Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes: top 31 famous quotes about Funny I'm Not Drinking

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny I'm Not Drinking quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Cynthia Voigt: Curled up, closed his eyes, and marched himself

Curled up, closed his eyes, and marched himself off, as if sleep were an actual place, like home, like the kitchen - a place a mouse could go to. — Cynthia Voigt

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Bob Hope: Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. — Bob Hope

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Molly Harper: Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs."
"I was curious! — Molly Harper

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Richard Pryor: I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got

I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety. — Richard Pryor

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Dave Moulton: Why is American beer served cold? So you

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. — Dave Moulton

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Steven Wright: I used to work at a health food

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job. — Steven Wright

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By David Richo: Bread takes the effort of kneading but also

Bread takes the effort of kneading but also requires sitting quietly while the dough rises with a power all its own. — David Richo

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By John Malkovich: Art is not disposable. If you want it,

Art is not disposable. If you want it, you have to hold it and smell it and touch it and read the credits and enjoy it and put it on your wall. — John Malkovich

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By John Duover: It was all fine until the girls started

It was all fine until the girls started drinking. (Everything is always fine up until that point.) — John Duover

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Ernest Hemingway,: A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death. — Ernest Hemingway,

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Erin Morgenstern: I think looking forward will be better than

I think looking forward will be better than looking back. — Erin Morgenstern

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Criss Jami: Drunken men give some of the best pep

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. — Criss Jami

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Hiroko Sakai: When you paint late at night, drinking beer

When you paint late at night, drinking beer or wine or both, you gotta be very careful to watch what you are doing ... — Hiroko Sakai

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Sarah Dalton: Yes, from drinking too much beer and generally

Yes, from drinking too much beer and generally being a tyrannical egomaniac. — Sarah Dalton

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Romola Garai: Acting is a strange job because your control

Acting is a strange job because your control is very limited. — Romola Garai

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Elizabeth Wurtzel: It's like Samson and Delilah: watch your back,

It's like Samson and Delilah: watch your back, because trouble could be the person you're sleeping with. — Elizabeth Wurtzel

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Josh Stern: You always miss 100% of the shots you

You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order — Josh Stern

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Lord Chesterfield: The only solid and lasting peace between a

The only solid and lasting peace between a man and his wife is, doubtless, a separation. — Lord Chesterfield

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Dave Barry: Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. — Dave Barry

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Nicholas Sparks: I've never been afraid of them. Not once.

I've never been afraid of them. Not once. Because I had you. — Nicholas Sparks

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Regina Griffin: Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero

Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking? — Regina Griffin

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Neil Gaiman: He looked like a small panther, and he

He looked like a small panther, and he moved like a patch of night. — Neil Gaiman

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Daniel Silva: So what are you planning to do with

So what are you planning to do with the rest of your life?
Develop a drinking problem. More Scotch, please. — Daniel Silva

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By George Burns: I don't have a drinking problem. I drink.

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem. — George Burns

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Ed Byrne: Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's

Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's the occasion? I was sober. — Ed Byrne

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By W.C. Fields: I certainly do not drink all the time.

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. — W.C. Fields

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Stonewall Jackson: I like liquor - its taste and its

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. — Stonewall Jackson

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Louis C.K.: One thing I learned from drinking is that

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December. — Louis C.K.

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Zach Galifianakis: You know you have a drinking problem when

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name
and you've never been to that bar before. — Zach Galifianakis

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Denis Leary: It became sort of a snowball effect, with

It became sort of a snowball effect, with guys trying to deal in their own way with 9/11, whether it was drinking or whatever, — Denis Leary

Funny I'm Not Drinking Quotes By Tamsyn Bester: We drink to those who love us, we

We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don't. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who don't! — Tamsyn Bester