paper-pushers can't figure me out. all they understand is bullshit and politics, which amounts to the same thing.
— Peter Benchley
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
— Robert Benchley
It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation.
— Robert Benchley
Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books
— Robert Benchley
don't mind. I just thought you might not want to." The three men
— Peter Benchley
The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
— Robert Benchley
If Robert Benchley and Dorothy Parker had teamed up to write epic fantasy, something like Split Heirs might have resulted.
— John DeChancie
I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.
— Robert Benchley
A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.
— Robert Benchley
You're gonna need a bigger boat.
— Peter Benchley
If you're young and wild, you tend to believe your clippings. One day you're Hemingway. The next day you're nothing.
— Peter Benchley
Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.
— Robert Benchley
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
— Robert Benchley
There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
— Robert Benchley
Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.
— Robert Benchley
God isn't going to scribble across the sky. The shark is gone.
— Peter Benchley
odds might be good, but the stakes were prohibitively high. He
— Peter Benchley
One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
— Robert Benchley
The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
— Robert Benchley
Ideas for stories come to me based on my life, so who knows? If somebody sends me to become an astronaut, that's what I'll end up writing.
— Peter Benchley
Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
— Robert Benchley
Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
— Robert Benchley
She sleeps alone at last.
— Robert Benchley
I am more the inspirational type of speller. I work on hunches rather than mere facts, and the result is sometimes open to criticism by purists.
— Robert Benchley
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
— Robert Benchley
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
— Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
— Robert Benchley
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
— Robert Benchley
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
— Robert Benchley
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
— Robert Benchley
Twenty-five years ago nobody knew much about white sharks. — Peter Benchley
be possible that — Victoria Benchley
The past always seems better when you look back on it than it did at the time. And the present never looks as good as it will in the future. — Peter Benchley
I'm a babe in the woods when it comes to the Internet. — Peter Benchley
Sharks are like ax-murderers, Martin. People react to them with their guts. There's something crazy and evil and uncontrollable about them. — Peter Benchley
England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example. — Robert Benchley
I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle. — Robert Benchley
Charlemagne either died or was born or did something with the Holy Roman Empire in 800. — Robert Benchley
Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men. — Robert Benchley
I dive as much as I can. — Peter Benchley
A freelance is one who gets paid by the word per piece or perhaps. — Robert Benchley
Without the oceans there would be no life on Earth. — Peter Benchley
I don't believe in blaming inanimate objects for anything. — Peter Benchley
It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly. — Robert Benchley
After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year. — Robert Benchley
If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge. — Robert Benchley
I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author. — Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. — Robert Benchley
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. — Robert Benchley
The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice. — Robert Benchley
I believe implicitly that every young man in the world is fascinated with either sharks or dinosaurs. — Peter Benchley
If only those old walls could talk ... how boring they would be. — Robert Benchley
Writing is sweat and drudgery most of the time. And you have to love it in order to endure the solitude and the discipline. — Peter Benchley
I haven't been abroad in so long that I almost speak English without an accent now. — Robert Benchley
What had once seemed shallow and tedious now loomed in memory like paradise. — Peter Benchley
Don't go into the water if you're bleeding - at all, from anything, anywhere on your body. — Peter Benchley
The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something. — Robert Benchley
You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health. — Robert Benchley
An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens. — Robert Benchley
We're going to need a bigger boat. — Peter Benchley
I hope that 'Jaws' will have brought sharks into the public interest at a time when we desperately need to reevaluate our care for the environment. — Peter Benchley
What was it? What could itHis last thought was surprise. — Peter Benchley
The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success. — Robert Benchley
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of. — Robert Benchley
Hooper ladled chum, which sounded to Brody, every time it hit the water, like diarrhea. — Peter Benchley
There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory. — Robert Benchley
The only cure for a real hangover is death. — Robert Benchley
There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either. — Robert Benchley
If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out. — Robert Benchley
Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper. — Robert Benchley
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. — Robert Benchley
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one — Robert Benchley
Without sharks, you take away the apex predator of the ocean, and you destroy the entire food chain. — Peter Benchley
Robert Benchley has a style that is weak and lies down frequently to rest. — Max Eastman
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water ... — Peter Benchley
It's hard to care deeply for something that might turn on you and eat you. — Peter Benchley
I don't think there's such a thing as an unprovoked shark attack. — Peter Benchley
This is a work of fiction, and the people in it are fictitious. The ghosts are real. — Nathaniel Benchley
Come up fish. Come to Quint. — Peter Benchley
Everything I've written is based on something that has happened to me or something that I know a great deal about. — Peter Benchley
Streets flooded. Please advise. — Robert Benchley
Fascinations breeds preparedness, and preparedness, survival. — Peter Benchley
There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children. — Robert Benchley
We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born. — Robert Benchley
In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop. — Robert Benchley
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. — Robert Benchley
mean anything." She seemed subdued, sad. — Peter Benchley
We should be afraid of sharks half as much as sharks should be afraid of us. — Peter Benchley
There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. — Robert Benchley
To fantasies', he said. 'Tell me about yours.' His eyes were a bright, liquid blue, and his lips were parted in a half smile. — Peter Benchley
Ellen Brody:Wanna get drunk and fool around?
Brody:
Oh Yeah. — Peter Benchley
Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't. — Robert Benchley
Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. — Robert Benchley
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation. — Robert Benchley
If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls. — Robert Benchley
If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios. — Robert Benchley
