Funny Doctor Quotes
Collection of top 40 famous quotes about Funny Doctor
Funny Doctor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Doctor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!
— Henny Youngman
Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"
— Frank Carson
Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life.The Doctor: Believe me ... It was an accident. — Steven Moffat
The doctor's wife ate two apples a day, just to be safe. But her husband kept coming home.
— Joseph Gordon-Levitt
"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
— Henny Youngman
It's funny: when I first started getting vocal about how much I liked 'Doctor Who,' I didn't realize how deep the fan base was.
— Chris Hardwick
A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
— Tommy Cooper
I recently bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back, Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the TV!
— Milton Jones
The plan is to marry a doctor, It's either that or become a trolley-dolly and hit on a pilot.
— Ken McClure
If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.
— Hippocrates
Behind every good decathlete, there's a good doctor.
— Bill Toomey
I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."
— Tim Vine
"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"
— Henny Youngman
Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.
— Anthony Jeselnik
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
— Henny Youngman
You're FAT - and don't try to sugarcoat it, because you'll just eat that, too.
— Phillip C. McGraw
I'm now 'Doctor' to the patients and I have to cover my ignorance by waving my arms and looking grave.
— Howard Florey
Unhealthy behavior is actually common among doctors, who tend to know a lot about medicine but very little about health.
— Sol Luckman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"
— Henny Youngman
The Doctor: I've seen bigger.Clara: Really?
The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive! — Steven Moffat
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
— Spike Milligan
If I go back home to Wittenberg, I'll lie down in a coffin and give the maggots a fat doctor to eat.
— Martin Luther
The cybernetic operation?""No, the sex change."
The doctor's smile faltered.
"I'm joking. — Marissa Meyer
The doctor asked me recently how I was feeling within myself, I replied, "absolutely fine doctor, but I'm terribly lonely without myself.
— Benny Bellamacina
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.No one's immune to bribery. — Joanne Harris
Funny thing- Morgenstern's folk's were named Max and Valerie and his father was a doctor.
— William Goldman
I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!
— Rodney Dangerfield
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
— Henny Youngman
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway.
— Solange Nicole
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
— George Burns
I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!
— Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, doctor. I think I'm sick I need some penis-cilin. I fake cough again into my hand.
— S.K. Logsdon
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
— Henny Youngman
