Death Humor Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Death Humor
Death Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Death Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
The fear of death is why we build cathedrals, have children, declare war, and watch cat videos online at three a.m.
— Caitlin Doughty
I'm just glad you didn't die while we were gone," Brent said. "He'd be so pissed. And you know, you'd be dead. So that would suck.
— Bree Despain
Sure. If she gets mugged, she can just flute them to death.
— Seanan McGuire
What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I will kill you.
— Jackson Lanzing
Still, waking up this early was just wrong. "Why can't people be reasonable and only die after eleven A.M.?" I whined.
— Diana Rowland
A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.
— Michael Bassey Johnson
Good morning!" my partner, Derrel, said in an insanely cheerful voice. "I need my Angel to come out and play.
— Diana Rowland
If you can kill it, or it can kill you, it's real.
— Laini Taylor
The dead know everything but they don't give a damn.
— Joanne Harris
If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?
— Doug Stanhope
Certainty. Life's last and kindest gift.
— Milan Kundera
There is no hope for the future, said Death
— Terry Pratchett
I'm Allen Walker!"My life....is over...I'm going to die.... — Katsura Hoshino
Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?
— MaryJanice Davidson
Two puzzles that cannot be solved:The miracle of birth and misery of death. — Lailah Gifty Akita
If I weren't already dead, I'd have to kill myself just so I could roll over in my grave.
— D.J. MacHale
In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.
— Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Eve "I shopped,"she saidRoarke "Dear God! Are you all right? Should I call for the MTs?"
Eve "Smartass. — J.D. Robb
One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans.
— Kelli Jae Baeli
To each his own, I supposed, and I had more important things, like my impending death, to worry about.
— Sage Kafsky
Love make us poets, and the approach of death should make us philosophers.
— George Santayana
Have I cheated death again? Hades must be allergic to me.
— Amanda Bouchet
I take this continent with me into the grave.
— Ray Bradbury
Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
— Dov Davidoff
If I convert it's because it's better that a believer dies than that an atheist does.
— Christopher Hitchens
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
— Fulton J. Sheen
Violence can read like poetry. You just have to describe the act as if you're in love with the way your characters bleed.
— F.K. Preston
I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Once you hold the hand of Death, the only thing in life that can scare you is a sense of humor.
— Lionel Suggs
Death can come slow. Death can come quick. If you've got one last breath, you better make the most of it.
— A.H. Scott
Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Don't be afraid, be terrified
— Christopher Pike
Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.
— Chuck Palahniuk
We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.
— Terry Pratchett
It's just like an alcoholic to think he's doing the Zombie Apocalypse wrong.
— Michele W. Miller
Later in the morning Saul tried to die.
— Ray Bradbury
I WAS NOT EXPECTING A NAC MAC FEEGLE TODAY, said Death. OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE WORN PROTECTIVE CLOTHING, HA HA.
— Terry Pratchett
Louis-Cesare. It's good to finally have you in hand.
— Karen Chance
The price for using dark magic is death, so that goes a long way toward deterring users.
— Devon Monk
HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)
— Terry Pratchett
I neither require nor desire your gratitude, mistress. I want nothing in these worlds save your death.Volusian to Eugenie — Richelle Mead
Whilst my god is known for his sense of humour, I don't think it extends as far as to save us from death just to kill us as soon as we wake up.
— Athan Fletcher
He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.
— Terry Pratchett
For appearances. Now there's a lovely thing to die for.
— Gerald Morris
Humor, like Death, has all seasons for his own.
— Ambrose Bierce
I'm going to get 'I'M NOT FUCKING DEAD' tattooed on my chest.""That will become inaccurate at some point, " Omar pointed out. — Domashita Romero
Man. Being mostly dead is hard on a guy.
— Jim Butcher
Without death Death is dead
— Silje Akselberg Iversen
Never thought I'd see the day when Death was denied. That leaves taxes as the only certainty.
— Piers Anthony
He's spending a year dead for tax reasons.
— Douglas Adams
I feel no grief for being called somethingwhich
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski
Anything designed to be inoffensive isn't worth your time life itself is pretty offensive, ending as it does with death. — Holly Lisle
An eye for an eye my friend.
— Tsugumi Ohba
I played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us. Or they thought we were OK.
— Mitch Hedberg
When I die I hope it may be said:'Her suffering was black, but her books were read'. — Shannon L. Alder
Someone dying asks if there is life after death. Yes, comes the answer, only not yours.
— E.L. Doctorow
When old friends get together, everything else fades to insignificance.- War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death
— Robert Asprin
Don't we all hope to die with a smile on our faces?
— Jeff O'Brien
Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them.
— Margaret Mitchell
Any film which views the darker side of life, which is death with a sense of humor, is very much to my taste.
— Carter Burwell
Death is, in fact, oddly pleasant, and certainly an improvement on what comes immediately before it.
— E.A.A. Wilson
I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I'd better go drown myself before I freeze to death.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I'd rather be stung to death by a bunch of piss ants. ~Synola Harper, You're Busting My Nuptials
— Ann Everett
Next time you wish to feed me poison, warn me first, Loor demanded. (The Merchant of Death)
— D.J. MacHale
A heart? Peppone knows where one is to be met with. There is always someone in the black market in need of dying early.
— Michelle Franklin
It's like a jolt of electric, but worse.
— Lee Davidson
Being single is not a death sentence.
— Philip Siegel
Misa: I can't even imagine a world without light!L: Well yes, that would be quite dark. — Takeshi Obata
If your life was complete, you'd be dead.
— Joshua Wisenbaker
There are no nudists in cold areas.
— Tsugumi Ohba
Men die. It's practically what they're for.
— Catherynne M Valente
Sometimes the only answer to death is lunch.
— Jim Harrison