Funny Dark Quotes

Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny Dark

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Funny Dark Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Dark quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Funny Dark Quotes By Christopher Paul Curtis: His chin looked as though a farsighted person His chin looked as though a farsighted person had attempted to sew two thickly cut pieces of bacon together in a dark room. Christopher Paul Curtis
Funny Dark Quotes By Dannika Dark: Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you'll never get your balls back. - Simon Hunt Dannika Dark
Funny Dark Quotes By Rachel Caine: Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. Hey, Dark Princess? Here's your crap. Also, bite me. Rachel Caine
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am! Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Mark R. Brand: For every guy who loves being a dad, For every guy who loves being a dad, there's another who realizes too late that he's created something his wife loves more than him. Mark R. Brand
Funny Dark Quotes By Krista Alasti: I can be a gentleman off and on. I can be a gentleman off and on. When the urge hits me. - Tran Krista Alasti
Funny Dark Quotes By Craig Charles: The inventory process and stepping back in your The inventory process and stepping back in your life can sometimes be a very dark process. But it also can be extremely funny and surprising. Craig Charles
Funny Dark Quotes By Nenia Campbell: Knowledge is a rope, and you're weaving a Knowledge is a rope, and you're weaving a noose out of it. Leave some slack for the enemy. Nenia Campbell
Funny Dark Quotes By Kenneth Oppel: You two were in a cave together?' said You two were in a cave together?' said Miss Simpkins in horror.
'Yes,' said Kate, 'and it was very, very dark.
Kenneth Oppel
Funny Dark Quotes By Rachel Dratch: Many comedians have a dark side that lets Many comedians have a dark side that lets them take a negative thing and turn it funny. Rachel Dratch
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Khloe Kardashian: The funny thing is that everyone thinks I'm The funny thing is that everyone thinks I'm naturally dark because all of my siblings are, but I'm naturally dirty blond. — Khloe Kardashian
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I make love like a snake disguised as I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn't talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Ben Aaronovitch: I saw a dark void under the platform I saw a dark void under the platform and had just enough time to think: Fuck me he's a earthbender. — Ben Aaronovitch
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: She gave me money to buy condoms, and She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That's life. That's love. That's fiscally irresponsible. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By David Sedaris: What other people call dark and despairing, I What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. — David Sedaris
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: If you have the woman you love, what If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Love is like encountering a forest and having Love is like encountering a forest and having to chop down every tree but one. Oh, and you have to chop down each tree by hugging it until it falls. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Arthur Darvill: I think 'Breaking Bad' is brilliant. Good drama I think 'Breaking Bad' is brilliant. Good drama in the U.S. is also so funny and blurs the line between light and dark. — Arthur Darvill
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: In bed, I can go for hours. Oh In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Jim Henson: Cara: *Flies*Gen: What? I don't have wings!Cara: Ofcourse Cara: *Flies*
Gen: What? I don't have wings!
Cara: Ofcourse not! You're a boy. — Jim Henson
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I make love with a focus and intensity I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: We made love like green is blue. That's We made love like green is blue. That's because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I make love like sausage is to bacon I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor Oil). — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Jane Dentinger: Only criminals and madmen walk into Central Park Only criminals and madmen walk into Central Park after midnight...or, occasionally, an actor. (Dark City Lights) — Jane Dentinger
Funny Dark Quotes By Mark Twain: I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: To find out if she really loved me, To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Julianna Baggott: I don't know when I'm writing dark. I I don't know when I'm writing dark. I don't know when I'm writing funny or even heartbreaking. I'm always just trying to write it true. — Julianna Baggott
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: My love's got a lot of love to My love's got a lot of love to give. Unfortunately, she gives none of it to me. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Adam Gidwitz: Once upon a time, fairy tales were AWESOME! Once upon a time, fairy tales were AWESOME! — Adam Gidwitz
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle - and mine just got stolen. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Krist Novoselic: The perception of him as brooding and dark The perception of him as brooding and dark and miserable, that is baloney. Kurt Cobain was a funny dude. — Krist Novoselic
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Let me be clear: I don't want to Let me be clear: I don't want to make love to a mannequin - I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I make love like never, only less often. I make love like never, only less often. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By J.M. Richards: For someone who wrote a novel with a For someone who wrote a novel with a superhero named "Dark Lightning," you wouldn't think a thunderstorm would make me so nervous. — J.M. Richards
Funny Dark Quotes By Julie Kagawa: Yes!" it exclaimed, bouncing up and down, its Yes!" it exclaimed, bouncing up and down, its ears flapping like sails. "Yes, you hear me! Razor found you! Found girl and funny dark elf. — Julie Kagawa
Funny Dark Quotes By Pippa DaCosta: You think this is funny?" I snorted. "You You think this is funny?" I snorted. "You would. Your sense of humor is so dark, even the lesser demons don't get you. — Pippa DaCosta
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Love is meant to be sipped, rather than Love is meant to be sipped, rather than chugged, like a glass of wine you drink strait from the bottle. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Janette Rallison: Blackmailers never explain their thinking. They're like pirates Blackmailers never explain their thinking. They're like pirates that way. Dark-hearted, dangerous
and cool like Johnny Depp. — Janette Rallison
Funny Dark Quotes By Patrick Rothfuss: I was one of those. I meddled with I was one of those. I meddled with dark powers. I
summoned demons. I ate the entire little cheese, including the rind. — Patrick Rothfuss
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Erin Mitchell: This isn't where I intended to be. Killing This isn't where I intended to be. Killing a person has a funny way of getting your life off-track. — Erin Mitchell
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Edgar Rice Burroughs: I had aimed at Mars and was about I had aimed at Mars and was about to hit Venus; unquestionably the all-time cosmic record for poor shots. — Edgar Rice Burroughs
Funny Dark Quotes By Rachel Zucker: I am only able to be honest. And I am only able to be honest. And sometimes my view of the world is pretty dark. But still funny. — Rachel Zucker
Funny Dark Quotes By Patrick Thomas: Life's funny that way, kind of like a Life's funny that way, kind of like a dad who thinks it's hilarious to tie his kid up in a dark closet and leave him there for the weekend. Yeah, — Patrick Thomas
Funny Dark Quotes By Dannika Dark: So I flirt with disaster once or twice. So I flirt with disaster once or twice. Who doesn't?"
He snorted. "You don't just flirt with disaster, you have intercourse with it. — Dannika Dark
Funny Dark Quotes By Dannika Dark: I was beginning to think that Simon just I was beginning to think that Simon just had a bad case of OCD, ADD, and PMS. With a little BS and OMG mixed in. — Dannika Dark
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I unwrapped my love for her like one I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Nathan Hassall: Knives are sharp, but are equally confusing. Knives are sharp, but are equally confusing. — Nathan Hassall
Funny Dark Quotes By Marc Maron: I'm not against people just being funny or I'm not against people just being funny or telling stories. I don't need to delve into the soft, dark core all the time. If it happens, it happens. — Marc Maron
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I am in love, and the river is I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I'd better go drown myself before I freeze to death. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Lance Armstrong: It's funny, because I have periods where I It's funny, because I have periods where I just kind of go dark. I don't tweet, I don't talk, I don't interview, and then I have times where I do. — Lance Armstrong
Funny Dark Quotes By Terry Pratchett: Whole new theories of money were growing here Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit. — Terry Pratchett
Funny Dark Quotes By Amelia Hutchins: Funny how growing up can change your opinion Funny how growing up can change your opinion of being afraid of the dark and afraid of the bills. — Amelia Hutchins
Funny Dark Quotes By Colleen Doran: I don't like sleeping in the dark jungle I don't like sleeping in the dark jungle by myself.
Ren — Colleen Doran
Funny Dark Quotes By Rob Thurman: The guy had guts - I had to The guy had guts - I had to give him that. Later on I was hoping for a first-hand look at them. — Rob Thurman
Funny Dark Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do? — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Funny Dark Quotes By Dannika Dark: I never arrive unannounced without something big and I never arrive unannounced without something big and juicy in hand.
- Simon Hunt — Dannika Dark
Funny Dark Quotes By Fakeer Ishavardas: My condolences, you're still alive. My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas
Funny Dark Quotes By Moon Unit Zappa: I think I have a dark view of I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad. — Moon Unit Zappa
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Love is bread and water to the soul. Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By David Baldacci: Dark, cool, musty, smoky, where light fell funny Dark, cool, musty, smoky, where light fell funny and everyone looked like someone you knew or wanted to know. Or, more likely, wanted to forget. — David Baldacci
Funny Dark Quotes By Cameron Diaz: I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one. — Cameron Diaz
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: She asked if I loved another woman, so She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Kady Cross: You want a torch or a candle, maybe? You want a torch or a candle, maybe? You've got your head so far up your own arse, it must be dark in there. -Sam — Kady Cross
Funny Dark Quotes By Upamanyu Chatterjee: Well, life is dark, isn't it? Mostly, it's Well, life is dark, isn't it? Mostly, it's dreadful. At the same time, death is funny too. I mean, look at the fuss we make of it. — Upamanyu Chatterjee
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I love like I'm thirsty. Can I offer I love like I'm thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand? — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Love is a banana. First you peel it, Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Krista Alasti: Just shut up and talk. - Shella Just shut up and talk. - Shella — Krista Alasti
Funny Dark Quotes By Anne Stuart: I lied. I do that, you know, when I lied. I do that, you know, when it suits me. I would have thought you'd realized that by now. — Anne Stuart
Funny Dark Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Thorn. Good demon overlord. Thorn. Good demon overlord. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Funny Dark Quotes By Elaine Kagan: The dimple in his left cheek was ironic-it The dimple in his left cheek was ironic-it gave the impression that he was sweet as a cupcake. (Dark City Lights) — Elaine Kagan
Funny Dark Quotes By James Hetfield: It's all fun and games until someone loses It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's fun and games you can't see anymore. — James Hetfield
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: The only time I drink milk is when The only time I drink milk is when I drink coffee. I make love the same way - contributing 2% as I just sort of lay there. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Eve Kagan: That was 1993 grunge in suburbia. This was That was 1993 grunge in suburbia. This was 2003 hell in Harlem. (Dark City Lights) — Eve Kagan
Funny Dark Quotes By Billy Collins: Discovering Samuel Beckett in college was a big Discovering Samuel Beckett in college was a big deal for me. I realized you could be very funny and very dark at the same time. — Billy Collins
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Our love was a two-person game. At least Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I love being in love, but I also I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I love full on, like 65 mph in I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Brett Gelman: I think that life is very dark at I think that life is very dark at times and there are things that are very funny about that. — Brett Gelman
Funny Dark Quotes By Terry Pratchett: If per capita was a problem, decapita could If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged — Terry Pratchett
Funny Dark Quotes By Dannika Dark: No, it's fine. I know you're late. Maybe No, it's fine. I know you're late. Maybe we can talk tomorrow, but I'm going to be in and out all day."
"That's what he said," she purred. — Dannika Dark
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: If I could bronze my love, it'd be If I could bronze my love, it'd be worthy of a silver medal. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Dark Quotes By Nadia Hashimi: Funny, isn't it? We hear the same name Funny, isn't it? We hear the same name and while they see dark, I see light. — Nadia Hashimi
Funny Dark Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: I make love like farm equipment - not I make love like farm equipment - not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can't tell it. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo