Farts Quotes: top 76 famous quotes about Farts

Farts Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Farts quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

You're all mad for words. Words are just farts from a lot of fools who have swallowed too many books. Give me things! — Robertson Davies

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else ... — Demetri Martin

A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death. — Michael Bassey Johnson

Sounds like your life just let out a bunch of bad farts. — Helen Landalf

Kids are like farts in that way. They never seem to bother the owner as much as they bother everyone else. — Karl Pilkington

The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that! — Jessica Simpson

I love baseball. I'll probably end up one of those old farts who go to spring training in Florida every year and drive from game to game all day. — Steve Earle

Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart. — Mena Suvari

a bag of wet farts. But — Pierce Brown

These days if I ate three bites of a Blizzard, that Blizzard would turn into a tornado of farts. — Mamrie Hart

EGGS! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance! — Dylan Moran

You stuck listening devices all over the dacha
even in the bathroom. You spend the people's money to eavesdrop on my farts. — Nikita Khrushchev

It goes on top and breaks down,
It can emit a high or low sound.
Each atom of such noisy chute
Exhale the aroma of a ripe fruit. — Ana Claudia Antunes

Earth's flaming farts, it worked! — N.K. Jemisin

There's nothing worse than a bunch of jaded old farts, and that's a fact. — Robert Plant

A man who farts in bed . . . is a man who loves life. — Muriel Barbery

Ridge: Better. I can't hear my own farts, so sometimes I'll forget that other people can hear them. — Colleen Hoover

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we ate. — Jane Austen

Today, I made a log of farts. — Esther Pearl Watson

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. — Robin Williams

Farts demand to be passed," Augustus said, which was a line from A Posterior Affliction. — Adam Aarons

Males and farts. Any species, any planet, didn't matter. We — Ilona Andrews

I always thought that farts were funny, and I always thought that they were mine to talk about because they came out of my body. — Jenny Slate

...it was like finding a brother who farts in key. — Dale McGowan

A fart in the face is love. — James Kidd

You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you... — James Joyce

Oh for God's sake, Jack, lighten up. You know the old saying. Every man loves the smell of his own farts." In — Jake Needham

Thanks for agreeing to watch Fat Rabbit. Hope you're prepared for lots of farts in your future. From the dog, of course. — Karina Halle

I doubt he'd give me the smell from his farts - no, tell a lie: in that one respect he's being more than generous. — Ian Rankin

Don't let the elegance act fool you," Varen said, drawing out his notepad. "She farts. — Kelly Creagh

The smell of life." "The smell of farts. — Lev Grossman

If the game is run properly as a professional game, you do not need 57 old farts running rugby. — Will Carling

There's a place for farts, and there's a place for sharts. — J.E. Haldeman

Words are just farts from a lot of fools who have swallowed too many books. — Robertson Davies

You know why farts smell?" "I don't." "So the deaf can enjoy them too. — Bernard Cornwell

The rest of the guys in Sabbath became boring old farts, and there I was, this crazy guy, still into wrecking hotel rooms and having parties. — Ozzy Osbourne

Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. — Tina Fey

I will never write anything better than Homestuck. Nigger farts! Jews: Kill them all. — Andrew Hussie

Did I not tell you earlier that a Jew is such a noble, precious jewel that God and all the angels dance when he farts? — Martin Luther

If I could make money making armpit farts, I would. But since I can't, I teach. And write. — Richard B. Knight

She loved dogs, New York, television, children, friendship, sex, laughing, heartbreaking songs, marijuana, farts, and cuddling. — Sarah Silverman

Besides, when you say you're a feminist it annoys the bigots and the old farts and the prissy ladies so much, it's kind of irresistible. — Ursula K. Le Guin

I have a playlist of farts on my phone. — Lena Headey

Narinder squeezed the giant bottle of washing-up liquid until her fingers touched through the plastic. All she got was bubbles and farts. — Sunjeev Sahota

When an octopus farts, it can't hide it. — Gemma Elwin Harris

Oh God. I'm jealous of farts. — Jennifer Lynn Barnes

No matter how politely one says it, we owe our existence to the farts of blue-green algae. — Diane Ackerman

A person who discreetly farts in an elevator is not a divine being, and a man needs to know this. — Robert Bly

The idea of spending another six hours with Leon and his farts was more than I could take. — John Scalzi

You're talking farts, not words! — Luo Guanzhong

Adverse winds are holding mad Christmas in him, boys. — Herman Melville

You're not crazy. And yes, cow farts chase the fog away. The only problem is the smell. — L.R.W. Lee

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote. — Craig Benzine

I am happy everywhere except in places where I see glitz and rich farts. I am happiest in Brooklyn, where the concentration of rich farts is minimal. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Farting, don't think, just fart. — John Cage

You know things are weird when you start appreciating your farts. — John Corey Whaley

It's all saturated in sweat, pubes, and vegan farts!" Dennis — Michelle Garza

Confusius says One who farts in church sits in pew! — Grout Man

Most people enjoy the sight of their own handwriting as they enjoy the smell of their own farts. — W. H. Auden

And then all of a sudden she let out the biggest, loudest, smelliest fart in the history of farts. Mom — R.J. Palacio

So I'm standing there, holding a googly-eyed can of beans as it shakes and loudly farts the birthday song to me in a gas station. — Jenny Lawson

Warren made bursting noises under the bed. A rancorous stench. Dog Farts Fell Family of Four. — Annie Proulx

Bloated software causes IT stress farts. — Kevin Focke

Hey guys, stop locking antlers. The smell of testosterone is overriding the farts. — Lisa Marie Rice

Modern music is three farts and a raspberry, orchestrated. — John Barbirolli

Have you been sniffing fairy farts? — Kim Harrison

A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts — Frank Skinner

Envy is like farts? BELLA. Everyone suffers from it. But, if you let it out . . . you don't smell very nice. And everyone moves away from you. — Nina Raine

The coaches stunk of coal smoke and rationed tobacco and rationed booze and the farts of people eating wartime food. — Kurt Vonnegut

I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts. — John Entwistle

Readers of my online journal - I refuse to use the word blog because it sounds like something that lives on a riverbed and communicates through farts — Yahtzee Croshaw

Kangaroo farts, as fate would have it, don't contain methane. — Steven D. Levitt

I want no part of this nonsense. This whole city is a butt that farts horror. — David Wong

Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny. — Mark Hoppus

My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts. — Carl Barron

It was like finding a long-lost brother who farts in the same key. — Dale McGowan