a funny game; unbelievable highs and the lows are just as low. — John McEnroe

You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. — John Oliver

Magic Johnson is the best player who plays on the ground, and Michael Jordan is the best player who plays in the air. — John Paxson

It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves. — John Bulwer

If I get killed, put my boots back on me. — John Sandford

Methinks Sir Robert should have carried his Monarchical Power one step higher and satisfied the World, that Princes might eat their Subjects too. — John Locke

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death — John Oliver

I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream? — John Mulaney

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it. — Barack Obama

Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. — John Krasinski

Look," I said. "Something that needs your attention. Over there. Away from here. — John Scalzi

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky. — John Cleese

John Locke invented common sense, and only Englishmen have had it ever since! — Bertrand Russell

Pain has a funny way of focusing the mind. Only what hurts matters. — John C. Wright

I got me a fine wife and I got me old fiddle, when the suns coming up I got cakes on the griddle. And life ain't nothing, but a funny, funny riddle. — John Denver

I'm sure this is a diversionary ploy. But that doesn't mean it isn't real.
-Abe Sapien — John Arcudi

I'm telling you, Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interrupt you at his own funeral. — John Green

What I've always wanted to do is be as funny as possible. — John Cleese