Diller's Quotes

Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Diller's

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Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: I am a contrarian. I am a contrarian. Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: It took me three weeks to stuff the It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Housework can't kill you, but why take a Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Old age is when the liver spots show Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: We're in a world now where it's not We're in a world now where it's not enough to be smart. You have to be curious. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: The real reason your pro tells you to The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Self-pity is better than none. Self-pity is better than none. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: My husband is so useless that it's hard My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Money's scarceTimes are hardHere's your fuckingXmas card Money's scarce
Times are hard
Here's your fucking
Xmas card — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: My body's in such bad shape I wear My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: Now along comes the potential creative destruction brought Now along comes the potential creative destruction brought by a different distribution methodology, the Internet. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: The entertainment business hasn't had a new idea The entertainment business hasn't had a new idea in years. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I'm from such an old family, it's been I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: Since I was in my early twenties, at Since I was in my early twenties, at ABC, I was always only interested in things that were not already being done. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I've buried a lot of my laundry in I've buried a lot of my laundry in the back yard. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Most people get an appointment at a beauty Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor ... I was committed! — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: You know you're old if they have discontinued You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: It's an ill will that blows when you It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I was in a beauty contest once. I I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Remember there is no way you can give Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Markus Zusak: He was hanging from one of the rafters He was hanging from one of the rafters in a laundry up near Frau Diller's. Another human pendulum. Another clock, stopped. — Markus Zusak
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: The doctor looked my body over. I said: The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I was so wrinkled I could screw my I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Before you get married you should meet your Before you get married you should meet your fiance's parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: You know you're old if your walker has You know you're old if your walker has an airbag. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I always wondered how I could tell when I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: He has so many muscles he has to He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: You know you're old when someone compliments you You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Comedy is tragedy revisited. Comedy is tragedy revisited. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: My house used to be haunted, but the My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Just the other day I said to Fang, Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I spent seven hours in a beauty shop I spent seven hours in a beauty shop ... and that was for the estimate. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Red Buttons: E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner! — Red Buttons
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I don't know how you feel about old I don't know how you feel about old age ... but in my case I didn't even see it coming. It hit me from the rear. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: My father used to call me the laughing My father used to call me the laughing hyena. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: My opinion, young people go to the Internet. My opinion, young people go to the Internet. To the Internet distribution system right now, you put it up there and it's accessed by the world. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I've been asked to say a couple of I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: The American public tunes in every night hoping The American public tunes in every night hoping to see two people screwing. Obviously, we can't give them that but let's always keep it in mind. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: This man I was going with asked me This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Get married with the feeling it is going Get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: We want to be able to sell you We want to be able to sell you anything, anywhere, any time you want it. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Every time I go near the stove, the Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Housework won't kill you, but then again, why Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance? — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids ... and when you're away from them, who needs it?. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: One [expert] said, 'Always have a baby sitter One [expert] said, 'Always have a baby sitter who is acquainted with your children.' If they were acquainted with my children, they wouldn't sit! — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: All forms of commerce are adversarial. All forms of commerce are adversarial. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: Well, the Internet is this miracle. It is Well, the Internet is this miracle. It is an absolutely extraordinary idea that you can press a send button, and you are publishing to the world. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Your husband is lazy if the directions on Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I like to serve chocolate cake, because it I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: If you have too many epiphanies, you're on If you have too many epiphanies, you're on some kind of drug. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: By far the most common craving of pregnant By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: Doctors say it's okay to have sex after Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: There's so little money in my bank account, There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: Hollywood is a community that's so inbred, it's Hollywood is a community that's so inbred, it's a wonder the children have any teeth. — Barry Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: All I ever learned at my mother's knee All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: It's true Fang and I fight, but we've It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: There's such a buildup of crud in my There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book; or a friend who's #read one. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Phyllis Diller: We spend the first 12 months of our We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up. — Phyllis Diller
Diller's Quotes By Barry Diller: The only way anyone's going to succeed is The only way anyone's going to succeed is to build the product. — Barry Diller