Drinking Humor Quotes
Collection of top 63 famous quotes about Drinking Humor
Drinking Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Drinking Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
He wanted one drink, and understood precisely why he wasn't going to have one. One drink ended up arriving in a dozen glasses.
— Terry Pratchett
Karl Marx: "Religion is the opiate of the masses."Carrie Fisher: "I did masses of opiates religiously. — Carrie Fisher
Johnny was one for taking notions. He'd take a notion that life was too much for him and start drinking heavier to forget it.
— Betty Smith
I'm more than a few neurons shy of a synapse right now, and it feels absolutely fan-fucking-tastic.
— Nenia Campbell
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
— W.C. Fields
Free drinks have no carbs.
— Nicki Elson
These days, "getting lucky" means drinking an entire cup of COFFEE while it's still HOT!
— Tanya Masse
She was thinking of doing a little Cuervo therapy.
— Kelly Moran
Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!
— Warren Ellis
I guess I forgot we were going out tonight.""We always go out on Fridays."
"It's Thursday, Alvis."
"You are so tied to routine. — Jess Walter
I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host. — Dorothy Parker
Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them. — Terry Pratchett
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
— Steve Martin
I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.
— George Best
I've never understood people who just go out for one drink. Once I have one drink, I want all the drinks.
— Vicki Lesage
You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order
— Josh Stern
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
— Alex Levine
I also drink Scotch. But I'm not picky. I'll take the victory Scotch, or the Scotch of defeat. Or the rotgut swill.
— Rob Thomas
Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.
— Criss Jami
Georgie grabbed a Zima then poured it into a cup so she wouldn't look like she was drinking Zima.
— Rainbow Rowell
It was all fine until the girls started drinking. (Everything is always fine up until that point.)
— John Duover
He only drinks when he gets depressed,' said Carrot. 'Why does he get depressed?'
'Sometimes it's because he hasn't had a drink. — Terry Pratchett
Life isn't about drinking cool aide. Sometimes you have to take the castor oil too.
— Jennifer Donohoe
Kid, I've only known you two days and I've seen you plastered three times." He shook his head. "A bar would not be a good career move for you.
— Jennifer Crusie
We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don't. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who don't!
— Tamsyn Bester
A cigarette, a sip, a question; breathing, drinking and asking, she demonstrates all the basic applications for the human mouth.
— Chuck Palahniuk
It became sort of a snowball effect, with guys trying to deal in their own way with 9/11, whether it was drinking or whatever,
— Denis Leary
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name and you've never been to that bar before. — Zach Galifianakis
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
— Henny Youngman
And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.
— Augusten Burroughs
Some single men stop drinking when they git married and others start!
— Tennessee Williams
I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant ... if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?
— Chelsea Handler
The only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner
— Josh Stern
Reggie, you wrapped your sports car around a telephone pole after drinking a bar." "Yeah... But I was wearing my seatbelt. — Daniel Younger
I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.
— Chelsea Handler
Sweat, scalded meat, puke, blood, smoke and a dozen kinds of bad ale and wine: the bouquet of civilized nightlife
— Scott Lynch
When reality and your dreams collide, typically it's just your alarm clock going off.
— Crystal Woods
When a man is on the road to power he buys everyone a drink. Once elected he tries to close the saloons.
— Robert Lautner
Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
— Regina Griffin
I talk better when I'm drinking coffee." "Me, too. If by coffee you mean beer, and by better you mean louder.
— D.D. Barant
You know you're officially an adult when you finally understand WHY Miss Hannigan was drinking bath water.
— Christy Hall
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
— Benjamin Franklin
Don't be drinking the Haterade.
— Holly Black
I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
— Darynda Jones
