John Waters Quotes

There is right and there is wrong, I have NEVER been wrong.

I understand why people want to look up their friends - usually they want to see what people they've wanted to have sex with look like.

I didn't become a drug addict because I always had to make a movie.

I like the word 'underground' ... 'independent' carries a stigma of whininess. 'Underground' means a good time.

Remember: you must participate in the creative world you want to become part of.

You see a kid making a film on a cell phone. He doesn't know what he's doing either. But it comes out kind of good.

Without Obsession, Life Is Nothing

To me, racist jokes are not funny. I am politically correct, in a weird way. I like to push the boundaries that are politically correct.

I don't like heroin, unless you're a jazz musician and then you have to be on it because jazz is the sound of heroin.

To me, beauty is looks you can never forget. A face should jolt, not soothe.

There was a cultural war going on, the '60s was going on. All the film critics were square.

Nora Ephron's great line that overtipping only costs a few dollars more.

Fame is protection if you go to a scary place. Fame is fun. A lot of people don't say anything and you don't know they know who you are.

I look out through the eyeholes and feel exactly the way Michael Jackson's son Blanket must have felt

I get dumber as the day goes along. Every second of the day that goes along, I get stupider.

The Easter Bunny is a major reason for heroin addiction in America.

Some call me director, producer, filmmaker. I prefer to call myself pube-king.

I'm so lucky to be having a happy childhood as an adult.

Going to a sensational murder trial is the only way I can relax.

I haven't committed all the crimes in my movies, I would have gotten the death penalty many years ago if I had.

Don't sleep with people who don't read.

I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it.

Just because something 'happens', because it is 'true', because the 'facts' are correct, does not ensure that it is the truth.

I couch-surfed for years. But I always wanted to live in Baltimore; I still do. If I had to choose, it would always be Baltimore.

I live in San Francisco, I live in Provincetown. They're all the same, apart from Baltimore. Baltimore's the only cheap place left.

Time marches on and I don't care how people watch my movies as long as they see them. I don't care if they're on their phone.

It delights me to find something that kids are doing that surprises me that seems new. That's the best feeling you can have.

Contemporary art hates you.

I could never kill myself. I approve of suicide if you have horrible health. Otherwise it's the ultimate hissy fit.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

Watching a movie should be like hunting. Out of context, every image of the cinema is yours for a split second. Take them before they bury it.

The further away I am from water, the less well I do!

I always say you need something weird on your face and some good shoes and nobody looks in the middle.

To understand bad taste one must have very good taste.

And I seek people who break rules with happiness - and not bringing pain to themselves.

I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life.

Go out in the world and fuck it up beautifully.

Everybody should wish they had home movies of themselves, acting out their lunacy on LSD.

I never thought I'd be 52 years old. I don't think that anybody at 16 thinks like that.

I haven't changed - the public has. I'm an insider now, which is hilarious.

If your kid comes out of the bedroom and says he just shut down the government, he should have an outfit for that.

Isn't that the most perverse thing you've ever heard?

It reinforced everything that I believe. I am an optimist. I believe in the goodness of people.

People always ask me what I'm doing on the subway, but I love it! Sometimes I like to ride in the front car and look out the window at the rats.

Yeah, I know I should be fighting for gay rights, but who wants to join the army or get married anyway?

I would never do hard-core pornography, because it looks too much like open-heart surgery.

But my abortion politics are simple. If you can't love your child, don't have it, because it will grow up and kill me.

I tried heroin. I shot up in high school, but I just thought it was so dreary: puking and nodding.

I think I technically learned some things, hopefully. But I go to the movies for characters and story and a berserk vision.

I think [parents] became very proud, even though they were mortified by the early films because no one liked them.

Which she makes no move to clean up, I'm not sure what

Nothing is more impotent than an unread library.

Ever feel like killing somebody just to see if you could get away with it? Sure, you have. Everybody has little things that get on their nerves.

I've signed peoples' parole cards at book signings and it's very touching.

No comedy should be longer than 90 minutes. There's no such thing as a good long joke.

When I was young, no one wanted to be one; now even the President of the United States would call himself an outsider. So now I'm for insiders.

I think that in America there is a new movement of underground movies that wants to kick the ass of independent films that they think whine too much.

I want to be harder to reach, not easier.

Shutting down governments on your computer is just as much as fun as going to a riot at Yale.

If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!

True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

Sometimes I wish I was a woman, just so I could have an abortion.

Fantasies are like extra cash. They need to be banked for later use.

Life is nothing if you're not obsessed.

I'd rather have a daughter in a whorehouse than a son in the police force,' Esther used to rage to anyone who would listen.

I'm here today because of LSD. LSD gave me the confidence to be who I am today. Completely.

There's a prison there, too, which always makes me feel included.

I mean, what is prison, really, except a good bar without the liquor?

I think that nobody gets mad at me anymore, no matter what I say, because I don't think I'm mean. I am interested in what's next.

People vomitied at my movies; not because of the movie but because they were drunk. I took credit anyway.

I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy.

I'll have pot in my home for guests - I'm polite! - but I don't sit around and smoke by myself, ever. Not like I did when I was young.

If you ever go home with somebody and they don't have books in their house, don't sleep with them. I think that's very important.

I believe that if a seven-year old kid has heard of Naked Lunch and is daring enough to want to read it, he's old enough to read it.

[My catholic education] sticked with me. It caused the rage I had to make 'Pink Flamingos.'

We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them.

Not wanting anyone to pop my bubble by speaking to me, I immediately began reading Lesbian Nuns, and that did the trick. No one attempted small talk.

Keep up with what's causing chaos in your own field.

If I died tomorrow I've accomplished what I set out to do in my life. I enjoy making my movies, I enjoy doing what I do. I have a nice life.

I don't believe in depression. There's no such thing. It's an invention. It's bullshit, it's a cop out.

My hobby is extreme Catholic behavior
BEFORE the Reformation.

Life is a rotten lottery.

When I started making movies about weird people, I knew they were weird, I was infected with irony, and I wanted New York to notice.

Get on the fashion nerves of your peers, not your parents - that is the key to fashion leadership.

I would describe myself as a writer that hopes to take you into my world and help you feel a little safer.

I make independent movies. I don't know how to do anything else. I don't know any other job that I could really get.

The only time I had a normal boyfriend was during the time of AIDS, so maybe that saved me. It's certainly not karma.

Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends' insane behavior, or better yet, your own.

Being a traditionalist, I'm a rabid sucker for Christmas. In July, I'm already worried that there are only 146 shopping days left.

I think social justice is important. I think it's not fair.

I never rewatch the great films of my favorite directors because I'm afraid they won't hold up.

The only insult I've ever received in my adult life was when someone asked me, "Do you have a hobby?" A HOBBY?! DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING DABBLER?!

Stop blaming your parents. If you're really angry at 60 years old, you're an idiot! You've got to work some of it out.

I always wanted to be a juvenile delinquent but my parents wouldn't let me.

Technique is nothing more than failed style.

Wealth is walking into any bookshop and buying any book you want without looking at the price tag.

As far as socially redeeming value, I hope I don't have any.

Humor is how you change people's opinions, and if you can make someone laugh, they'll listen, even if they hate you.

I was as equally influenced by Bergman as I was [low-budget sexploitation filmmaker].

If you can make someone laugh who's dead set against you, that's the first step to winning them over to your side.