Funny Children's Quotes
Collection of top 76 famous quotes about Funny Children's
Funny Children's Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Children's quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
— Evan Esar
I had no idea what they were saying in Italian as a child, they spoke too quickly on the radio. But I realized that language was very funny.
— Dominic Chianese
If we all learnt cat-speak, we would often find they are saying, "You stupid human, I am trying to tell you something important right now!
— Leah Broadby
As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling.
— Mary Wortley Montagu
Never have more children than you have car windows.
— Erma Bombeck
I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
— Zach Galifianakis
It's a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.
— Alan Alda
Children have an easier ability to tap into the surreal than adults do, in a funny kind of way.
— Julie Taymor
I am an only child. I have one sister.
— Woody Allen
Animals raise their children, too. I don't know why they keep them around. Kill 'em and be done with it.
— Liz Braswell
People worried too much about their children. Suffering when you're young is good for you. It immunized your body and soul ...
— Jeannette Walls
You see much more of your children once they leave home.
— Lucille Ball
All my children inherited perfect pitch.
— Chevy Chase
I was a poster child ... for birth control!
— Rodney Dangerfield
Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt.
— S.K. Tremayne
I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
— Woody Allen
I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.
— Nancy Astor
It'll leave you feeling hollow and helpless, and there is where you'll stay. Ain't it funny child, love sometimes leaves you as dead as yesterday.
— Zakk Wylde
So Carol, you're a housewife and mother. And have you got any children?
— Michael Barrymore
As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.
— Milton Jones
Love? Love is for children and poor people...
— Molly Harper
I like children - fried.
— W.C. Fields
What does Christmas mean if we can't encourage small children to sit on a stranger's lap?
— Ian O'Doherty
Marriage is nature's way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child.
— Robert Breault
I grew up in a little funny town called Xuzhou, in the countryside, very poor. We didn't have hot water. We were four children: three girls and a boy.
— Wendi Deng Murdoch
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
— Jimmy Carr
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.
— Socrates
Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'
— Russell Howard
Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.
— Bauvard
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
— Bill Hicks
It is a sign of immaturity to believe that being older than someone (automatically) makes you more (mentally) mature than them.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It's especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.
— Sean Covey
There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about.
— Criss Jami
We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
— Mort Sahl
I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material!
— Wesley Snipes
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
— Bill Watterson
Children think sex is funny
— Joe Brainard
Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.'
— Dylan Moran
The thing about being a screenwriter, scriptwriter, scenarist, You get to have multiple personalities and not be charged.
— Andrea L'Artiste
Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense
— Lucille Clifton
Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy's lap was already creepy enough. We didn't need to mix alcohol into it.
— Richelle Mead
Poems for children help them celebrate the joy and wonder of their world. Humorous poems tickle the funny bone of their imaginations.
— Charles Ghigna
'Married with Children' was racy. It was sexist. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was funny.
— Katey Sagal
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
— Samuel Butler
Sometimes it's good to be the smartest rat in the sewer.
— Michael Houbrick
First of all, I find everything funny, which is upsetting to my children sometimes, and to people in my life, in general.
— Jenji Kohan
Mama!' Rosie tugged on my shirt. 'This broccoli is tasty and wonderful'.
— Curtis Sittenfeld
Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?
— Jim Jefferies
I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
— Mark Twain
There exists a microscopic breed of brain beetle, commonly known as an 'idea'. An idea desires only one thing: To catch the perfect brain wave.
— Leah Broadby
The illiteracy level of our children are appalling.
— George W. Bush
I longed for funny stories about the sort of children who lived in my neighborhood.
— Beverly Cleary
Every child that receives life advice should keep in mind that in every parent's past, there's leftover booze and contraceptives.
— Bauvard
Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children.
— Michael Morpurgo
I survived a divorce, no children and come to Paris three days per week. My cat ran away on a love adventure; don't know when he will be back.
— Tionne Rogers
I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things.
— Gilbert Gottfried
Better to have to retrace your steps and then move forward than never to move forward at all.
— Anne Burack Sayre
It's funny how the ugly duckling always has so many beautiful things to teach us.
— Curtis Tyrone Jones
But there's no doubt that children have an innate sense of humor. No matter how young they are, they always know when something's really funny.
— Tetsuko Kuroyanagi
Our parents would not be 'The best parents in the world' (to us) if they were not our parents.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.
— Ralph Wycherley
I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade
— Russell Howard
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
— Jean Baudrillard
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
— Groucho Marx
I was an only child, eventually.
— Steven Wright