Funny Car Quotes
Collection of top 57 famous quotes about Funny Car
Funny Car Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Car quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
— Steven Wright
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
— Rodney Dangerfield
You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.
— Harvey Diamond
Never have more children than you have car windows.
— Erma Bombeck
We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
![Funny Car Quotes By Adrienne Wilder: [the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/funny-car-quotes-by-adrienne-wilder-151503.jpg "Funny Car Quotes By Adrienne Wilder: [the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that")
[the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that when I drove in the wrong part of town and it let loose with a gas fart, people actually ducked for cover.
— Adrienne Wilder
And the first five places are filled by five different cars.
— Murray Walker
And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself.
— Murray Walker
You try almost dying, being chased, thenhopping in a car with a complete (horny)
stranger. — Gena Showalter
Porsche is a driver's car - a performance car. That was funny - here's this awesome car, but it's got no cup holders.
— Jason McCoy
A boy and a girl started dating after he backed his car into hers. They met by accident.
— Adam Young
Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?
— Kristen Schaal
You must be a blast on long car rides.""Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic. — Nenia Campbell
The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.
— Chic Murray
Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
— Erma Bombeck
I often pay homeless people to come round and clean my car.
— Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
— Steven Wright
Jary, Garge, Elane and Daved Pady emerge from the Lamborgini Veneno like sad clown's from the SICKEST clown car ever.
— Seinfeld 2000
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
— Henny Youngman
I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."
— Henny Youngman
If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car.
— Katt Williams
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
— Billy Sunday
And I figured you'd drive a four-hour round-trip before giving up your car to someone else
— Richelle Mead
If you think it's funny to make fun of the "used car salesman," you better only buy new and never sell your car. Just sayin.
— Richie Norton
Dogs who chase cars evidently see them as large, unruly ungulates badly in need of discipline and shepherding.
— Elizabeth Marshall Thomas
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
— Henny Youngman
The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car.
— Derek Landy
Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do?
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.
— Mitch Hedberg
My Scottie refused to go for a walk with a friend of the house, but she would joyously accompany any stranger who drove a car.
— Mazo De La Roche
Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.
— Jerry Seinfeld
I had a dream about you last night. It wasn't until after you sold me the talking car, I realized you were the world's best ventriloquist.
— Michael Summers
I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good.
— Whoopi Goldberg
I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
When I was on acid, I would see things like beams of light and I would hear sounds that sounded an awful lot like car horns.
— Mitch Hedberg
Adrian, I'm on a date. Why are you here? On my car?
— Richelle Mead
You tell your brother he's gonna pay for that car in silver.
— Neal Shusterman
