Funny Dumb Quotes

I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job. — George H. W. Bush

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton. — Dan Duva

It was a sobering experience. — Lindsay Lohan

Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal, "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV? — Bruce Coville

When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work. — Jennifer Crusie

It's literally murder on the dancefloor. — Dermot O'Leary

If you think is was an accident, applaud. — Geraldo Rivera

With the history of us, a book wouldn't necessarily be the best thing. — Keisha Buchanan

I've always thought those guys are really funny. And I love Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin and Mary. — David Zucker

In any given situation there will always be more dumb people than smart people. We ain't many! — Ken Kesey

I have started smiling! I've mastered this smirk; it's a smile that isn't a smile. — Victoria Beckham

It's all right leaping about the stage when you're 20 but when you get to 25 it gets a bit embarrassing — Bill Wyman

It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day. — Lady Victoria Hervey

If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final. — Cyndi Lauper

I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are. — Natasha Leggero

We're going to move left and right at the same time. — Jerry Brown

There's the perception Danni Minogue is the sweetest little thing in the world but she's not ... she's got balls of steel. — Sharon Osbourne

Wasn't Winston Churchill the first black president of America? There's a statue of him near me ... that's black ... — Danielle O'Hara

We can't play stupid hockey, dumb hockey, greedy hockey, selfish hockey. We have to put the team ahead of our personal feelings. — Terry Crisp

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. — Vlade Divac

At the finish, it was all over — Jim Watt

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me. — Andre Dawson

Idiots are of two kinds: those who try to be smart and those who think they are smart. — Raheel Farooq

If you put it on the table as a bargaining chip, it becomes a bargaining chip — Ronald Reagan

If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours. — Paris Hilton

The clitoris contains 8,000 nerve endings. It makes it easy to have sex. With yourself. — Dannii Minogue

I miss being able to wake up when I want and go on stage when I want and pull down my pants when I want. — Mark Wahlberg

This is a great day for France! — Richard M. Nixon

I do not miss ITV, God no! Have you seen ITV lately? — Cilla Black

Acting is easier and smoother than singing - it's less drama. — Beyonce Knowles

Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir. — Charles Dickens

To have your niece die in your arms is the greatest gift from god. — Celine Dion

The na at the end of banana annoys me as much as it would you if it were bananana. — Lance Manion

My second hit was a flop. — Shakin' Stevens

Did you write the words, or the lyrics? — Bruce Forsyth

There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964. — Roger Daltrey

Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty."
Gideon Wyeth:"Why?"
Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty. — Orson Scott Card

I'm not a sexual person, really. I don't really care about sex. — Paris Hilton

If I could go into the woods and kill a bear myself, I'd wear it proudly as a trophy. — Nigella Lawson

Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be, that's stupid. So be yourself — Christina Grimmie

I cannot tell you how grateful I am - I am filled with humidity. — Gib Lewis

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf. — Oscar Wilde

So, how did you all meet? — Donna Air

Isn't it weird that I'm getting all emotionable? — Jessica Simpson

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!! — Rodney Dangerfield

People think it's funny when a dumb person can't do things the same way they can. — Daniel Keyes

It's not so much a thankless task, it's more a job with no thanks — Colin Baker

No one will need more than 637Kb of memory for a personal computer — Bill Gates

I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes. — Richard M. Nixon

I'm like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen. — Katy Perry

The Nazis were seldom dumb and never funny. — Leonid Kinskey

I've been up and down so many times that I feel as if I'm in a revolving door. — Cher

A week is a long time in politics, and three weeks is twice as long. — Rosie Barnes

Sometimes what I actually love to do is go to a farm and get fresh milk or watch a pig get slaughtered. — Jake Gyllenhaal

And he nipped them in the bud, right at the end — Bob Holness

Eskimos are uncivilised because they don't have any shops. — Jodie Marsh

For those of you haven't read the book, it's being published tomorrow — David Frost

This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet, we've destroyed our home, so it is fundamentally important. — Ross Perot

Dress like Britney Spears and think like me, and everything will be fine. — Madonna Ciccone

Richard Burton had a tremendous passion for the English language, especially the spoken and written word — Frank Bough

As humans we speak one language ... — Avril Lavigne

I'm a guy. Unless the dirt attacks first, I leave it in peace. — Katie Graykowski

You can hardly tell where the computer models finish and the real dinosaurs begin — Laura Dern

Where the hell is Australia anyway? — Britney Spears

Thats not a place where I'm considered good-looking. — Mark Hoppus