Best Tommy Cooper Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about Best Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Best Tommy Cooper quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: I bought some HP sauce the other day.

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Two fish in a tank, one says to

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: My dog was barking at everyone the other

My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Last night I dreamt I ate a ten

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: 'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green

'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.' — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: A policeman stopped me and said: Would you

A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Went to the corner shop - bought 4

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: I went to the dentist. He said "Say

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died." — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: A friend of mine drowned in a bowl

A friend of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and

Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's." "Well you can't say fairer than that then — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: A guy walks into a pub with a

A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Went to the paper shop - it had

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: So he said 'I'm going to chop off

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.' — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: I had a ploughman's lunch the other day.

I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three

I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar,

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: You know, somebody actually complimented me on my

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: I used to be indecisive but now I

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: spoon, jar, jar jar spoon

spoon, jar, jar jar spoon — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Well, my wife and I were married in

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience! — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: I had a dream last night, I was

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the

Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?' — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: I went window shopping today! I bought four

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: My wife had a go at me last

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: A jump lead walks into a bar. The

A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: And an airplane of spittle dived into the

And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas. — Tommy Cooper

Best Tommy Cooper Quotes By Tommy Cooper: Our ice cream man was found lying on

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. — Tommy Cooper