Comic Wise Quotes

Schopenhauer writes about marriage. He says getting married is like grasping blind into a sack of snakes and hoping to find an eel. — Laura Moriarty

When I first came to do shows in Vegas, I followed the usual entertainer's syndrome - I played craps and lost. — Gabe Kaplan

I don't eat four-legged animals, but I eat birds, I eat cheese, I eat dessert. I eat everything. — Gwyneth Paltrow

You made me feel what summertime really is. Underneath what's bright, you knew the hot dark rasp of it. — Ava Dellaira

Treat everyone with kindness, dignity, compassion and respect, irrespective of whether you think they understand or not. — Martin Pistorius

I learned to value the small transactions as well as the large. — Frank Lowy

Moral excellence is the bright consummate flower of all progress. — Charles Sumner

With older people, it's quite different. They're reliable, they show you what to do, and there's solidity in their affection. — Jean-Paul Sartre

I'm not any good at foul language or anything like that. — Thora Hird

Don't crap where you eat — Barry Lyga

Think reds, orange, yellows, greens, purple, blue - the darker and deeper the colors, the better they are for you. — Rick Warren

What do you think of the criticism that you're not very good? — George Harrison

A wise man once said NOTHING ... He just let her vent, nodded his head and live happily ever after! — Tanya Masse

For me from a pretty young age up until about 21 years old hallucinogenics had a huge place in my life. — Jon Fishman

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. — Henry Ford